Tuesday, April 20, 2004

The Homeless Network Responds To JB

Being outspokenly anti-homeless for many years now, I've learned to deal with the slings and arrows shot my way from various lefties as I've made my positions on the pathetic dregs known. "Heartless" is the one I probably hear the most from the there-but-for-the-grace-of-God-go-I crowd. "Hateful" is another one of their faves for expressing the belief that human beings should not live like beasts.

Yup, middle class lefty loons have called me many things, but I had never been verbally assaulted by a homeless. Until this weekend.

As I made my way through the streets of San Francisco, they were hard to ignore. On every street corner there were dozens of the urine-reeking creatures with palms outstretched, eyes half closed and souls ripe for Satan's pickings.

And these are not your polite homeless. Nope, these homeless will bite back if they feel you COULD have given them a dime, but just didn't want to. Personally, I like to rattle the change in my pocket as I pass, often inciting obscenities, which are also often racially tinged.

Based on the amount of the abuse I was experiencing, I began to wonder if word had gotten out of my appearance in town and if it was payback time for ol' JB. My theory was proven correct when I saw a homeless lying on a tarp on the sidewalk actually using a cell phone (true story, true story).
I'm A Dedicated Follower Of Fashion

Moscow based men's wear company Enton has unveiled their new "suicide bomber" line of clothing.

The simulated explosive vest and belt combo are optional.

Monday, April 19, 2004

Anyway, I Ain't Got No Place Else To Go

Well, the Great Bus Strike of 2004 has ended. Today, the Twin Cities' Metro Transit buses were back on the road belching black exhaust, clogging up traffic and generally being a nuisance to the 90% of the population that has never and will never ride one anywhere.

I'd like to commemorate the blessed event with just one more of the many "Rider Stories" featured in last week's City Pages.

John, a 42 year old "salesperson", waxes poetic about the joys of riding the bus:

It's safer than driving, especially in winter/rain, or when I'm drunk.

There you have it. Metro Transit...the Twin Cities' leader in transporting drunks since 1925.
Worst Review Ever

As heard tonight on the sidewalk in front of the Best Steak House on University and Snelling, shouted with incredulity by a young woman in response to something said by the young man accompanying her out the door:

"You do NOT make $30,000 a year managing this sh*t hole restaurant!"

Connoisseurs of the cuisine of the Midway - bon appetit!
It Just Doesn't Get Any Better...

Stanley Cup Playoffs. Boston and Montreal. Game Seven. Scored tied 0-0 headed to the third. How's that whole no cable thing working out for you again JB?
Will Richie Crack Corn?

National Review's Rich Lowry, who wussily ducked a challenge to fight Al Franken, has apparently found an opponent more to his liking in David Corn from The Nation. The two will square off this Thursday in a political debate at the University of St. Thomas in St. Paul at 7:30pm.

Two political commentators who have no qualms about telling you what’s on their minds will square off in a liberal vs. conservative debate. Addressing a host of hot-button topics will be David Corn, Washington editor of The Nation, and conservative journalist Richard Lowry, a syndicated columnist and editor of National Review. Titled ''Face-Off: David Corn and Rich Lowry,'' the debate will cover some of today’s most contentious topics: U.S. involvement in Iraq; energy and the environment; employment, Social Security and the economy; affirmative action in higher education; and same-sex marriage. Moderating the debate will be Dave Nimmer, a former journalist with the Minneapolis Star and WCCO television, and a member of the Journalism and Mass Communication Department at St. Thomas.

It promises to be a no holds barred verbal barroom browel, as Hugh might say. We strongly encourage readers in the Twin Cities to attend the event and cheer Lowry on as he takes Corn out behind the woodshed and delivers a rhetorical thrashing he won't soon forget. Now if he only had the stones to throw down with Al...

