Whenever
you see the phrases “best in the world” or “worst in the world”, they are
almost certainly hyperbole. But not always.
For
example, it would be defensible to say that the best resume in the world would
look something like:
Albert Einstein
Dude, just Google “Albert Einstein 1905”
At
the other extreme, the worst resume in the world just may belong to James A.
Johnson.
Mr.
Johnson came to my attention via the C-SPAN program Q&A (which I download
and listen to as a podcast). Brian Lamb
was interviewing New York Times journalist Gretchen Morgenson
about her book, “Reckless
Endangerment: How Outsized Ambition, Greed, and Corruption Created the Worst
Financial Crisis of Our Time.”
Morgenson laid a large
share of the blame for the 2008 financial crisis at the feet of James A. Johnson,
who was the Chairman of Fannie Mae from 1991-1998. According to Morgenson, Mr. Johnson put in
place many of the policies that led to the eventual collapse of the mortgage lending
giant (it was eventually bailed out and taken over by the federal government).
As impressive as it is
to be the man most responsible for nearly destroying the world economy, that,
in and of itself, would not be enough to give Mr. Johnson the worst resume in the
world. But there is also this: Mr. Johnson
was campaign manager for Walter Mondale’s 1984
presidential campaign.
But wait, there’s even
more! In 2004 he was tapped by John
Kerry to chair his vice presidential selection committee – where he
identified John Edwards as the Democrat best suited to beimg one heartbeat away
from the most powerful office in the world.
Based on that success,
he was asked to lead Barack Obama's vice presidential selection committee,
but controversy over his tenure at Fannie Mae forced him to step down. The mind reels when one speculates on who would now be Vice President had Mr. Johnson managed to stay on as head of the
selection committee.
Just one of those
“accomplishments” would be enough to sink any resume. With three of them, one would expect that Mr.
Johnson would be living on public assistance somewhere, quickly changing the
subject whenever someone asked him what he did for a living.
But no, Mr. Johnson
remains gainfully employed and is on the board of directors for Goldman Sachs
and Target Corp.
One can only conclude
that while Mr. Johnson has the world’s WORST resume, he has the world’s BEST
resume writer. I imagine it must be
spinned something like this:
James A. Johnson
Objective
I am seeking a seat on a corporate board of
directors or as head of a vice presidential selection committee.
Education
University
of Minnesota, B.A. of Political Science, 1966
Princeton
University, Master of Public Affairs, 1968
Skills
Delivering
the electoral votes of the District of Columbia to the Democrats
Delivering
the electoral votes of Minnesota to the Democrats
Jedi-like
ability to get the weak-minded to do what I want
Experience
Campaign
Manager for Walter Mondale’s Presidential Campaign, 1984
·
Improved upon the 12 electoral votes
Democrat Stephen A. Douglas won in the 1860 election
·
Would have carried Puerto Rico if it
had been a state
·
Managed to convince 37,577,352
Americans that Walter Mondale would make a better President than Ronald Reagan
Chairman,
Freddie Mac, 1991-1998
·
Made
a lot of money (for myself)
·
Expanded
home ownership to millions of Americans who couldn’t afford it
·
Shrewd
enough to get out long before the house of cards collapsed
·
Had
nothing to do with anything that happened in Greece
Chair,
John Kerry’s Vice Presidential Selection Committee, 2004
·
Identified
a successful politician from North Carolina
·
Hey,
a lot of other people were fooled too
·
Candidate
selected was never actually convicted of anything
Chair
Barack Obama’s Vice Presidential Selection Committee, 2008
·
Resigned
before Joe Biden was selected
