I Feel Your New Age Pain

Yanni is back in town and he's got a lot to say:

At the end of his 1998 concert tour, the Greece-born, Minnesota-educated instrumental icon was -- to put it simply -- burned out. His single-mindedness had forced a breakup with actress Linda Evans, his companion of nine years. He was unsettled and unbalanced, tired and restless -- driven, he says, yet low on passion. He had gone nonstop for six years. He was unhappy, with no sense of direction.

"It was painful because it was two breakups at the same time -- one with Linda and one with my career," said Yanni, who performs Friday in St. Paul. "And I got very lost."

To pull himself out of his doldrums, Yanni immersed himself in two projects: building a recording studio at his new home in south Florida and writing his autobiography.

"The building of the studio was part of my healing process," said Yanni, who took a nearly five-year hiatus from live performances until this winter. "It took my attention away from the music [for two years] and put it into something else creative. We built it from the pilings up. It's about 100 feet from the ocean."

Yanni, 48, had previously refused offers to write his autobiography because he thought he was too young. Having taken "a pause" from his career, he finally accepted an offer from Miramax Books because he had time for "introspection and retrospection." Still, he insisted on the proviso that he could pull the plug on the project at any time.

He's an inspiration to us all. No word yet on a possible Chameleon reunion tour.

Let's Face It, Boys Are Better Than Girls by Dave Thompson

As I submit this article, Annika Sorenstam is about thirty minutes from teeing off in the second round of the Bank of America Colonial golf tournament. She put up an “impressive” one over par 71 on Thursday. You might wonder why I put the word impressive in quotes. Well, because +1 in a PGA event is impressive only if you are an amateur or a girl. If you don't trust my opinion, I refer you to ESPN's Website that points out the fact that she will have to putt better today than yesterday in order to make the cut. A man who shoots a +1 during the opening round of a PGA event will not make the highlight reel on any national or local sports broadcast.

There are many important things to be done in this society that are done equally well by men and women. However, men of equal skill beat women at anything that can be done better or more easily given superior size and/or strength. While women can attain the same level of competence and precision with a golf club, they cannot hit the ball as far as men. That is why virtually every golf course has ladies' tees that shorten the course. A man may have to hit a 270-yard drive in order to be in the same location on the fairway as a woman who hits a 230-yard drive. This golf convention was started long before the political correctness movement came to be, and is therefore a pretty accurate reflection of reality.

Poor Annika is hitting from the men's tees this week. Even if she hits a tee shot with the same sweet stroke of the best man out there, she will be hitting her approach shot to the green from 20, 30 or 40 yards further out. This makes the task of hitting the ball close to the pin much more difficult. She is to an inherent disadvantage by virtue of the fact that she's a girl.

Are you still unconvinced? Well then put your money where your mouth is. If the PGA tour is open to women, it only seems fair that the LPGA tour should be open to men, right? I’m sure you are already in the business of trying to rationalize. Give it up; you can't do so with any intellectual honesty. The fact is that marginal players on the PGA tour and some of the better players on the Buy.com tour would migrate to the LPGA tour and take it over. Their size and strength put them at a huge advantage over the women. The folks who run the LPGA will not (and should not) let this happen.

Since men will not be given the chance to play on the LPGA tour, women should not be allowed to take slots on the PGA tour. I hope we are near the time when it is clear that boys and girls do not belong together in competitive athletic events beyond about age ten. In sports such as football, hockey and wrestling it can result in unreasonable risk of injury and awkward situations for everyone involved. In sports like golf it results in politically correct arrangements that take male professional athletes out of their sport without the permission to go play with the women.

Women on the LPGA tour can no longer make the Rodney Dangerfield argument that they get no respect. ESPN, The Golf Channel and the major golf magazines provide comprehensive coverage of the LPGA tour. Sponsorships are flourishing, resulting in larger tournament purses. (Yes, I will admit that golf is the rare venue in which men have bigger purses). The women really don’t need the men or the media circus surrounding Annika’s excellent weekend adventure. Come to think of it, does the LPGA even have an event this week?

Editor's Note: The Dave Thompson Show can be heard in the Twin Cities every Saturday and Sunday from noon to 3 PM on KSTP-AM 1500.

Hang Ten Hugh

Me too, Me too, Me too!

A little free radio consultant advice for 107 FM host Ian Insta-Punnit:

When you have someone of Lilek’s caliber (like Lileks himself) on your show for an hour,

SHUT THE HELL UP AND LET HIM TALK!

I tuned in this morning to find Punnit finishing Lileks’ sentences, jumping his punch lines and basically beboppin’ and skattin’ all over him. James is only on for an hour for chrissakes, you would think Punnit would just get out of the way and let the sonorously-piped and nothing-if-not-loquacious man do his thing.

Nope. He has to try to compete. “See, I’m funny and witty and offbeat too!” No, no you’re not, Ian. It has to say something about his show that one of today’s segment ideas was to have his wife call to discuss what they were going to do this weekend (!)

