The Hands of Fate

I see Keith Ellison was on CNN teaching America about its civic and religious heritage. I especially like this part, about who gets to put there hands where during a Congressional swearing-in ceremony:

In a private ceremony, of course I'll put my hand on a book that is the basis of my faith, which is Islam, and I think that this is a -- this is a beauty. This is a wonderful thing for our country because Jewish members will put their hands on the Torah, Mormon members will put their hand on the Book of Mormon, Catholic members will put their hand on the book of their choice and members who don't want to put any book -- their hand on any book are also fully free to do that.

Yeah, those Catholics, which deity do they worship again? I know, it's hard to keep track of such an obscure sect, especially in the multicultural utopia of the MN 5th district.

Since we are given such wide discretion by the distinguished gentleman, I think we should take advantage of it. If the American people are ever foolish enough to elect any of my favorite Cathlolics to higher office, I predict their hands will be firmly placed, or perhaps trembling, on each of the following books of their choice at their swearing-in ceremonies:

Atomizer: The Bartender's Bible

Chad the Elder: Blog, by Hugh Hewitt

JB Doubtless: Liberalism is a Mental Disorder

Nihilist in Golf Pants: 2005 City Pages "Best Of" Issue

Sisyphus: The Personal Beliefs of Jimmy Carter