Saturday, June 27, 2015

HWX: A Kinder, Gentler Machine Gun Hand


It’s a special Saturday edition of HWX, with Brian Ward of Fraters Libertas and Paul Happe of the Nihilist in Golf Pants who reconvene to discuss the important issues of the day. Topics addressed include:

•The family favorite segment “What are you drinking?” and our potentially controversial libation choices.

•The recent Supreme Court decisions and what that august body can learn from the NBA draft.

•Review of “Jurassic World” and preview of the new movie “Jurassic Campaign: Hillasaurus Rex”.

•Donald Trump’s entrance into the Presidential sweepstakes and his unfortunate choice of a campaign theme song, with a dramatic reading from Paul Happe.

•Martin O’Malley appeals to broad ethnic stereotypes in his campaign theme songs.

There are many ways to hear the podcast, including over on the mother ship at Ricochet.  You can be sure to never miss an episode by subscribing via iTunes.  Or you can just use the player embedded in the upper right hand corner of this website.  If all of these fail, send me an email and I'll come to your house and read from a written transcript.  Hope you enjoy.


Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Keep it Smart Stupid

In the years since 9/11, I’ve traveled a fair amount. And while I haven’t been happy about some of their practices, I’ve been rather tolerant regarding the TSA. I haven’t been wont to howl in outrage that my civil liberties are being violated because I have to go through a body scan to board a plane. Something needed to be done to prevent further terrorist attacks in the air and while the effectiveness of some TSA measures to do so seemed rather dubious, I was for the part willing to go along for the greater good. My bigger problems with the TSA was the inefficiency of many their processes and the seemingly capricious nature of some of the rule changes which only created confusion and frustration for travelers.

However, a recent travel experience tested my patience and tolerance for the organization. My mother-in-law accompanied us on a trip to Colorado for a family gathering/vacation. Since I am part of TSA’s PreCheck program and they were traveling with me, my wife and three boys also received expedited screening privileges. And to their credit, the TSA decided that an eighty-two-year old grandmother (soon to be great) from a small town in Minnesota would also not have to go through the usual security rigmarole and so she too was PreCheck.

Okay, so far we have an eighty-two-year-old woman with PreCheck status who needs to go through security. Should be simple, right?

And it might have been if my mother-in-law hadn’t had both her knees replaced. She relayed that critical tidbit of information to the TSA screeners both when we left Minneapolis and on our return flight from Denver.

The experience in Minneapolis wasn’t bad. After she set up alarms going through the metal detector, they diverted her to the body scan machine. Once she passed that, she was good to go. It resulted in a few moments of confusion when we couldn’t figure out what happened to her and a slight delay for us in clearing security, but it was at most a minor inconvenience.

In Denver however things were a bit more complicated. After my mother-in-law rang the wrong sort of bells with the metal detector she was instructed to step aside and wait for a female agent who to perform enhanced security techniques. The agent who arrived was apparently not having a great day and it showed in her attitude. I’m not going to say bitchy because that would describe her perfectly (nod to Jim Gaffigan). Her lack of civility combined with her lack of common sense made for a perfect storm of the kind of mindless TSA behavior that drives people insane.

Which was exactly the impact it had on my wife. After we waited and watched the proceedings for a while, she finally got fed up and went over to see what was going on. If there’s one thing that I’ve learned from my travels it’s that the TSA doesn’t really appreciate such interventions even when done with the best of intentions. Knowing that and that my wife was frustrated that her mother was being treated rudely without reason I had visions of an incident brewing which would not only delay our return home, but also get the whole family placed on the permanent terrorist watch list.

Thankfully she resisted the urge to express her real emotions at that moment and managed to keep things under control. She soon rejoined us with her mother who apparently wasn’t such a threat after all.

I’m all for the assurances of security which the TSA is supposed to provide. As long as it’s done smartly.

