Fraters Libertas

Don Strom?

[The scene openings inside a courtroom. A defense lawyer is questioning a witness.]

Lionel Hutz: Mr. Elder, you've been the man's friend for ten months. Do you really think he could be the leader of a murderous criminal syndicate?

Elder: Well, not the leader, I mean... [cries] Oh, it's true, it's true! All the pieces fit! [bawls]

Last night, as I drove home from Keegan's Irish Pub after another triumphal trivia contest (24 out of 25 baby), a thought pierced the beery haze of victory that shrouded my consciousness. David Strom was scheduled to appear as a guest on a local late night radio show. I quickly punched in WCCO 830 (yes I admit it, it's one of my presets) and caught the tail end of the interview. David was joining the Dark One to discuss the Taxpayer League's opposition to the State Expansion of Gambling.

Since Dark Star is known as a man who likes to play the ponies (among his many vices), it wasn't that surprising that he opposed the Taxpayer League's position on the state expanding their role in the gaming game. What was surprising was the angle he took. He started by accusing David of indirectly supporting the Mafia by opposing state gambling operations and then moved on to speculation that David was actually being bankrolled by the Mob. He was obviously having a little fun with David and engaging in a bit of humorous hyperbole. David Strom, a Mafioso? C'mon.

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that Dark Star may have just stumbled upon something (other than a bar stool).

The sumptuous meals at the Strom compound flowing with fine food, the best booze, and wine?

All the digging in the garden by Margaret? Her "secret fertilizer" that produces all those gorgeous tomatoes?

The butcher knife that David "borrowed" that time they stopped by for dinner? Did he really have to cut a deer's paw out of the car's grill?

The way all the Taxpayer League employees kiss David's hand? Or that Marcus guy who's always hanging around cracking his knuckles and talking about "breaking some balls"?

The tractor trailer of cigarettes that David asked me to store until the "heat was off"?

The way David and his crew always come into Keegan's through the kitchen and get the best table in the joint?

The thumping noise and blood trail coming from David's trunk that day at the Patriot studio?

That time he asked me to drop off that horse's head in Steve Perry's bed?

Or when he accidentally shot Atomizer in the foot during a poker game after demanding that he, "Dance! Yahoo, you motherf--ker...Round up those f--king wagons!" ? Sure Atomizer was a little slow bringing the drinks that day, and he can get a little lippy at times, but did he really deserve that?

On the other hand, maybe I'm just overreacting. I'll ask David about it tonight when he and Marcus pick me for dinner. He sounded a little odd on the phone. For some reason he's very insistent that I sit in the front seat in the car. Oh well. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about.