Swanson Hungry Man

Ron Swanson is one of the two greatest characters on television today. The other is Jack Donaghy (you don't have to like the actor to like the character he plays). How can you not like a guy who uses these checks?

I would buy those checks if I could.

Anyway, some enterprising web scribbler has taken a shot at fashioning The Swanson Guide to Man/Woman Relations and for the most part he hits his mark:

If a woman ever asks you to compromise the protein sector of your diet, she may as well have defecated on your wooden sailing ship collection: that’s the first and last red flag you’ll ever need.

Lest you doubt the greatness of Ron Swanson, this video sorry THIS VIDEO should set you straight.

A Little R & R

If there’s one thing that an America bitterly divided along political lines needs now more than ever it’s a open-armed, bi-partisan gesture that would please those on either side of the aisle. A grand gesture like having Mitt Romney name Paul Ryan as his running mate (WSJ-sub req):

The Republican presidential nominating fight might not wrap up until June, but speculation is already swirling about whom Mitt Romney might pick as his running mate—and both parties are focusing on the same candidate.

Rep. Paul Ryan, the Republican chairman of the House Budget Committee, floated to the top of some lists with his performance accompanying Mr. Romney on a recent campaign swing through Mr. Ryan's native Wisconsin. The congressman, who is seen by many as the natural heir to the sunny fiscal conservatism of former vice presidential candidate Jack Kemp, appeared particularly chummy with Mr. Romney.

Democrats are acting as if they also would like to see Mr. Ryan on the GOP ticket. President Barack Obama, in a salvo this week against Republican economic policies, attacked Mr. Romney for supporting a budget blueprint prepared by Mr. Ryan, one that seeks deep cuts in federal spending and a major overhaul of Medicare.

Republicans like the idea. Democrats like the idea. Finally, something we can all unite around: Paul Ryan on the Romney ticket. Plus the prospect of watching Paul Ryan go up against Joe Biden in a debate is simply too delicious an opportunity to pass up.

In the Eyes and Minds of Men

Jennifer Fulwiler on Thomas Merton’s Prophetic Warning About Social Media:

Merton talked about his desire to see himself "externalized in a public and printed and official self." In his time, the ways to create this kind of "externalized self" were limited. If you were a writer you could get something published, or if you were an actor maybe you could have a role in a movie, but there weren't a lot of other ways to form a separate, public persona and value it according to the response it received. Now, anyone with an internet connection has this option.

There are a lot of great things about social media; I think that, overall, Facebook, Twitter, and other similar technology add value to our lives in the way they keep us connected with one another. But we need to be careful that our use of this kind of media doesn't lead us to fall into the same temptation Merton did over half a century ago, to aspire to live in the eyes and minds of men.

You're Next, Chester A. Arthur!

After an interminable and completely unnecessary delay, the NCAA hockey tournament resumes today with two Frozen Four semi-finals in Tampa Bay (sigh). The marquee matchup is tonight’s contest between top ranked Boston College and the University of Minnesota. The winner of the this game will be heavily favored to go on and win the national championship on Saturday.

As a Gopher fan, I’m both excited and nervous about the prospect of facing BC tonight. I watched some of their games down the stretch (the Hockey East championship game and the regionals) and they are an imposing squad. Shutting out UMD in their regional final was particularly impressive. The Gophers are going to need to get on the board early and a lucky bounce or two certainly would help.

This afternoon’s Frozen Four semi-final features two teams that aren’t exactly household names, even for college hockey fans. Since Ferris State University plays in the CCHA, they’re somewhat familiar (and no, it’s not true that the school takes its name from that fictional Bueller fellow). But Union College is pretty much a complete unknown. A piece in yesterday’s WSJ by a Union alum who once tried to kill the hockey program there helped shed some light (sub req):

As I write this, my alma mater, Union College, with an enrollment of 2,157 and no athletic scholarships, is preparing for its first appearance in college hockey's "Frozen Four"—the sport's national semifinals. The game is Thursday. But before I wave my garnet-and-white flag, I need to come clean: 21 years ago, I did everything in my power to kill Union's Division I hockey program before it started.