At first I thought they accidentally left the mike on during a break or something and this was just a typical conversation between man and wife, one you may have had this morning yourself. No. It was an entire segment. Perhaps next week she can call to discuss what she should get at Cub. Or what video they should rent at Blockbuster--oh, wait a minute, they did discuss that.

The few words Lileks did manage to squeeze in were quite entertaining. He brought along an amazing version of Roy Orbison’s “Crying” from the Mulholland Drive soundtrack that was just beautiful. And he played one of the more ridiculous song-poems from his disturbing collection.

But it was too little too late. In the entire hour, he probably spoke 2 uninterrupted sentences. Thanks, een.

You Don't Have To Go Home, You Can Stay Here (At Least For Another Hour)

Deal is sealed: 2 a.m. closing time for bars in Minnesota

Good news. Ten years ago I would have regarded this event as earth shattering and would have been out in the streets celebrating. Today I just smile and say about time.

Sheer Insanity At The Strib

On Tuesday Robert Scheer wrote a piece for the LA Times which claimed that the US military rescue of Private Lynch was staged, based on a report from the BBC. His column raised a firestorm of criticism particularly since the BBC has pretty much backed away from the original story. Talk radio host Hugh Hewitt has been all over Scheer, the story has been widely covered by InstaPundit, and many noted bloggers including the Shark Blog, James Lileks, and the guys over at Power Line have all written on the subject. You can hardly click on a link in the blogsphere without coming across the Scheer flap. Bill O'Reilly even discussed the matter on The Factor on Wednesday evening.

So today I open up the editorial section of the Minneapolis Star Tribune and see what?

The bleepin' Scheer piece. No mention of the swirling controversy. No addendum that the original BBC story that Scheer based his claptrap on has been discredited. Nothing.

Can the editors possibly be that oblivious? Or do they simply not care? Neither provides much comfort to the unfortunate readers of the Star Tribune.

Words of Wisdom For Memorial Day Weekend

A Brave New Minnesota

Arriving at work today I notice a brand spanking new bright yellow sign adorning the entrance:

'So & So (The company I work for which shall remain nameless) Bans All Guns On These Premises'

Dang it. I guess my idea for "Bring Your Gun to Work Day" isn't going to come to fruition after all.

Her Cheatin' Heart?

Today was the last installation of a four part series on infidelity in the Star Tribune. The series focused on one couple's struggles to overcome a little steppin' out by the little lady and to save their marriage. In case you're wondering they did manage to work things out in the end.

When the series started there was a section called How common is infidelity? which gave some estimates on the prevalance of infidelity today. According to "mid-range estimates" 44% of husbands and 25% of wives cheat at some point in their marriages.

These numbers tend to bear out what is still probably the accepted conventional wisdom on infidelity. The horny hubby is out having a romp with a younger, more attractive bimbo while the poor wife's at home taking care of the kids and the house. I'm not saying that this still doesn't happen because I'm sure it does. But if my own observations are in anyway applicable to society on a larger scale we might have to revise our notions of infidelity.

I've played on the same men's recreational hockey team for about ten years. During that time there have been a number of different players on the team. Five have gone through divorces. While it's always hard to know the whole story behind each divorce, from what I've heard each of the five breakups were initiated by the wives. In three of the divorces the wife was cheating although in only one case was that initially apparent. In the the other two the women claimed to be in need of "more space" or "just needed to be alone for a while". Later the information emerged that, in fact, they had already been carrying on affairs. And ,while acknowledging that I might not be getting the whole truth and nothing but the truth, to the best of my knowledge none of the men involved had been unfaithful.

Now I'm not saying that this is irrefutable proof that women are cheating more. This is a very small and specific sampling of the general population. Maybe guys who play hockey are losers who drive women into the arms of other men (Say it ain't so!). But it does cause me to raise my eyebrows a bit and wonder why.

The way I see it there are two main factors at work here:

1. The ever increasing number of women in the workplace. (Yes I've heard about the Lindberg baby smartass.) I know that women working is hardly a new phenomenon. But men and women are working side by side in the same industries and professions now more than ever before. And the workplace has become for infidelity what the locker room floor is for athletes foot; a breeding ground. From the Strib piece:

Baltimore psychologist Shirley P. Glass raises an alarm over these developments in particular:

Friendships, especially at work, that start as healthy connections and then slide down that proverbial slippery slope into romance. This is not the old boss-beguiles-secretary routine. It's two people drawn close because they share a big piece of their lives.

2. The Feminist movement of the 60's and 70's told women they could have it all: Career, love, and family. This in turn raised expectations of what women wanted in men. It used to be that it was wives who had a hard time measuring up to the often unrealistic expectations of their husbands to raise the kids, manage the household, and still be sexually attractive and interested. Now women increasingly expect men to still be able to provide for them in addition to being a good father, and satisfying their needs both sexually and emotionally. He has to bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, be a stud between the sheets, as well as a sensitive listener. These days that's proving to be a tall order for some men to fill and it leaves their wives disappointed. Maybe they can't have it all after all.

Perhaps all this is an inevitable result of women wanting to be treated more like men. I'm sure that certain folks would welcome the fact, if it is indeed true, that women are cheating more and see it as progress towards their notion of true equality. I might add a warning to be careful what you wish for. You just might get it.

