Vote Early, Vote Often, Vote Free Growth

If you live in the Minneapolis-St. Paul metro area and want to let the Met Council know what you want in your transportation future, go to Take Charge, Twin Cities and cast your vote. This unelected governmental body usually likes to dictate policy to the ignorant masses of the area so this is a rare chance to have your voice heard. Thanks to a local friend for putting me onto this one.

Catch It While It's Hot

Call me crazy but the I believe that the Brit import Trigger Happy TV airing on Comedy Central is the one of the funniest shows on the air right now. It's sort of a 'Jackass' with wit and a touch of subtlety.

Something's Missing With Today's Intelligensia

Sharp piece by Mark Goldblatt at National Review Online exposes the lack of substance among certain members of the liberal media elite and intoduces the Dowd Rule:

New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd, who once upon a time was a clever little girl, but who's been running on fumes since roughly the last presidential election, nowadays can hardly write 600 words without a gratuitous swipe at George Bush's supposed lack of intelligence. In her honor, therefore, I would like to name the Dowd Rule. To wit: No one who thinks George W. Bush is stupid is as smart as George W. Bush.

Bob Costas--A Nation Turns Its Lonely Eyes To You

Of all the hatreds in the world, the one (and only one) I've never understood is anti-Bob Costasism. It's rampant within my own social circle and prevalent within the larger society too. Back in the days when when Costas used to do baseball play-by-play I always looked forward to his broadcasts. He had a solid mastery of the English language, knew how to use it for the purpose of description (a lost art among current broadcasters) and he endeavored to use his knowledge of baseball history, and of history in general, to help him tell the story of a baseball game. Not always succeeding, but usually he did. His delivery was smooth, it had a recognizable meter and flow, and his lexicon was relatively free of cliché and gross exaggeration. He reminded me of a young Vin Scully (who in turn reminded many of the WWII generation of a young Red Barber). John Miller, the current SF Giants broadcaster and the play-by-play man for the Oakland-Twins ALDS series' games in Oakland has a very similar style and delivery too.

NBC used to pair Costas with Bob Uecker, and listening to them was like listening to a classic comedy team from the 50's, with Costas assuming the role of the unflappable, nonplussed, Bud Abbot-like straight man and Eucker acting as the foolish and outrageous Lou Costello-esque clown. It was funny and interesting and moved the game along in a sprightly manner, even if the action on the field was lackluster. Contrast this with the bombast and mindless chattering of characters such as Joe Garagiola or John Gordon or Steve Lyons and the true quality of a Costas call is clear.

I'm not sure what the source of anti-Costasism is, but like all irrational hatreds, it's probably based in one of the deadly sins--my guess is envy. However that doesn't mean that the hatred itself can’t be well articulated. And so it is, on the Tony Pierce blog. (Check out the posting for Tuesday, October 8). This is so well written that despite my own feelings on the matter, I'm prepared to start hating right along with this guy. (I've really got to work on my critical thinking skills or next thing you know I'll really start believing that Norm Coleman "supported a tax break for Enron!!!") Plus you've got to love the picture of Harry Carey inhaling the left half of Hillary Clinton's face with his sloppy smooch. No doubt her nasal passages are being marinated with Harry's Budweiser infused breath as well.

I Can't Standz No Moore

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the theaters comes news that Michael Moore has a new movie out titled 'Bowling For Columbine'. Apparently his recent book 'Stupid White Men' ( No link provided. There is absolutely no reason for anyone to ever buy this book. If you never knew of the existence of this book your life would be better. For further proof read James Lileks Screed on it.) wasn't enough to raise the bile in the throats of every decent rational thinking American. No, now we must be subjected to an anti-gun documentary sure to be filled with the hoariest of clichés and the weakest of arguments. Please God no Moore.

I have to admit that once upon a time I thought Moore was funny. Back in my college days I watched his first film 'Roger and Me' a number of times and found his populist critique of GM clever and daring. Why? Well, as one of the Soprano's might say I was "fookin' stoopid". The problem with being stupid is that you don't realize that you are until years later, if at all. Hell, during my college years I thought drinking a liter of cheap vodka until I threw up or passed out or both was funny. Fortunately I believe that I have grown wiser and more mature with age ( though there may be a few who would argue this point ) and no longer consider myself a member of the "fookin' stoopid" crowd. Unfortunately the same cannot be said of Michael Moore.