Founded in 1795 as one of the country's first nondenominational colleges, Union claims that by 1830 it was part of a so-called "big four" with Harvard, Yale, and Princeton. I have never heard anyone who went to Harvard, Yale or Princeton make this claim. That is important, because the desire to reclaim some supposed former glory is the central reason Union is in the Frozen Four—and the reason I've become the school's version of John Sculley, the former Apple executive who decided in 1986 that Steve Jobs was going to ruin the place.

Known as the "mother of fraternities," Union birthed undergraduate Greek life and produced Chester A. Arthur, the forgettable 21st president. The college scenes in "The Way We Were" were filmed there and the campus features one the world's only 16-sided symmetrical buildings. Not exactly marketing gold for a private college that runs about $54,000 a year.

That is one small school. And a spendy one. Considering those factors, putting a top notch hockey team on the ice is quite an achievement.

To Roger Hull, Union's president at the time, joining the ECAC and building a great hockey team would raise the profile of a college then known as something of a safety school for the most selective northeastern institutions. "You're known by the company you keep," Hull, who retired in 2005, said in an interview Monday night.

I thought this was a horrible idea. A senior at the time, I argued In multiple letters to the school newspaper and at a town-hall meeting that the logic of attracting better students with a better hockey team was cockeyed.

"By entering Division I, this emphasis on athletics, possibly at the expense of attention to academics, may increase drastically," I warned in one letter. Why not create the country's best English or chemistry department? I suggested creating a curriculum based on classic writings of Western civilization (yet another step toward the wrong side of history).

You gotta give credit to a guy can admit it when he’s wrong. And it seems like Union’s plan to use hockey to put itself on the map has worked to a least some extent. I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s learned far more about the school than I ever previously wanted to know because of their appearance in the Frozen Four.

It’s been a good run for Union so far and it will be interesting to see whether they can continue it today. No matter how today’s games turn out, we’ll see a Saturday showdown between one of college hockey’s traditional powerhouses and a relatively new team on the scene. The puck drops at 3:30pm (central) today. Finally.

The One That Matters Most

George Weigel on how Easter Changes Everything:

And remember what? Remember Easter. Remember the Resurrection. Through the prism of that extraordinary event that changed both history and nature, everything comes into clearer focus. Only a mature, paschal faith—an Easter faith—can perceive who Jesus is, understand what Jesus taught, and grasp what Jesus has accomplished by his obedience to the Father. Only in the power of this paschal “memory,” Cardinal Ravasi concludes, can we recognize that Jesus is the Christ, the Holy One of God.

Easter faith—the faith which proclaims that “he...rose again on the third day”—is not one article of Christian conviction among others. As St. Paul teaches in 1 Corinthians 15, Easter faith is that conviction on which the entire edifice of Christianity is built. Without Easter, nothing makes sense and Jesus is a false prophet, even a maniac. With Easter, all that has been obscure about his life, his teaching, his works and his fate becomes radiantly clear: this Risen One is the “first-born among many brethren” (Romans 8:29); he is the new Temple (Revelation 21:22); and by embracing him we enter the dwelling place of God among us (Revelation 21:3).

In the Gospel readings of the Easter Octave, the Church annually remembers the utterly unprecedented nature of the paschal event, and how it exploded expectations of what God’s decisive action in history would be. No one gets it, at first; for what has happened bursts the previous limits of human understanding. The women at the empty tomb don’t understand, and neither do Peter and John. The disciples on the road to Emmaus do not understand until they encounter the Risen One in the Eucharist, the great gift of paschal life, offered by the new Temple, the divine Presence, himself. At one encounter with the Risen Lord, the Eleven think they’re seeing a ghost; later, up along the Sea of Galilee, it takes awhile for Peter and John to recognize that “It is the Lord!” (John 21:7). These serial episodes of incomprehension, carefully recorded by the early Church, testify to the shattering character of Easter, which changed everything: the first disciples’ understanding of history, of life-beyond-death, of worship and its relationship to time (thus Sunday, the day of Easter, becomes the Sabbath of the New Covenant).

That's All You Got?

