The Christmas Boot

I've been subjected to an inordinate amount of time listening to the Christmas Music Super Station in the Twin Cities this season. As such, today's story of President Bush getting shoes thrown at him during a press conference made me think of only one thing.

The Christmas Shoes (in Iraq)

It was almost Christmas time
There I stood in a press line
Trying to get that last Bush quote or two
Not really in the Christmas mood

Standing right in front of me
an Iraqi reporter waiting anxiously
Pacing around like reporters do
And in his hands he held
A pair of shoes

And his mood was dark and cold
He was a reporter from head to toe
And when it came his time to inveigh
I couldn't believe what I heard him say

"This is a gift from the Iraqis. This is the farewell kiss, you dog"
And from his hands flew the initial dirty clog.
Bush ducked it fine
But the reporter had one more
You see, he'd been pissed for quite a while
And he knew these shoes would make liberals smile
and he wanted Bush to look foolish,
on Count Down and Hardball tonight


And ........ that's all I could complete.

I know, it really deserves a full rendering. But the original lyrics have like 8 more stanzas, with no discernible rhyme scheme or verse-chorus progression. You thought it was torture listening to the song, try to do a parody of it!

You gluttons for holiday punishment out there who think you want more, I give you this instead. The video for The Christmas Shoes starring ....... Rob Lowe.