If you are interested and a glutton for punishment you can check out the synopsis of the movie . But if you really want to know what's going on it's probably best to hear from Moore himself and read his latest Mike's Message. Here are some choice excerpts:

I am very happy and excited to tell you that this Friday, October 11, my new film, "Bowling for Columbine," will open in New York and Los Angeles.

So buy your tickets now.

It is, I promise, the last thing the Bushies want projected on the movie screens across America this week. The film is, first and foremost, a devastating indictment of the violence that is done in our name for profit and power -- and no one, in all the advance screenings I have attended, has left the theatre with anything short of rage. I truly believe this film has the potential to rock the nation and get people energized to do something.

Yes, I'm sure the administration will spend many a sleepless night wondering how to counter this "devastating indictment". Be prepared, for the nation will shortly be rocked and people may "do something".

This is not good news for Junior and Company. Not when they are trying to drag us into another war. Not when a crazed sniper is exercising his constitutional right to own a high-powered rifle. Not when John Ashcroft is still prohibiting the FBI from looking through the gun background check files to see if any of the 19 hijackers or their associates purchased any weapons prior to 9/11 -- because THAT, we are told,
would "violate" these terrorists' sacred Second Amendment rights!

Junior? Oh yeah, 'cause of his Dad and everything. Wow now that's funny. One can only hope the movie is able to equal such sharp edged wit as Moore displays here. And if you were wondering who was really resposnsible for 9/11 you now know. The NRA. I guess it makes sense right?

Yes, I believe this movie can create a lot of havoc -- but I will need ALL of you to help me do this. Are you game?

Of course we are. I mean the whole point of making a movie is to "create a lot of havoc" isn't it? Where can I get my ticket?

Now I would like to ask you again to help me with my latest work, "Bowling for Columbine." It's a movie that many critics have already called my best film to date. They may be right. It is certainly the most provocative thing I have ever done. I have spent three years on it and, I have to say, it cuts deeper, harder and funnier that anything I have given you so far.

It's obvious that Moore does not suffer from a lack of self esteem. But can it really cut deeper, harder, and funnier than 'Canadian Bacon'?

The movie opens this Friday in New York and Los Angeles, and then in 8 more cities next week. How it does in these first ten cities will determine whether or not the rest of the country gets to see it. That is the nutty way our films are released. If it doesn't have a big opening weekend, you can kiss the film good-bye. Therefore, this weekend, this film must be seen by millions of Americans. Can you help me make that happen?

In other words can you help me make millions by shelling out $8 for a movie ticket?

"Bowling for Columbine" is not a film simply about guns or school shootings. That is only the starting point for my 2-hour journey into the dark soul of a country that is both victim and master of an enormous amount of violence, both at home and around the world. With this movie I have broadened my canvas to paint a portrait of our nation at the beginning of the 21st century, a nation that seems hell-bent on killing first and asking questions later. It is a movie about the state sponsored acts of violence and terrorism against our own poor, and how we have created a culture of fear that is based on the racial dilemma we continue to ignore. And it's a devastating comedy.

You see, Michael is so much more than merely a movie director. He's an artist. And I don't know about you but what could be funnier than a look at the violence, terrorism, and racism perpetrated by the American government against it's own people? I'm cracking up just thinking about it. Just in case the critics might miss it Moore helpfully points out that his film is a "devastating comedy". Devastating must be the word of the day for him. Good thing he can be so objective about his work.

This film is going to upset some pretty big apple carts. No film has EVER said the things I am saying in "Bowling for Columbine." I expect to be attacked. I expect certain theatres will not show it for fear of retribution. I expect that this movie will be a bitter pill for many to swallow.

Okay the arrogance of this prick is starting to get to me. Exactly what "big apple carts" are going to be upset here anyway? His delusions of grandeur are laughable. Notice the prevalence of the word I in his writing. And he's already clamoring for martyr status before anyone has even thought about picking up a stone.

This is why I need your help. Movies live or die based on what happens at the box office the first weekend of its release. I need you, if you live in the New York or L.A. area, to go see "Bowling for Columbine" this Friday and Saturday -- and take as many family members and friends with you as possible. I guarantee you will not be disappointed -- and you may just see one of the best films of the year.

And then buy my book, feed my dog, and take out my trash. Please make as much money for me as you possibly can. The inflated ego of this guy is just sickening.