One thing is certain.

This ain't just your father's infidelity anymore.

Where Is The "Hate" Coming From Again?

From today's Minneapolis Star Tribune:

A House DFL aide publicly apologized Tuesday for likening House Republicans to members of the Ku Klux Klan and branding them as liars in a published interview in a black community newspaper.

Lou Harvin, a longtime Twin Cities TV news reporter who is now public affairs director for the House DFL caucus, issued his apology shortly after Sen. Tom Neuville, R-Northfield, demanded one on the Senate floor.

The Spokesman-Recorder article quoted Harvin as saying:

"A lot of members of the Republican Party in this House, to me, are basically -- I don't want to scare people -- of the KKK mentality, but totally without the hoods. They have gotten smart; they wear neckties, they wear dresses, they don't use the 'N' word. But their thought process is exactly the same: 'Black people are lesser people than I am . . .'

"I'm not saying they're going to go out and hang people. . . . I'm saying that KKK mentality is alive and well, and it's so slick now. . . . What Republicans do is lie, they lie, they lie. And they lie so much I have to spend my entire day unraveling the lies before I'm even able to promote my party."

Up and Down the Dial

Yesterday Mitch Berg at Shot In The Dark featured a solid overview of the local Twin Cities talk radio scene (permalinks are kaput you have to scroll down). His description of Mike Gallagher as "everybland" is the perfect tag for Gallagher's complete lack of a distinguishing personality or style. And I have to give Mitch props for even knowing who the WCCO hosts are these days. Unless I'm tuning in to a Wild or Twins game I avoid the Good Neighbor like the plague. I guess I'm still haunted by childhood memories of listening to Joyce LaMont, the barking dogs on Boone and Erickson (yeah that never gets old), breaking news on pork belly futures, and the corn detassling bus pickup schedule (if you've never lived in the Midwest and have no idea what I'm referring to consider yourself lucky).

However, I think Mitch did overlook a few shows and was a bit hasty in his judgment of others. How and why would you not want to include the lovely Laura Ingraham in the mix? Yes, her show is on 1570 AM KYCR which is hardly a household name in the Twin Cities radio scene but I'd rather listen to the rebroadcast of her program in the morning (6am-9am) than the dreck they're spinning these days over at KSTP. The only downside to Ingraham's show is the God awful impersonations that she tries to pull off. Usually I'll listen to her until 8am when I switch over to Ian Punnent at FM 107. Punnent is a lot like Tommy Mischke at KSTP in that you need to listen for a while before you "get it" and it's probably not everyone's cup of tea. KYCR also does have Ingraham live from 6pm-9pm in the evenings but I usually am busy listening to Hugh Hewitt's show at that time. Hugh manages to assemble an amazing collection of guests and provides incomparable insight into the national political scene. Plus he throws out some love to us humble bloggers every once in a while and likes to push Lileks buttons so you gotta respect him.

Finally how could one write about the local radio scene and not mention Dave Thompson? Thousands of Twin Cities residents spend their Saturday and Sunday afternoons listening to Dave's soothing tones while doing various chores around the house. Whether he's talking about conceal and carry reform or his reluctance to touch salamanders Dave brings his unique style into our lives and has become an indispensable part of our weekend routines. Cleaning out the gutters just wouldn't be the same without him.

Cereal Philandering

I have a bad habit of not quite finishing the last of the cereal in the box. When it feels like there is less than a full bowl in there I dispatch it to the bottom of the pantry, where it can sit for a long time.

This morning I woke up and realized that I had no fresh cereal. I usually like to keep at least 2 boxes at the ready to avoid this type of calamity, but I must have screwed up.

Looking down at the bottom of the pantry I found partial boxes of Raisin Bran, Great Grains, Cub-brand Honey Nut and Corn Chex. Now there is nothing worse than pouring an ounce of leftover cereal in your bowl and then getting 4 ounces of cereal dust that tastes like old chalk along with it. So, I decided to try to combine the cereals to make what I hoped would be two full bowls.

The obvious way to do this was to group like-cereals together. For example, the Corn Chex and the Cub Honey Nut were basically birds of the same feather--oven toasted corn cereal and oven toasted rice and corn cereal respectively.

That would make one bowl, but the next one was a bit more of a dilemma. The Great Grains describes itself as “The goodness of whole grains...and crunchy pecans”. By itself a morning delight, but with Raisin Bran?

Being a natural risk-taker, I decided to combine the Raisin Bran with the Honey Nut, reasoning that since Honey Nut was sweeter, it would overcome the inherent conflict of a bran with a non-bran cereal. Turned out okay, only there was too much Raisin Bran for the Honey Nut to overcome.

That left the Great Grains and the Corn Chex combo, which I consumed with mixed results. The Corn Chex immediately floated to the top of the bowl and the Great Grains, bloated by the weight of the pecans, went straight to the bottom. They were basically a soggy mess by the time I got through the first layer of Chex and the pecans had not aged so well.

So I’m off to the grocery store to score some more boxes. I think I’ll need to get at least four, meaning I'll probably repeat this entire rediculous episode in about a month.