The Warmest Year On Record (in the Northern Hemisphere, at least since records began being kept in the 1860s)

It was exactly one year ago today that I challenged you all to help make 2005 a year to remember.

From the Fraters Libertas archives (12/16/04):

Let's all start by driving alone...everywhere. This carpooling and public transit nonsense ain't going to jack up those temperatures. We need cars on the road, and fast...the bigger the better, too. All of that air out there isn't going to pollute itself!

I know it's going to be difficult, but with a little hard work and dedication from each and every one of you out there, we can all help make 2005 be the best year ever.

Well, the results are in and they are official. Calendar year 2005 has been declared "The Warmest Year On Record (in the Northern Hemisphere, at least since records began being kept in the 1860s)".

I can't even begin to voice my gratitude to all of you out there who made this title a reality. Your wanton SUV travel, your reckless fuel usage and your callous disregard for our precious Mother Earth made it all possible. A hearty "Woo-Hoo" goes out to all of you.

More importantly, the designation of 2005 as "The Warmest Year On Record (in the Northern Hemisphere, at least since records began being kept in the 1860s)" finally exposes the year 1998 for the fraud it always was. I never trusted that little bastard.

As we celebrate, we must not let this victory cloud our vision of the future. 2005 may be "The Warmest Year On Record (in the Northern Hemisphere, at least since records began being kept in the 1860s)", but 2006 could be even better.

Let's keep reaching for the stars, people.

Free Elder!

Now that the plug has finally been pulled on the Tookie Williams Redemption Show & Circus, the we-care-more-than-you celebrities (Snoop Dogg, Jamie Foxx, Mike Farrell, etc.), the angst-ridden activists, and the easily manipulated media will be looking for their next cause celebre. Fortunately, they didn't have to wait long.

Yesterday, in a raw display of the naked abuse of power, privilege, and government intrusion in the personal life of a citizen far worse than the feverish imaginations of opponents of The Patriot Act could ever envision, Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty, cajoled by radical right-wing shock jock and notorious GOP operative Hugh Hewitt, imposed an illegal, unconstitutional, and unconscionable prohibition that tramples civil liberties under a hob-nailed boot and threatens to dismantle the foundations of freedom that this great nation was founded upon:

HH: That's the guy. Governor, he is subject to my jurisdiction, as you've appointed me the Commissioner of Hockey. And I have twice, now, attempted to ban him from all ice, both man-made and natural, because of the danger he presents to others. Will you agree to issue such a proclamation, that he is, in fact, off of the ice permanently?

TP: I think a ban, a lifetime ban without the possibility of reinstatement is the only appropriate course here, Hugh. It's really in the interest of public safety, and I think, really, protecting him from himself. So again, I think another loving suggestion by Hugh Hewitt.

For a Republican politician facing a tough reelection campaign and a possible challenge from within his own party, it seems like a dangerous move for the Governor to so rashly unleash the hounds of governmental tyranny on a citizen of unquestioned virtue who has long stood by his side in the political trenches. It's bad enough that he had the audacity to betray the trust of the good people of Minnesota by outsourcing the job of Hockey Commissioner to a klutzy Californian who thinks that icing is the yummy stuff that he licks off the dozen Hostess Cupcakes that he inhales each day. This latest outrage simply will not sit well with the voters and hockey fans of Minnesota.

For I will skate. Governor "Bull" Pawlenty can dispatch his truncheon-wielding hired goons, his attack dogs, and his water hoses to indoor arenas and outdoor ice rinks throughout the state, but I will remain defiant and unbowed. I will not take a seat at the back of the skating bus Governor. I will stand up to you and your Gestapo state tactics and I will emerge victorious. Skate free or die.

(More from Sisyphus with the Top 11 Upcoming Hugh Hewitt Libels and Hammerswing75.)

Is This Thing On?

As a comedian, Tim Pawlenty makes a great governor. Evidence provided by this attempt to tickle funny bones by mocking the name of this august blog on yesterday's Hugh Hewitt show:

Timmy

Don't quit your day job T-Paw.

Poll Shows Paul Martin Heading To Victory In Canadian Election

Not that Paul Martin. This Paul Martin. This could be just what Canada needs. A leader to teach them the right way to play hockey. The American Way.

Thanks to all who voted in our poll asking "Who will emerge as Prime Minister after next month's federal election in Canada?" The correct answer of course is "Who cares?" but since we knew that would be the easy winner, we elected to exclude that as a choice.

Look for our next poll soon. Rumor has it that it will feature a Christmas theme.

Really Making A Difference

Great editorial opinion piece in yesterday's Wall Street Journal by Matt Pottinger, who recently left his job at the Journal to join the US Marines. Why would a thirty-one year old man give up a position as a reporter at the best newspaper in the land to enlist in the military? Why I gave up journalism to join the Marines (available to all):

When people ask why I recently left The Wall Street Journal to join the Marines, I usually have a short answer. It felt like the time had come to stop reporting events and get more directly involved. But that's not the whole answer, and how I got to this point wasn't a straight line.

