The Great Outdoors

Last Friday, we had the opportunity to get a sneak peak at a new facility under construction in downtown Minneapolis. I'd love to be able to tell you all about it, but we're operating under a strict gag order to reveal nothing of what we saw. Therefore, we're collectively taking a Sergeant Schultz approach to the matter. All I will say at this time is that when 2010 comes around the grass will be real and it will be spectacular.

After the construction tour, we adjourned to the Little Wagon to revitalize ourselves. The Little Wagon is the "other" establishment in bar baron Terry Keegan's Minneapolis empire and it's a great pre and post game location for those taking in a Twins game as we were that night. We happened to be there for The Wagon's 5pm trivia and discovered that although it's been a while since we partook in trivia at either Keegan establishment, little had changed. Marty was as unfunny, off-color, and insulting as ever and the questions were as ambiguously worded and incorrectly judged as ever. Just for the record, "Hannah Montana" was the #1 movie for April 10th through 16th and Steven Seagal just turned fifty-eight, not 53, 55, 57, or 59 (the options given by Marty). Not that we're bitter or anything. Finishing third was enough to get us each a free drink ticket which is the real goal of these trivial pursuits.

Despite the atrocious conditions in which it was played (plastic seats, Teflon ceiling, fake foul poles, artificial turf, etc.) the game itself was entertaining. For the first seven-and-half innings, the Twins looked likely to continue their recent swoon. Poor pitching, hapless hitting, and sloppy fielding left the home squad on the wrong side of a 9-4 score as they prepared to bat in the bottom of the eighth against the Angels. At which point, Saint Paul and JB Doubtless--who were sitting twelve rows below the rest of the group in the prestigious King Banaian seats--began demanding that we cut and run. "The game is lost," they said, "We've already invested too much of our treasure and time in a futile cause. This was the wrong game, at the wrong time, in the wrong place..."

Fortunately Atomizer--who had the painful consequences of a premature withdrawal seared into his conscience years earlier--remained Churchillian in his resolve and was adamant that we never give in. Well, actually it was more like "let's at least see the Twin bat this inning," but nevertheless he refused to cave in to the pressure. Which proved fortuitous as the Twins scored seven times in the eighth, capped off by Jason Kubel's cycle completing two-out grand slam home run. After Joe Nathan closed out the Halos with seven pitches in the ninth, the Twins had an improbable 11-9 victory on their way to a three-game weekend sweep.

It ended up being a great night at the ballpark, which would have been even better had it been under a starry sky. Just wait until next year.