UPDATE: Eagle eyed Darryl e-mails to point out that the debate announcement is not exactly fair and balanced:

"Addressing a host of hot-button topics will be David Corn, Washington editor of The Nation, and conservative journalist Richard Lowry, a syndicated columnist and editor of National Review."

Liberals are never "liberal", they's just reg'lar folks! Not like them nasty c-o-n-s-e-r-v-a-t-i-v-e-s!

Basic Composition

Amid the controversy of the nomination of Cheri Pierson Yecke as MN Education Commissioner, the Pioneer Press delves into her background and digs up some 12 year old essays, uncovering the shocking truth:

To this day, those writings provide a telling glimpse into Yecke's philosophy and her style in dealing with school issues.

She mixes personal anecdotes with selective references to research favorable to her side. She takes an extreme example from her opponent's argument and hammers it hard.


Wait a minute here. In an attempt to persuade, she selectively references research favorable to her side? Then criticizes “extreme” examples from her opponents arguments as invalid? With a style like that, you’d almost think Ms. Yecke was a political appointee or something and not the divinely ordained grand oracle of objective truth and balance in social science research.

Well, if the MN Senate rejects her candidacy, I must say she at least has a bright future in blogging. Or perhaps newspaper reporting? I think the above style would work well in, for example, doing a news article with the agenda of trying to discredit a political appointee as unfit for service by selectively excerpting from three essays she wrote 12 years ago and hammering them hard as extreme and then generalizing them as indicative of her entire career while at the same time as not putting her alleged transgressions in context with the styles of political appointees from previous administrations. At least that should be good enough to work for the Pioneer Press.

But folks, you may want to think twice before blindly agreeing with me on this issue. As Ms Yecke wrote 12 years ago about the South Washington County School District ...

”Hard work and self-discipline are looked down upon, and status is often achieved by non-performance,'' Yecke wrote. "The prevailing attitude among many students is 'Why study? They can't fail me so who cares?' ''

At this point I’m forced to admit that I am a graduate of that school system (the formerly prestigious Neil A. Armstrong Elementary in Cottage Grove, class of ’81). Although my years there predate Ms. Yecke’s experience and the district’s outcome based education experiment, if she ever needs me to testify on her behalf, I’d be happy to come. I promise to be as lazy and undisciplined as she needs me to be to prove her case. Yes, I think I can fake that for a few hours.

Sunday, April 18, 2004

A Sunday Stroll Through The Star Tribune

Just in case there were any second thoughts about my decision to dump the Minneapolis Star Tribune, this Sunday’s edition went a long way to dispelling them. Let’s take a walk through the pages shall we?

Our first stop is the Metro section. Doug Grow kicks things off with the story on a vacant lot in north Minneapolis. What had once been a crack house was razed by the city. Neighbors started a community garden in the empty lot in 1993 and have tended it since then. Now the county wants to sell the property off in hopes that it an affordable house will be built on the lot. Sounds like a good idea right?

Not to the gardeners. They want the city to leave the lot as is so they can keep “their” garden, affordable housing be damned. Instead of NIMBY we have NIMG (not in my garden). Thankfully the authorities aren’t buying the sob song that these botanical squatters are selling and the property will be sold. Which allows Grow to end his column with a tug at the heartstrings that shows just how much he cares about Doug’s People:

"Why don't they understand?" Leathers asked, a tear in her eye.

Staying in the Metro neighborhood beat, we come across the latest offering by Nick Coleman:

Minnesota might as well be Kansas for many of us. We may still have 10,000 lakes, but they are off limits to a lot of us. Any innocent out there still harboring nostalgic notions about the affordability of lakeshore living here is stuck in the '80s.

From Brainerd, where cabins are being gobbled up three and four at a time to make way for huge new homes, to the shores of White Bear and Minnetonka, the squire-ification of Minnesota is speeding up.

Modern-day barons with new fortunes are putting together parcels of lakeshore to forge big estates and build humongous palaces worthy of a sultan. I have no agenda here: I just think we ought to recognize what's happening.