But why the Marines?

A year ago, I was at my sister's house using her husband's laptop when I came across a video of an American in Iraq being beheaded by Abu Musab al-Zarqawi. The details are beyond description here; let's just say it was obscene. At first I admit I felt a touch of the terror they wanted me to feel, but then I felt the anger they didn't. We often talk about how our policies are radicalizing young men in the Middle East to become our enemies, but rarely do we talk about how their actions are radicalizing us. In a brief moment of revulsion, sitting there in that living room, I became their blowback.

The entire piece is well deserving of a read.

Better Free Than Safe

It appears (if early reports are to believed) that the Iraqi people have once again turned out in large numbers to demonstrate their desire for political freedom despite the dangers and inconvenience involved in voting. Meanwhile, the drumbeat from many of the usual suspects on the Left continues that either:

a. It's impossible to say if the Iraqis are better off than there were three years ago

or

b. They most certainly are NOT better off than they were under the rule of Saddam Hussein and the Baath Party

To back up the notion that the Iraqis were better off living in a Baathist tyranny, statistics are usually cited on the number of Iraqis killed in the war, the economic conditions in Iraq, how many hours a day the power is on in Baghdad, the number of children in school, the literacy rate, etc. They're often same sort of "standard of living" stats that these folks love to reference when talking about how Sweden is superior to the United States or how Cuba is a really swell place to live despite the bad rap that Fidel's regime has gotten.

The problem with using such measuring sticks is that without freedom they're meaningless. What good does is it to be literate if you don't have the freedom to choose what to read? What's the value of health and longevity if you don't have the freedom to decide what you want to do with your life? What's the value of having a job if that job is a life-long occupation chosen for you by the government?

Freedom is messy, complicated, unruly, loud, and sometimes chaotic, violent, and dangerous. Tyranny is often organized, simple, orderly, quiet, and safe (at least for those who keep their head in the yoke). There isn't a lot of complaining, protesting, or political bickering. The leaders don't have to concern themselves with approval ratings. The prisons, torture chambers, and mass graves are kept out of sight. The courts run smoothly and efficiently (The People's Revolutionary Court finds you guilty. Next!). The government statistics on unemployment, child care, women's rights, infant mortality, literacy, poverty, housing, and universal health care make the Noam Chomsky crowd drool with envy.

But without freedom, none of it means a damn. I would choose dangerous freedom over safe tyranny any day. And most of the Iraqi people appear to feel the same way.

It's Always Fun Until The Third-Chair Cellist Chokes On His Own Vomit

The Minnesota Orchestra Presents "The Music of Led Zeppelin: A Rock Symphony":

Bridging the gulf between rock n' roll and classical music, the Minnesota Orchestra joins singer Randy Jackson and an amplified rock band to capture the music of 70's rock legends, Led Zeppelin. Delivering a note-for-note interpretation, vocalist Randy Jackson (lead singer of the rock band Zebra) acts as a window between the audience and reworked material. Don't miss this incredible opportunity to hear the music of Led Zeppelin performed one night only, in concert with the spectacular sound of the Minnesota Orchestra!

You know, if you like that one, I got more...what are you looking for? Romance? Comedy? Adventure?...Erotica?

Last night, an episode of That '70s Show aired called Fun It:

Bored with hanging around in the basement all the time, the gang looks for some fun elsewhere; Randy takes them to a local burger place where they have a lot of problems with the manager. Seeking revenge for being treated badly, Randy steals the mascot for the restaurant, Fatso the Clown. This puts him in the gang's good books, until things go horribly wrong.

Stealing a ceramic clown mascot from a fast food joint and having things go horribly wrong? That hits close to home. A little TOO close to home. Anybody know a good intellectual property attorney?

This Is An Issue We As A Town Are Strong Enough To Ignore

R.T. Rybak is an idiot. The StarTribune reports on the Minneapolis mayor's response to Hennepin County's rollback of the smoking ban:

"I think the county's action was harmful," said Rybak, who said he would be open to meeting with the bar owners. "You shouldn't abruptly change course for small businesses. The worst thing you can do to small business is to have government step in, and then step in another way, and step in another way, and ask businesses to do a pirouette every year or so."

First of all, that last Rybak quote is about 22 words too long. If he'd have stopped talking right there I'd be in total agreement with him (a rarity, indeed).

Alas, the chucklehead had to continue flapping his lips with the whole government two-step nonsense. Tell me, R.T., if one of those steps by the government happens to place a gigantic boot on the throats of small business owners, then isn't abruptly changing course exactly what should be done?

To all the bar owners in Minneapolis, all I can say is "Good luck." You're sure going to need it with this guy at City Hall playing mayor.