The hate mail, the threats, the promises of retribution have already started to roll in to the distributor of this movie, United Artists. They are not backing down. But how long will this last? I need all of you in the New York tri-state and southern California areas to go see "Bowling for Columbine" THIS weekend -- the rest of you can see it in a couple of weeks when it comes to your town. A strong opening not only means that the rest of America will see this film, it means that a good number of people who see it are going to leave the film angry enough to get active and get involved. If it does poorly, I will have a difficult time finding the funding for the movie I want to make next -- a film about 9/11 and how Bush is using that tragic day as a cover for his right-wing agenda.

Another shameless plug, actually more like a shameless plea to buy movie tickets. What a sad day it will be for America if Moore is unable to make his next "devastatingly funny" film on 9/11. How will the Republic survive?

Don't let that happen. Don't let the NRA have one more success by stopping the wider distribution of this movie. And, together, let us not remain silent in our opposition to Bush's phony war against Iraq.

Ahhh... yes if all else fails invoke the specter of the evil NRA. If you don't go see this movie then the NRA wins. What good lefty could refuse this call to duty? I am a bit confused on the "Bush's phony war against Iraq" line. Is it phony because there is no war right now? Or does he mean "phony" in that the war-which actually hasn't started-is somehow illegitimate? Perhaps another "devastatingly funny" film is in the works to clear this matter up. Or maybe 'Bowling for Columbine' will be crushed by the the vast right wing conspiracy led by the oppressive Bush administration and Michael Moore will be forced to peddle his biting insights elsewhere. One can only hope. No Moore, no mas.

Our Way Or The Highway

Steve Berg's October 15th editorial '12 reasons why Minnesota lags behind' is a perfect example of the Star Tribune's Editorial board "our way or the highway" attitude on transportation issues. Although they claim to want an open debate on the matter they have shown time and again that if you oppose their viewpoints you will be branded as part of the problem.

Berg uses the Republican Party's opposition to the Hiawatha light rail line to claim that the party is against all rail options and only supports roads. If a viable, economical, and efficient rail plan was proposed that would actually ease congestion I am certain that Republicans would be in favor of it. Just because you oppose a bad rail plan does not mean that you are opposed to all rail plans.

He then goes on to complain that making progress is difficult when the debate is driven by "groups of self-interest". I'm sure that Berg and the rest of the editorial board would rather that the Star Tribune control the discussion thereby limiting real debate and making it much easier to achieve their goals. Those pesky "groups of self-interest" whose influence Berg so laments are made up of citizens who have joined together to make their opinions heard. They are an integral part of our democracy despite the media elites distaste for them.

If us Minnesotans would quite being so difficult and just let the Star Tribune editorial board make transportation decisions for us we'd be much better of. Just ask them.

What if Zogby Was One of Us?

Perhaps Wellstone's lead in the polls is an abberation after all. None other than the sponsor of the Zogby poll himself, John Zogby, says that if the election were held today Norm Coleman would beat Paul Wellstone. As quoted in the Washington Times:

"If the election were held today, the Republicans would pick up Missouri, South Dakota and Minnesota," Mr. Zogby said. [In Minnesota] Democratic Sen. Paul Wellstone — who trailed by 6 percentage points in the Zogby poll last month — shows a 9-point lead over Republican Norm Coleman, the former St. Paul mayor. Mr. Zogby stands by his latest poll but still thinks Mr. Coleman has the edge because "only 45 percent [of respondents] say Wellstone deserves re-election. That number and the fact that less than 50 percent say they will vote for him is bad news for any incumbent. Voters are saying they want someone new in the Senate, and the burden on Coleman now is to show he is the new someone they want," Mr. Zogby said.

Now that's getting behind the music on polling results. He's predicting the opposite result of the horserace question (one showing a statistically significant difference no less), based on an understanding of the context and the backgrounding data. As someone in the business of data interpretation myself, I can testify that's a steely-eyed analysis, taken to a level not usually seen in the biz. And it's a brave stance too, given the public nature of his reports and the high stakes risk of being proven wrong. His sophisticated analysis and subtle interpretation will likely be misinterpretated by many (like me?) and he'll be easy to dismiss as unreliable by those paying only superficial attention to these results and his comments. "Those" being the likes Don Shelby, Paul Magers, and whoever anchors at Channel 5 these days (Barry ZeVan? Russel Schimooka? Sunny Haus?). By the way, Zogby is a self professed Democrat, yet both parties have availed themselves of his services, he's that good.