No agenda here? Come on Nick don’t sell yourself short. You have an agenda. It’s called fanning the flames of class envy. His entire column is nothing but jealous carping about how much lake homes cost in Minnesota.

Some of us might view the news of raising prices in lake homes as a positive. After all in order to afford these pricey waterside abodes people must be taking home some decent ching. If people can buy cabins up North in addition to their homes here, it’s a sign of affluence. Which means that the local economy might not be on the verge of a Depression, as many of those who share Nick’ political viewpoint seem to believe.

Would Nick be happier if the real estate bubble burst and we were witnessing a rapid deflation of lakeside (and all other) realty prices? I wouldn’t bet against it.

One final point has to be made. I grew up in a middle class neighborhood not too far from the shores of Lake Minnetonka. If Nick seriously believes that property on Lake Minnetonka was “affordable” back in the 80’s he’s delusional. The premium that such property currently commands is higher today than in the past, but there always been a such a premium.

Let’s check out the Opinion/Editorial pages next. Where we find not one, not two, but THREE pieces singing the praises of higher taxes.

Eric Dregni gets the ball rolling with a paean to the glories of Norway called Where taxes are high and the citizens love it:

'Welfare state' may be dirty words in English, but the equivalent Velferdsstaten inspires nationalist pride in Norway. "It's the system we have chosen," a teacher of Norwegian in Trondheim told me, "and I'm happy to pay the taxes for it.''

I'd never met anyone who was happy for taxes, but the benefits are soon clear. Death and taxes may be unavoidable, but in Norway at least you get your health care, higher education and pension provided by the government, and you won't be out on the street if you lose your job. Norway's system offers its citizens a degree of stability and certainty unheard of in the United States. Plus, families receive a monthly allotment for each child of 972 kroner (about $145), almost-free day care, and mothers are allowed 42 weeks of paid maternity leave -- or a whole year at 80 percent of wages.

Because of these social services and redistribution of wealth, Norway can boast the highest quality of life of any nation for the last few years. The highest cost of living paired with the highest quality of life hardly makes for an extravagant lifestyle, however.

An American friend living in Oslo put it this way: "It's not that we buy more things or have more things, it's that we are guaranteed a high standard of living. We don't have two cars, we take the bus, and we can probably count the number of times that we go out to eat."


Here we go again. If we could only be more like ______(insert name of some European socialist paradise) life would be perfect. At least this is an honest look at what many on the left wish for us. No one has too much, but everyone gets something, whether earned or not. Again it’s the old trade off: freedom vs. security, in this case economic.

If you like the Norwegian system, I suggest you move to Norway. As for me, I like buying more things, having two cars, and going out to eat countless times.

Eric obviously hasn’t been reading the Strib much if he says he never met anyone who is happy for taxes. Why just today the paper features Dave Hage and Lori Sturdevant beating the drum, and arguing that the state is headed to hell in a hand basket if we don’t come to our senses and agree pay more. Tax me please. Tax me again. More, more, yes, yes, ohhhhh…

Our stroll ends in the Strib’s Variety section. The Variety title refers to the variety of methods the paper uses to hammer home political messages in a section of the paper one would not typically associate with such views.

Today the whole front page of the Variety section is dedicated to the first in a five part series called Immigrants The New Activists. It’s a profile of how some recent immigrants (no distinction is usually made between illegal and legal) have bought in to the notion of victim hood being peddled by the left. It favorably compares the actions of these activists with the women’s suffrage and civil rights movements of the past. The words “racism” and “social justice” are ubiquitous, and of course we hear about cases of poor immigrants whose rights about trampled:

In many ways, Armando Blas-Garcia is a typical suburban father. He works as a shipping clerk for the Instant Web Cos., a direct-mail operation in Chanhassen. His wife, Maria Luisa German-Flores, is a cook at Mystic Lake Casino. They live with their children -- Maria, 17; Areli, 15, and George, 12 -- in a $279,000 home they own in Chanhassen.