It Ain't Masonry, But It's Still A Challenge

When it comes to home repairs, I've never been much of a "do-it-yourself" kind of guy. I can usually find a way to take the simplest of tasks and turn it in to a full blown disaster.

A case in point was my rather feeble attempt at hanging a large mirror on the wall just a few short weeks ago. After carefully measuring the mirror, marking the wall and then re-measuring the mirror, it came time for me to actually begin screwing a few hollow wall anchors into my heretofore pristine drywall. Several twists of the screwdriver later, I had a 1/4 inch diameter hole in the wall and what I feared was the beginning of an enormous pile of barely used anchors inside the wall cavity.

I managed to fix that problem with a light duty picture hanger and an empty picture frame. Not quite the dramatic effect at the top of the stairs that the mirror would have had but it sure beats looking at that hole in the wall eight times a day for the next ten years.

Given that colossal failure, you can imagine the trepidation with which I approached my next challenge...the dreaded leaky toilet. The water stains on the bathroom tile had been growing for a few weeks and I had done a very good job of ignoring them until my inner handyman (he doesn't get out much) could absolutely stand no more. I confidently told the wife that the wax ring must be shot and put her on notice that I would be heading to the hardware store the very next day for everything I needed to complete the job.

When the very next day came, I proceeded to do what any good homeowner would do. I called a guy. The guy showed up shortly thereafter, the guy fixed the toilet, I wrote the guy a check and then the guy left. I was happy. The guy was happy. My wife was happy. And, best of all, I didn't have an 30 inch diameter hole in the floor where my toilet used to be.

Yes, I've discovered the secret to home repair, folks. The checkbook. Call me foolish. Call me wasteful. Call me Ishmael, if you'd like. At least I wasn't down on all fours sticking my hand in my toilet's waste pipe. I've used that toilet. I know what has been through that pipe. I'm never...ever...going to go near that pipe.

I have a job so I can pay people who know what they're doing (and apparently don't mind the pipes) to replace my wax rings and fix my flange bolts and caulk the hell out of my toilet base. They do it because people like me can't.

Now, if I could only find an emergency picture hanging service...

A Blight On The Trade

Over at Editor and Publisher, folks are weighing in on the recent major award won by the Star Tribune's Jim Boyd and their reaction is far from positive, as is evidenced by this letter submitted by our friend Gary Larson:

Of the dark art of smear Boyd is past master. He hurls ad homimen smears with the best of the left, in a class with Dowd and Ivins on their better days. The truth-telling fellas at PowerLineblog "harass" him, he says, without explanation, but it's more than that. PowerLine in excruciating detail deconstructs Boyd's flights of partisan fancy. In short, they make him look foolish. My oh my, how that must irritate this part-time demagogue in the almighty press.

Boyd's antipathy for all things remotely conservative results in spewing vile stuff, not reasoned argument. His "exhaustive research [and] a willingness to tell truth to power," as the loony tunes award citation claims, is a crock. It fails the giggle test among legions who do not share in Boyd's leftist fantasyland.

Shame on the American Academy of Diplomacy for getting it so wrong, so ironically wrong, about Boyd, painting him as a mythic heroic figure in journalism, when he is clearly a blight on that trade, a poster boy for partisan flackery. Like Dan Rather, he is a purveyor of falsehoods when it suits his partisan purposes.

Smoke 'Em If You Got 'Em

Hennepin County approves scaled back smoking ban:

The Hennepin County commissioners on Tuesday approved an amendment to scale back parts of the smoking they enacted earlier this year.

On a 4-3 vote, the commissioners exempted traditional bars from the ban until July 2007. The county's current ordinance prohibits smoking in all indoor areas of "food establishments," including restaurants and bars.

Good news for bar owners in Hennepin County. Unless you're a bar owner in Minneapolis, Bloomington, or Golden Valley (all cities within Hennepin County) who will likely feel even more pain now:

If Hennepin County decides to exempt bars from the ban, local ordinances in Minneapolis, Bloomington and Golden Valley will remain intact.

In Bloomington, smoking is banned inside public places and workplaces, including bars and restaurants. The ordinance also prohibits smoking within 25 feet of entrances, exits, open windows and ventilation intakes of public places and workplaces. Restaurants may designate up to one-half of outdoor seating capacity as permitted smoking areas.

In Golden Valley, smoking is banned in both indoor and outdoor dining areas of liquor and food establishments, within 25 feet of entrances, exits, open windows, and ventilation intakes of public places and workplaces, within 25 feet of any outdoor dining area, and in public parks and recreation facilities.

In Minneapolis, smoking is banned in liquor and food establishments, bowling alleys and pool and billiard halls.

In Golden Valley, sister city to Pyongyang, merely saying the word "smoke" is prohibited within city limits.

The Minnesota Partnership for Action Against Tobacco has spent $100,000 on print advertisements in favor of the Hennepin County smoking ban.

And still lost. This is a small victory, but a victory nonetheless.