Remember the dawning of the Age of Obama? It was to be a blissful time when we could all get beyond this silly "blue state" and "red state" nonsense that divided us for too long and unite together under the post-partisan presidency of Obama and his soaring and inspiring rhetoric. Yeah, it does seem like a long time ago, doesn't it? Excerpt from an editorial in today's WSJ called Paul Ryan's Hunger Games:

Did you hear about the GOP's red-in-tooth-and-claw plan for Medicare? Grandma and Gramps are going to be drafted for the Hunger Games.

Mr. Obama has been working Mediscare for the last year, but he is also debuting some new material, each layer thicker than the last. Modern Republicans are so radical that they oppose research and care for Alzheimer's, cancer, AIDS, autism and Down Syndrome, even as they want to deny education and food to children and their mothers. They want to pave over Yellowstone and backfill the Grand Canyon. But few tourists could get there anyway, because Republicans plan to shut down air traffic control too.

Because Republicans have criticized the Administration's torrent of costly new rules across the entire economy, therefore they favor returning to a state of regulatory nature, with no rules at all. Because Republicans oppose high-speed rail, therefore they would have opposed industrialization in the 19th century. They do plan to build a wayback machine to the Gilded Age, however, by handing a $150,000 check to every American millionaire, a million-dollar check to every billionaire, and a billion-dollar check to every trillionaire.

"This is not conjecture," Mr. Obama said. "I am not exaggerating. These are facts." Lest you think we exaggerate, read the transcript.

These are facts? Sure they are Mr. President. The fact that President Obama now has to fall back to using the same sort of scare strategy that Democrats have employed going back to at least the Age of Reagan should be an encouraging sign to Republicans. It means that he's got nuthin'. No ideas, no accomplishments, no plans or vision for the future. The ONLY way he can hope to win reelection is to frighten enough gullible voters with absurd images of the Republican bogeyman lurking in the shadows.

The proper Republican response to such fear mongering is best exemplified by this recent video clip where Paul Ryan laughed off Obama's criticism of budget. Three years ago, Obama was a conqueror. Today, he's a clown.

Tyranny of the Majority

David Harsanyi is now scribbling for Human Events and his first work under that banner is called Obama and the mother of all tyrannies:

But if the Supreme Court -- or, as Barack Obama likes to refer to them, an "unelected group of people" -- overturns Obamacare's individual mandate, the president says that the court would be taking "an unprecedented, extraordinary step of overturning a law that was passed by a strong majority of a democratically elected Congress."

To begin with, as usual, much of Obama's rhetoric isn't exactly accurate. A "strong" majority did not support Obamacare. (Parliamentary maneuvering in a Democratic Congress was needed to pass it.) It would be neither unprecedented (unless you count the way it was passed) nor extraordinary to overturn parts of a federal law. (The Supreme Court has done it many times.) And a court that restrains democracy is not an activist court as Obama implies, but typically one that's just doing its job.

But though most of the criticism of Obama has pointed out that the president has issued a "warning" or an "attack" on the judicial branch -- and, let's be honest, all people do it when it suits them -- it is his misguided case for democracy that should worry us most. Because, believe it or not, a small unelected group upholding individual liberty is a huge improvement over the opposite.

Alexander Hamilton argued that the court protects (or should protect) the deeper will of the people, because the Constitution represents our overarching values. Newly instituted laws, on the other hand, could often reflect fleeting emotions, lack of knowledge or flawed politicians.

Hamilton also claimed that federal courts would be the "least dangerous branch." In this he was surely wrong. Even if the individual mandate is struck down by the Supreme Court this summer (and it seems to me that there is some premature celebration on the right), you might want to remember this: The court is a single judge away from only occasionally caring about enumerated powers or ignoring them altogether.

That is a sobering thought indeed. And one that reinforces the importance of this year's race for president however uninspired we may be by the candidates.

