Hell's Wedding Bells

From: Jennifer Talledge
Sent: Wednesday, January 29 9:04 AM
To: Saint Paul
Subject: Wedding Bells

Good Morning. How are you? I am doing well today. This is becoming the year of the weddings. Shelly and Jim announced yesterday that they have finally set a date- October 3 at a Winery in Napa Valley! What a great excuse for Dave and I to finally get to Napa- I am very excited! Then there is Caty's in April, Katy's in May, Kristy's in June, and Amanda's in Dec (in Playa del Carmen, Mexico!) These weddings seem to come in waves, seems like everyone is doing it!


From: Saint Paul
Sent: Wednesday, January 29 10:09 AM
To: Jennifer Talledge
Subject: RE: Wedding Bells

You're quite right, these things do come in waves. And that's why I'm happy to inform you ...... I'm getting married in June! Can you believe it!

That's right, I've recently joined a Satanic cult, and according to their bylaws, I must marry the Dark Master of Smoke and Brimstone before the third phase of the next harvest moon. My cult group leader informs me they've set me up with a beautiful 29-year-old paralegal. She currently lives in Uptown, owns two cats, likes foreign movies and indy rock (especially Pete Yorn), and has been possessed by the Devil since November of last year.

Unfortunately, the ceremony will be a closed event and the wedding party must consist exclusively of members of the Evil Horde currently living in the Twin Cities. But we are planning a reception afterwards where all our friends will be invited to join us (for all eternity in the Lake of Fire). You guys will definitely be invited - I'll keep you posted as to the exact date and location, until then, keep wishing me dark thoughts and fiendish vibes!