Last Monday, Blas-Garcia spent his morning delivering two urgent packages to the Minnesota offices of U.S. Senators Mark Dayton and Norm Coleman. They contained a desperate plea to the senators to intervene on his behalf with immigration officals who in February ordered the family to leave the country when Blas-Garcia's work permit runs out May 12. Although he has worked legally in Minnesota for the past six years and taken the appropriate steps to apply for citizenship, his request was denied.


(Yes, that is how the word “official” was spelled in the Strib story. The error appeared in both in the print and online editions. Nice editing eh?)

In reality of course Bals-Garcia is not a typical suburban father. He has broken the law and is now being held responsible:

"Mr. Blas-Garcia is not a bad person," said Tim Counts, a spokesman for the Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) office in Bloomington. "He overstayed his visa, and that's illegal. He had full access to the process, and both a judge and the board of appeals said he can't stay."

And he should not stay. He had his day(s) in court and he lost. I’m sure that the sale of his $279,000 home will go a long way to easing his return to wherever he came from.

I can’t wait for four more days of having to wade through these stories to get to the comics. The end can’t come soon enough. The end of my subscription that is.

Saturday, April 17, 2004

Andrew Sullivan is Over

Never heard of the guy until shortly after 9/11/01. Via Lileks I think, I started to read Andrew Sullivan and found him to be among the most articulate advocates of what I felt about the experience my self. Horror, outrage, sadness, determination to settle the score and make sure it never happens again. Plus he said he was a Democrat leaner now understanding the importance of Republican governance in a time of foreign policy crisis. It seemed like he might be a useful example for those appeasement oriented types slow to learn the lessons of the smoking ruins in lower Manhattan and Washington DC.

Because of his writing skills on this topic, you could over look his other proclivities. Of which, most ridiculously, was his wrapping his sexual preferences in the American flag. To be clear, NOBODY cares what he does in his private life. It’s not on the radar of those reading the Internet for political analysis. But he sure cares about telling us about it. And that’s fine, blogging is an informal medium and personal insights are part of its appeal. Yes, George Will is a brilliant political analyst as well and he gets by just fine without inviting his readers into his bedroom. But if Sullivan feels the need to do that occasionally, as long as he’s reasonably discreet, who cares?

Of course the gay marriage issue has changed Sullivan’s approach from discreet to complete lunacy. Even before judges in Massachusetts and the mayor of San Francisco forced the issue on us, Sullivan was telling us that our approval of his lifestyle was a prerequisite for the health of his self esteem and a necessary human right. But the President’s remarkably mainstream and moderate stance on this issue (advocating a Constitutional Amendment for the protection of traditionally defined marriage) sent Sullivan into Rosie O’Donnel level hysterics, such as:

The president launched a war today against the civil rights of gay citizens and their families. And just as importantly, he launched a war to defile the most sacred document in the land.

And then threats to withhold his electoral support of a party he’s never supported in his life anyway:

We have no alternative but to defend ourselves and our families from this attack. And we will.

Let’s be clear on one thing. Despite his ephemeral, rhetorical support of GW Bush and the war on terror, and despite his claims of independence of mind, this is a behavioral Democrat (electorally speaking and otherwise). One who is now self righteously threatening to vote for the Democratic party in 2004 unless we accept his theory that the Constitution insists we allow gays to marry each other. That’s right, this movement is not just saying it’s a good idea for gays to marry each other. They’re saying the Constitution demands it. Just like others say it demands that children be prevented from saying the Pledge of Allegiance in public schools. No ifs, and, or buts, (or representative legislation) about it.

So Sullivan is gone from the political right, perhaps revealing that despite his September eloquence of three years ago, he never really evolved in his political philosophy at all.