Drinking at the Oasis

Nathaniel Peters on The Virtues of the Speakeasy:

As much fun as they may be, though, these speakeasies are not entirely frivolous.They offer two real goods—goods I might go so far as to call virtues. First, they mix excellent drinks. The bartenders really are masters at their craft. A mint julep comes in a frosted tin cup with tiny balls of ice, just as it should. Sipping one of their many concoctions gives the satisfaction of enjoying something tasty because it’s well made. Craftsmanship is valuable in life, whether it comes from well-carved oak or the best Pink Lady you’ve ever had. Second, and as a result, the place engenders real convivium. Most bars offer blaring music and crummy pick-up lines. Speakeasies are an island for adult behavior in a world of perpetual adolescence. Many of them have small signs with the house rules. Little Branch, for instance, informs its guests that if they would like to get to know another patron, they should ask the bartender for an introduction. PDT’s etiquette list puts it more directly: “Do not interrupt other guests: if you came here to hit on strangers, you’re in the wrong bar.” And my favorite: “No PDA at PDT.” Far from being turn-offs, such rules do what social regulations can do best: create an environment in which all parties are comfortable and respected. Judging by how hard it is to get a reservation, there is a market for that sort of environment after all.

The Right To Bare Everything

Freedom is on trial this week. We all know the outlines. The overbearing, increasingly tyrannical government is attempting to crush the liberty of the people by violating the inalienable right for choice in one’s most personal affairs. Nothing less than the fundamental relationship between the state and it’s citizenry hangs in the balance.

No, I’m not talking about Obamacare and the right of people to make their own health care choices. I’m talking about something more important, the upcoming trial in Minneapolis about the right of a University of Minnesota teacher to stroll around in public without his clothes on.

The facts of the case are these and they are not in dispute:

Shortly before 3 p.m. July 10, [Officer Danny Kagol] and another officer were patrolling Sweeney Beach, located on Twin Lake, the smaller of a pair of lakes between Hwy. 100 and Theodore Wirth Parkway on the Minneapolis-Golden Valley border. They spotted [Patrick] Scully walking toward the shoreline.

"As I continued to observe Scully, I was able to see that he was wearing no clothing. I was able to clearly see his penis as he walked to shore," the report read.

Silver lining: if you have to be written up in a police report for indecent exposure, the emphasis on being able to “clearly see” your equipment is better than, “he was wearing no clothing, but I couldn't detect anything.”

The defendant Scully has never denied he was in a state of undress while in public. His defense relies on a more creative theory.

Scully, a longtime performance artist and crusader for an au naturel lifestyle, says it's art -- an extension of his vision to live in a world where we're no longer afraid of our bodies.

If his public nude exploits are art, it would shock me if he’s not receiving a generous public subsidy from the MN Legacy Fund.

His plea for us to not fear our bodies reminds me of a scene from the Seinfeld episode, The Subway. Jerry wakes up on the subway next to a Patrick Scully fellow traveler.

JERRY: O-K. You realize of course, you're naked?



NAKED MAN: Naked, dressed. I don't see any difference.



JERRY: You oughta' sit here. There is a difference.



NAKED MAN: You got something against naked body?



JERRY: I got something against yours. How about a couple of deep knee bends, maybe a squat thrust?



NAKED MAN: I'm not ashamed of my body.



JERRY: That's your problem, you should be.


More information to better understand the context of Scully’s behavior:

Scully, who teaches English as a Second Language at the University of Minnesota, has performed as an artist since 1976 and once considered a run for mayor, said he's not a pot-stirrer without reason. You'll never find him strolling naked down Nicollet Mall, for example. His performances are generally limited to the stage, or to the homes of friends or other supporters.

Reminder: never accept an invitation to a house warming party from a friend or supporter of Patrick Scully.

"In the big picture, I think that we fear our bodies, and we live in a society in which people are easily manipulated by fear," he said. "Governments since at least Julius Caesar have been aware of that."

"I believe that you have to be the change that you want to see in the world," said Scully, a 6-foot-7 dancer, founder of Patrick's Cabaret and outspoken gay rights activist.

Be the change? If there’s ever a movie made about this important case, I know what the theme song will be:

Be the Change (JB Doubtless, 2008, NARN First Team Productions)

In a world where people were gripped with fear of their bodies, a 6’7” dancer/college professor changed everything. By wearing nothing at all. Be the change. Frolicking toward your local theater, Summer 2013.