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Separated at Birth: Newsboy Cap Edition

Over the Hill rocker David Lee Roth of Van Halen, sporting a cap:
David Lee Roth Hits Up Nicki Minaj During Van Halen Performance
Over the Hill Rocker Brian Johnson of AC/DC, sporting a cap:
Eredeti fájl ‎ (2 169 × 2 165 képpont, fájlméret: 590 KB, MIME ...
a not-so-good sport, Andy Capp:

Separated at Birth: Presidential Contenders Edition

Republican frontrunner Jeb Bush:

and LPGA frontrunner Inbee Park:

Friday, June 19, 2015

HWX: Call Me Caitlyn and The New Normal



It’s a special edition of HWX, with Brian Ward of Fraters Libertas and Paul Happe of the Nihilist in Golf Pants who reconvene to discuss the important issues of the day. Topics addressed include:
  • The meaning of Bruce and/or Caitlyn Jenner, including a preview of this summer’s blockbuster biopic starring Jack Nicholson

  • Hurricane Hillary Clinton hits Houston with her conspiracy theory of the moment: systematic disenfranchisement of the poor, people of color, and young people by Republicans from coast to coast. We pick through the rubble, with an assist from the X Files.

  • The meaning of black and/or white NAACP activist and Africana Studies professor Rachel Dolezal.

  • The latest vocal stylings of Democrat Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders, including return appearances of Jackie Mason, the Anteater from Pink Panther, and special appearance by Bob Marley.

  • This Week in Gate Keeping, and the newspaper the East Oregonian heralding yet another societal barrier falling with the triumph of an Amphibian American.
Screen-Shot-2014-07-18-at-10.49.08-AM
 
 
 



HWX is brought to you by Harry’s, the finest shaving implement and accessories provider on the Internet. For the perfect Father’s day gift, check out Harry’s fine selection of products, and get additional, big savings by entering HWX as the coupon code at check out.





There are many ways to hear the podcast, including over on the mother ship at Ricochet.  You can be sure to never miss an episode by subscribing via iTunes.  Or you can just use the player embedded in the upper right hand corner of this website.  If all of these fail, send me an email and I'll come to your house and read from a written transcript.  Hope you enjoy.


Thursday, June 18, 2015

Hit the Lights

One of the great clichés of growing older is that you find yourself acting more and more like your parents in words and deeds. One area where I’ve come to notice this of late is how one of my prime missions as a father has been to patrol the house turning off lights left on by one of the children. It’s a duty that invokes mixed feelings as the satisfaction felt by stopping the needless lighting of a room is matched by frustration at having to undertake such a task in the first place: is it really that hard to flip the switch as you leave the room? For about the 784th time since having kids, I find myself saying “Now, I know why Dad was always doing that.”

So with Father’s Day right around the corner (still time to jump on that unlimited beer for life boys) I thought I’d offer encouragement to all the dads out there who share my lights out zeal.

(with apologies to Dylan Thomas)

Do not relent in fighting the good fight,
Old dad should burn & rave at lights that on stay;
Rage, rage against the wasting of the light.


Monday, June 01, 2015

HWX: Bibles, Bakeries, Corruption, Sex, and the US Presidency,with Music


HWX returns for a special pre-Presidential election broadcast (now only 17 months away). Brian Ward of Fraters Libertas and Paul Happe of the Nihilist in Golf Pants reconvene to discuss he important issues of the day. Topics include:
  • The theological and political meaning of Hillary Clinton quoting bible verses in a bakery in South Carolina, with exclusive audio of the exchange.
  • Further discussion of Presidential campaign theme songs, with the exciting debut of a new HWX album, Campaign Gold.
  • Sepp Blatter and FIFA, how corrupt are they and should the United States care? Including the announcement of the release of a new HWX pharmaceutical product, FIFAmax.
  • Bernie Sanders, distinguished Senator, Presidential candidate, and sex essayist, including an interpretational reading of the controversial text.
  • This Week in Gate Keeping, with a disturbing story that may mean your recent weight gain is the fault of the mainstream media.
Screen-Shot-2014-07-18-at-10.49.08-AM

This broadcast is brought to you by the fine folks at Harry’s. Summer is here and now is the chance to start making smarter decisions. Overpaying for drugstore razor blades is a bad habit that you should leave behind. Make the smart switch to Harry’s. And use the coupon code HWX for big, big savings.




There are many ways to hear the podcast, including over on the mother ship at Ricochet.  You can be sure to never miss an episode by subscribing via iTunes.  Or you can just use the player embedded in the upper right hand corner of this website.  If all of these fail, send me an email and I'll come to your house and read from a written transcript.  Hope you enjoy.