GW Hardly the First to Question the Value of the U.N.

Last night while plowing through the my latest reading project, Six Days of War: June 1967 and the Making of the Modern Middle East, a book I highly recommend to anyone interested in the politics of the Middle East (and who isn't!), I came across a quote from LBJ in which he described the U.N. as "a zero" and explained to an aide that if Israel's hopes for peace rested with the U.N. then he could not blame them for striking their enemies preemptively.

The notion today that the Bush administration's reluctance to rely on the U.N. in shaping American decisions abroad is somehow a dangerous departure from fifty plus years of established American relations with the U.N. is ridiculous. Every adminstration from Truman through Clinton has acted through the United Nations when such action would benefit the United States (or at least cause it no harm) but has not hestitated to circumvent the world body when they felt that U.S. strategic interests were at stake.

Who Are The Ad Wizards Who Came Up With This Guy?

Disturbingly, the latest poll from Zogby (one of the pollsters I most respect) shows Wellstone pulling away from Norm Coleman in the race for U.S. Senate, at a level of 46% - 37%. This effectively reverses a previous trend toward Coleman, most recently shown in mid-September where the Zogby poll showed a Coleman lead of 48% - 41%.

If this movement in the electorate is true, it doesn't bode well for those us trying to get Wellstone back to his true calling, that of poisoning the minds of the students in his classes against their country and to stirring up trouble at wildcat meat packer strikes. Such a deficit this late in the game is not easily overcome.

It's been well documented that Wellstone has never received more than 50% of the vote in Minnesota. I think it's fair to say that a person with such an abrasive personality and radical ideology could never attain a mandate from the Minnesota electorate and he's only able to get even 50% by energizing his base to a n extreme degree. Inside sources from the elections staff in Ramsey county say that Wellstone is expending an unprecedented effort to get out the college student vote. He's going so far as establishing a campaign presence on every floor of each residence hall on metro area campuses with a corresponding "floor captain" who will be tasked with getting every single person to the polls. He's no doubt counting on the established immaturity and pliability of student voters, their misguided sense of rebellion (rock the vote indeed) and his fetishization of education and promises of more and more aid to get them to support him (and they will).

Even given this, it continues to dumbfound me is that he Wellstone can attain even 50% of the vote. Watching his performance in the debate against Coleman last Friday night, it should be clear to any reasonable observer that the guy is fundamentally an arrogant, antagonistic, little bully. As an example, he filibustered every question asked of him for an interminable amount of time and whenever Coleman would reasonably and politely try to break in, to respond to some unsubstantiated slur, Wellstone would stab at him with his index finger and shout angrily "Don't interrupt me!" and then proceed with trying to convince Grandma that her Social Security benefits were about to be limited to a cardboard refrigerator box and a 2 for 1 coupon on Alpo. Then, when Coleman was responding to a separate question, Wellstone would butt in and begin shouting him down within 30 seconds. This happened over and over--behavior that would be considered unacceptable in the Monday morning staff meetings at even the most unsophisticated, slack ass offices in town (think Tires Plus or the Star Tribune editorial board). Any competent, reasonable boss would put an end to it in good order with some "persuasive" one-on-one counseling and failing that, the lead pipe. Yet Wellstone suffers absolutely no electoral sanction for his childish and counter productive behavior

I guess the lesson learned is that it doesn't matter if a candidate is antisocial and annoying as long as you're convinced the little prick is on your side. (I woudn't really know, since I can't think of a single Republican who is prone to act this way. In fact, I suspect it would be impossible for someone of such retarded social development to attain any influence within the institutional structure of the GOP). If your voting choice is predicated on selecting the candidate who will "fight for you"--that is, the one who will make sure you're a net gainer in the societal redistribution of wealth--then it doesn't matter if he's beneath contempt as a human being. I think that adequately describes the calculus of most hardcore Democratic voters.

But what about these so-called swing voters? Those that don't make up their mind until late in the game and really don't have any ideology to base their electoral choices on. Those who base their vote on their opinion of the man and not the party? Shouldn't Wellstone’s behavior be a turn off to these people? If it is, there's hope that more displays of Wellstone's true personality could yet turn the balance. More commercials like the one that shows Wellstone hopping up and down and screaming during a speech at a labor rally would help.

