Tuesday, August 09, 2011

Soros, You Magnificent Bastard!

I’ve always been puzzled by George Soros. Conservatives have learned to hate Soros for his support of such organizations as MoveOn.org and Center for American Progress. But, why would a man who despised the communist system that he grew up under and then made billions in capitalistic currency speculation, fund numerous left-wing political organizations?

We’ve all imagined Soros polishing his monocle during breaks from stroking his furless cat while plotting the next move for Democracy Alliance from his underground lair in the crater of an extinct volcano. But, why? What is his endgame? How does he benefit from installing “progressives” in American government?

These questions may now be answered by this article in the London Daily Mail:

A mystery investor or hedge fund reportedly made a bet of almost $1billion at odds of 10/1 last month that the U.S. would lose its AAA credit rating.

Now questions are being asked of whether the trader had inside information before placing the $850million bet in the futures market, or if the bet happened at all.

There were mounting rumours that investor George Soros, 80, famously known as ‘the man who broke the Bank of England’, could be involved.

But wait, a source close to Soros denies involvement:

But a source with knowledge of the firm said Soros was not involved in the rumoured trade and questioned whether in fact there had been such a trade at all.

Of course, if Auric Goldfinger had succeeded in irradiating the gold in Fort Knox, he would have leaked to the press that he was in no way involved and suggest that perhaps the presence of a dead British double-0 agent at the scene might better explain the contamination of the gold (if the gold was even contaminated at all).

As someone who roots for the evil genius billionaires in the movies and is usually disappointed when their schemes are thwarted, I hope that it was George Soros who made the play in Treasury bond futures. If it turns out that the last ten years of supporting progressive causes was an evil plot to bring America to the point where he could cash in on our credit downgrade, then my response is: Well played Auric Soros, you magnificent bastard!