When President Bush detailed what he termed the "axis of evil" during his state of the union speech he clearly forgot to mention one group operating within our own borders which perpetrates more evil against ordinary American civilians than even the most hardened terrorist has dreamed of. The name of this unholy organization? The NCAA.
What other word but evil can be used to describe a group that absolutely prohibits the sale of alcohol at it's hockey tournament? Last night I attended the semifinal game of the "Frozen Four" in St. Paul along with 19,244 other fans(around 19,212 were men judging by the bathroom lines) and was forced to watch the entire contest without enjoying even a solitary beer. Hockey without beer? It just ain't right. And when the University of Minnesota Golden Gophers allowed a 3-0 third period lead shrink to a one goal margin with a minute and a half left and you could cut the tension in the building with a Somali machette I damn well needed something to calm my frayed nerves.
Is is not bad enough that the NCAA forces fans to sit through endless public service announcements during breaks in the action lecturing us on the evils of gambling and drugs and touting such dubious goals as "diversity" and "youth leadership"? Must they also take away the simple pleasure of sipping a brew while watching the best college hockey teams battle for the championship? It's a sad statement on our society today that after a hard day of work a man can't head down to the local arena, scalp a ticket minutes before game time, and be allowed to responsibly consume a few drinks.
If nothing else I would think the greed of the NCAA would overcome it's otherwise silly sensibilities and cause it to sell beer at the games. Think about it in economic terms. The NCAA probably gets at least 10% of the concessions at the events if not more. Let's just say that 10,000 folks in the crowd would choose to drink alcoholic beverages if they could do so. That might be a bit on the high side but just go with me here. If these 10,000 drink an average of three drinks each at $5 a drink we're talking $150,000 gross. Going with the 10% take that would net the NCAA $15k a game. Multiply that by three games and you're talking nearly fitty grand. Let's see. The NCAA makes money and their fans are happy. Perish the thought.
Evil. Pure evil I tells ya.