Coleman also needs to hammer away at Wellstone's promise to only serve two terms. I personally don't think it is a significant issue (what's that compared to his permanent stance for more taxation, less defense spending, and fewer individual rights?)--yet some observers believe it's a wedge issue. Most interestingly, his own former advertising guru, Bill Hillsman thinks this issue is critical to Wellstone's swing vote. His definition of the "swing vote" and why Wellstone will have trouble in getting them back, as quoted in this month’s issue of The Rake:

"They were mostly guys, living up in places like Anoka. You'd ask these guys, "Why do you vote for Wellstone? You don't agree with him on a single thing." And they'd scuff their shoes and look at the dirt and say, "I think he's honest. I think he's got integrity. And there ought to be one son-of-a-bitch like that in the United States Senate." And that's his swing vote. He's not going to get them this time."

What Wellstone doesn't understand, because he's too caught up in Washington, is that the two-term pledge he made is a deal-breaker with these people. These are people he made a promise to--I mean, I was there when he made it, time after time. He hated being called a professor because Boschwitz was calling him that to paint him as ivory tower, out of touch. So he said, "No, I'm a teacher. And after I serve my two terms in the Senate, I'm gonna come back to Minnesota and I'm gonna teach. And it's not going to be at Carleton or any other private school, it's not going to be at the University of Minnesota, it's going to be in the community colleges." Well, that's these guys' kids—that's his swing voter's family. That's where they go to school. That was a deal to them, and now he's reneged on that deal.

Amen brother.

Go Twins (and Take the Vikings With You)

By any standard, the Twins season was a success. Their run to the American League Championship Series exceeded the expectations of their fans, the baseball experts, and also exceeded their own skill levels. Alas, the weaknesses inherent in the team were finally exposed through the crucible of playing the elite of the American League for 10 straight games.

Perhaps Alex Rodriguez's recent comments that the Twins would have ended up in last place if they had been in the AL West contained more truth than Minnesotans were initially prepared to acknowledge. It was an interesting and fun season of baseball, but the team's immolation in Anaheim this weekend was difficult to watch (in a slow motion, car accident sort of way).

They could not string together any clutch hits and the bullpen seemed unprepared, consistently throwing exactly the wrong pitch to the wrong guy at the wrong time. They were in a terrible slump.

During the season they could always count on the Tigers or Royals rolling into town to break them out of it. But in the playoffs that simply doesn't occur and down they went.

The good thing about a team stinking out the joint, game after game, is that you become very eager to see them take 5 months off--and that's where I am now, relieved that they're gone. And with baseball's departure from my consciousness, and the Vikings non-appearance, I can devote my time to more productive pursuits (Timberwolves, Gophers' basketball, Real World-Road Rules Challenge.)

Chronicler of 'The Greatest Generation' Moves Into the Wild Blue

Sad news yesterday of the passing of historian/author Dr. Stephen E. Ambrose. Ambrose was probably more responsible than any other for the renewed interest in World War II in recent years through his many popular books (The Wild Blue, The Good Fight, Citizen Soldiers, D-Day, Band of Brothers, Pegasus Bridge) and his founding of the National D-Day Museum in New Orleans. Ambrose was particularly interested in the stories of the individual American soldiers, sailors, and airmen and focused his work on their recollections. Last year he was stung by allegations of plagiarism and he has been criticized for "simplifying and selling history" by other "more serious" historians. While I have only read two of his books (Band of Brothers and Citizen Soldiers) I found them to be engaging and entertaining and anyone able to broaden the audience for history should be lauded. RIP.

Savard Smoked Em'

Saint Paul's remarks on smoking and professionial athletes immediately brought Dennis Savard to mind. The flashy center played for the Chicago Black Hawks in the '80s when a heated rivalry existed between my dearly departed Minnesota North Stars and his club.

Many was the night when Savard broke my young heart, using his blazing speed and lighting quick spin moves to blow by the North Star defense and light the lamp behind Beupre or Meloche. I was later stunned to learn that Dennis not only enjoyed a post game heater or two but that he actually liked to puff a couple of nails between periods during games. Kent Hrbek smoking and drinking is one thing, I mean how much wind do you really need to play first base? But an all star NHL center? Now that was a man's man.