Beer of the Week (Vol. CXL)

Another edition of Beer of the Week sponsored as always by the weighty folks at Glen Lake Wine & Spirits who can help you find the wine, whiskey, and beer to the scales in your favor.

Jacob Leinenkugel’s Brewery in Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin has long been regarded as somewhere in between a local craft brewer a national marco brand. Their Honey Weiss and Red, although tepid brews by craft standards, were for a time some of the few alternatives to Bud, Miller, and Coors available on local taps. While I don’t mind their Summer Shandy and particularly enjoy Leinie’s Sunset Wheat, they have usually had one toe in the craft pond at best when it came to the new offerings released in recent years.

All that changed last year with the advent of the limited Big Eddy series of beers. The first Big Eddy was Russian imperial Stout which was released last year. This month, the second beer in the line hit store shelves with Big Eddy Wee Heavy Scotch Ale:

Our Big Eddy Wee Heavy Scotch Ale is a tip of the cap to the brewers of Scotland. A blend of eight robust malts give Wee Heavy its complex flavor which is balanced by notes of dark chocolate, toffee and caramel.

12oz brown bottle. A four pack sells for $10.99. Classic looking paper brown and royal blue label with a sparse but sharp look.

STYLE: Scotch Ale

ALCOHOL BY VOLUME: 9.5%

COLOR (0-2): Amber brown. 2

AROMA (0-2): Heavy sweet malts with noticeable alcohol. 1

HEAD (0-2): Tan color, not much volume, but what’s there is quite thick and foamy. Decent lacing. 2

TASTE (0-5): Overwhelming malty which mostly comes through as bready, sweet, and a little syrupy. I don’t really pick up the chocolate, toffee, or caramel. The heat is quite apparent and tends to wash out the more subtle flavors. Thicker mouthfeel with a heavy body. Definitely one that you want to work at a slower pace. 3

AFTERTASTE (0-2): Flavors come through strong and linger. 2

OVERALL (0-6): Big Eddy Wee Heavy Scotch Ale is a quality beer and a hits a higher standard than most of Leinie’s other beers. It’s flavors come out more and it loses some of its harshness as it warms so you don’t want to drink this straight out of the fridge. The alcohol and malty sweetness is a wee bit heavier than I’d prefer, but it’s still a good choice for a beer to kick back with and sip and savor. 4

TOTAL SCORE (0-19): 14

Practical Joke Idea from my College Days

The large Mega Millions jackpot reminds me of a practical joke idea I had in my college days. (Works best if you live in a college dorm in the days before the internet).

1. Gather together a half dozen friends and announce that you have bought them each a lottery ticket as a gift. Buy one ticket with the exact same numbers that won the previous lottery drawing. Shuffle up the tickets and randomly distribute them to your friends.

2. Wake up early the morning after the drawing and replace the lottery page of everyone’s newspaper with pages saved from the previous drawing.

3. Sit back and wait to see which of your friends “won”

4. Inform the winner of the joke before they give away their meager possessions.

Stillwater Roiled

Recently a member of the Stillwater City Council proposed hiring an outside consultant to help the Council more productively talk to each other and avoid the tension that has been building among them. Apparently for a mere $2,700 to $4,200 of tax expenditure, our public servants could learn to work and play well with others.

Thankfully, the proposal was voted down, though it was a close one. A bare majority, at 3 - 2, saved us Stillwater taxpayer’s from having to fund expensive kumbaya therapy for our political elites. Here’s the highlight from the debate
on this vitally critical issue for our government:



Key quote from the video above, delivered by the Mayor to a City Council Person

If your job is to represent the people, you’re doing a pretty crappy job representing the people. You have to listen to them.”

Now that’s the kind of frank, open exchange of ideas that democracy
demands. Certainly, a professional communications facilitator would never have let this happen. Thank goodness we won’t have to worry about such censorship of thought in the future.

As to the merits of the charge, I don’t pay enough attention to the performance of the Stillwater City Council to assess its accuracy. But when it comes to any politician, odds are it’s right on the money.