With a Name Like That It Has to Be Good

The Web site Publica has published the complete list of financial institutions taking Federal bail out money. A staggering $426 billion committed taxpayer dollars so far. Only time will tell how wise these expenditure are. But reviewing the names of the banks and financial institutions on the list, the following seem like extremely bad investments on their face:

1) Popular, Inc. $935 million

Trying WAY too hard with that name. If they were really so beloved, would they need nearly a BILLION tax dollars in relief? Plus there's this, from their Wikipedia entry:

During the 1970s, the company's commercials were very popular on Puerto Rican television: they presented a balding, middle aged man in a white tee shirt, announcing the company in a comic way.

2) Umpqua $214.4 million

Too guttural. Sounds like pig Latin for something obscene.

3) Old Second Bancorp $73 million

We're chronic losers, and we're proud of it!

4) Flushing Financial Corp. $70 million

Whoosh! Your investments straight down the terlet.

5) Beach Business Bank $6 million

I'm surprised a bank specializing in financing sunglasses, inflatable rafts, and tiny buckets and shovels only needs $6 million to survive.

6) Crazy Woman Creek Bancorp $3.1 million

Hey, Nancy Pelosi started a bank. Even with that name, it sounds like a more attractive investment than bailing out GM.