So Wrong It's Right

Last Sunday's Saint Paul Pioneer Press featured a lengthy article on two of our local community's newest and most beloved health care mascots. Say hello to Petey P. Cup and his sidekick Pokey Syringe.

As the article explains, Petey is:

...a big, anthropomorphic urine sample jar that's the new 'official spokescup' and costumed mascot for HealthPartners, the Bloomington-based health care organization.

I suppose if someone is in need of an "official spokescup" a urine sample jar is as good as anything.

Petey and Pokey have made quite the splash on the local scene and, to their credit, they haven't been ignored by a nation looking for heroes:

According to a poll in a USA Today health care blog, two-thirds of the respondents thought Petey is the best health care mascot, beating out Pokey, Prosty the Spokesgland and Mr. Testicles, a British mascot.

(There is no picture of Mr. Testicles but I have to imagine he looks something like the guy in this hilarious video which encourages men to perform frequent self examinations.)

I had no idea that the mascot industry was so vast that an award for "best health care mascot" was even available. In the spirit of such frivolity, might I suggest...oh, I don't know...eleven ideas for mascots that might give old Petey a run for his money:

Bed Pan Dan
Slicey Scalpel
Dan D. Ruff
Ryan O. Plasty
Hal E. Tosis
Oscar the Ostomy Pouch
Cathy Catheter
Emma the Enema Bag
Uncle Carbuncle
Freddy Fistula

There's ten. Help me out with the eleventh at the address you see on the sidebar. The best ones will be posted when I'm damn good and ready.