You may think that’s a harsh judgment, but taken in context with, for example, his comments on The Passion of the Christ, I think it’s accurate. Read below and try to imagine anyone to the Right of Larry Flynt or Michael Moore saying it:

At the same time, the movie was to me deeply disturbing. In a word, it is pornography. ..... Toward the end, unsatisfied with showing a man flayed alive, nailed gruesomely to a cross, one eye shut from being smashed in, blood covering his entire body, Gibson has a large crow perch on the neighboring cross and peck another man's eyes out. Why? Because the porn needed yet another money shot.

Absolutely ridiculous, intentionally alienating language. Using pornographic imagery in regard to a movie much of the Church hierarchy, including our man Pope John Paul himself, embraces as a deeply spiritual experience. It’s nothing more than a vindictive hit piece by Sullivan. As if he’s attempting to crudely and gratuitously slash back at the institution at the forefront of refusing to accept his lifestyle. And remember, his hyperbolic, vile prose is aimed at a cinematic depiction of a man who many believe died for our sins. I’d hate to see the rage Sullivan would summon up over a Mel Gibson movie depicting the fate of Sodom and Gomorra.

Naively, I thought likening the suffering of Christ to a porn “money shot” was as low as someone like him could go. Turns out I was wrong, as now Andrew Sullivan shares with us his inner most thoughts about Jesse Ventura.

BEAR WATCH: Jesse Ventura just got even sexier with that beard. If that were possible.

Thanks for sharing Andrew and bringing us all into your own personal hell. Now where do I go to get my memory erased?

Friday, April 16, 2004

I Thought You Wanted To Express Yourself...

Yet another Fraters inspired blog appears on the horizon. Yes, it's Pieces of Flair featuring Brian Hipp and a host of others. Despite the fact that Brian is a Royals fan and another contributor is a Notre Dame alum, we encourage you to check it out. With a title like that how can it fail?
The Democratization of Taste in Everyday Life

My wife loves IKEA. She is counting down the days until the first IKEA store in Minneapolis-St. Paul opens near the Mall of America and is actually considering taking time off work to spend a full day there shopping once it's up and running. Like I said, she loves IKEA.

Eric Gibson has a piece on the megastore at OpinionJournal.com, where he discusses the controversy surrounding a planned IKEA store in Brooklyn and explains why IKEA is good for consumers, good for democracy, and good for America:

IKEA does for the home what Julia Child did for the kitchen--and what Martha Stewart, later, did for home crafts. It's possible to walk into an IKEA store thinking that interior decoration is little more than cinder blocks and orange crates and leave with a bedroom, living room or kitchen worthy of the toniest shelter magazine. Goodbye college dorm, hello Museum of Modern Art--an instant upgrade.

In part, IKEA does this by marrying two seemingly irreconcilable worlds: economy and high design. The consumer no longer has to choose between the unattractive and cheap, on the one hand, and the good-looking and dear. You can buy a sofa for as little as $200, but it looks as good as the top-of-the-line model that retails for just under $1,000. That you have to assemble everything when you get home doesn't seem to deter people, perhaps because it helps keep prices down.

IKEA's other secret is to take the mystery out of home decoration by walking you through it step-by-step, like Julia Child with a recipe. The catalogs have pictures of products and ensembles, but to really understand the genius of IKEA you have to go to one of their stores. The showroom is on one floor, the purchasing area on another. You follow a winding pathway through the showroom, passing all manner of installations--bedroom, kitchen, living room, office--each aimed at helping you determine what best meets your needs and, more important, what seems to go with what. It is a series of seminar rooms for those of us who did not grow up with Mies van der Rohe or Alvar Aalto in the family.

Say What?!

Frankly, I'm stunned by the news that bouts of The Gout have now been linked to alcohol consumption. I was certain that my particular struggle with this condition was due to my gluttonous appetite for exotic organ meats.

Meh...I'll fix myself another martini anyway. I do believe I'll pass on the stoat kidney garnish this time, however.