Welcome to Geeksville. Population: You

Interesting piece in Wednesday's Strib (yes, you have to register to see it %$#&^!) on the rebound at Marvel comics , fueled in large part by the recent string of successful movies based on their heroes.

After reorganizing in the wake of a 1996 bankruptcy, Marvel is at the top of the industry, followed by DC, Image, Dark Horse and countless independents. Recovering from a low point of barely 20 percent market share in 1999, Marvel's take has risen to about 40 percent.

In my younger days I was a Marvel guy so the news that Marvel is #1 warms my heart. But it's not just Marvel. The whole industry is enjoying a rebirth.

Partly because of the movies, comic sales are up 10 to 14 percent over last year.

I wonder how many times over the years people have written off the comic book industry only to be proven incorrect when it rises from the grave to reclaim a place in the popular culture. Now that kids have TV they won't read comics anymore. Now that kids have video games at home they won't read comics. Now that kids have computers and the internet they won't read comics anymore. Wrong wrong wrong.

I have very little interest in comic books these days. And it's not my lifelong dream to open my own comic book store and live the life of CBG. Besides I'm married.

Hibbert: My prognosis -- or is it diagnosis? Whichever. You need to avoid stress. What kind of work do you do?

CBG: I run a comic book store.

Hibbert: Oh, dear Lord! We call that profession, "the widow-maker." Or we would, if any of the proprietors were married.

And I know that this ground has already been well trod upon but when I was growing up you were either a Marvel reader or a DC reader. One or the other with very little crossover. Other than the intriguingly dark world of Batman I never understood the appeal of the DC comics. Well I guess I understood the appeal of Wonder Woman but that likely had much more to do with the positive association with Linda Carter's breasts than with good art or story telling.

The only other DC offering I can recall enjoying were the Weird War Tales. You know like the story of a German sub in the closing days of the war that is loaded with a coffin as cargo and ordered to make for Argentina. On the way crew members start dying mysteriously and finally the captain pries open the coffin to discover the Fuhrer. He's alive! And he's a vampire! The sinister supernatural and war. They knew the path to a young boys heart.

But, as I mentioned before, I was a Marvel man. Thor, Captain America (better without his annoying sidekick Bucky), Spider Man, and Iron Man were my favorites. I couldn't get into the hero/anti-hero types like the Submariner and the Silver Surfer. The Silver Surfer switched from good to bad and back again more often than Hulk Hogan. Perhaps he was just misunderstood. Or maybe I already adopted my "simplistic" Bushian world view. You're either for us or again us. No half measures.

Same went for the Hulk. He'd go from saving an orphan from a burning building one minute to tossing cops around like rag dolls the next. Part of the pleasure of comic books for a kid is visualizing yourself as the hero. In the case of the Hulk I wanted no part of his life. Who would want so little control over your powers? One minute you're changing the tire on your car. The next you're flipping it over 'cause the lug nuts were rusty and you got pissed. Half an hour later you wake up in an alley shivering and shaking like you have the DTs, having no idea where your car is, and needing a new set of clothes (once again). No thanks.

What I find fascinating now is that when people write about their childhood comic preferences everyone acknowledges the Marvel/DC dichotomy yet nearly everyone claims to have been a Marvel loyalist. No one wants to cop to having had a preference for DC (excepting Seinfeld of course-Superman freak). And yet someone was buying the dreck that DC spit out in the 70's. Apparently since Marvel is now the "cool" comic it's just too embarrassing for people to admit that they favored DC.

It reminds me of the Members Only jacket mystery of the 80's. Today everyone says, "Yeah I remember all those dorks and their Member's Only jackets." But it's always someone else. No one I have ever spoken too admits to have been a member of the not so exclusive jacket sporting club. Well unless the MO crowd were all alien pods which have now been returned to the mother ship there are today, walking among us hundreds of thousands of people who once proudly donned their MO jackets. Fess up people. You were young and stupid. We understand.

One final comic book memory from my youth.

I was asked to feed our neighbor's cats and clean out their litter boxes (the cat's that is). Not a real fun job but when you're eleven money is tough to come by. On the first day of tending to my duties I found a carousel of books in the basement. Including some comic books. Apparently the people were selling them as a part time business out of their home.

Score! I'm going to be getting paid and I'm going to get to read comic books for free. Does it get any better?

I peruse the racks. Let's see what we got here. The Archies? Well definitely not my first choice but it's free so I guess I can't complain. Hmmmm.... The story line seems awfully bland even by Archie standards. What the!?! Oh no! Christian comics! They're all Christian comics!

For an eleven year old altar boy who went to Catholic school, was taught by nuns, and attended Mass at least twice a week (once at school, once on Sunday), I figured I already had plenty enough religion in my life without including it in my comics thank you very much.

Thankfully I still had a mint, unread Avengers comic waiting for me at home. Whew. That was close.

If He Only Had A Heart

Troubling news out of DC, with allegations that Senator Mark Dayton is ruthlessly targeting and dismissing Federal employees with disabilities:

Sen. Mark Dayton, D-Minn., has been sued by a former aide who alleges he was illegally fired after developing a heart condition. Brad Hanson, who served as Dayton's Minnesota office manager until September, said Dayton fired him after he met with the senator to discuss the need for an operation to correct his cardiac arrhythmia.

Profoundly disturbing news. Of course, the true facts of the case have yet to be determined. But adding fuel to the growing firestorm of controversy, Mark Dayton's office has refused to comment. A move a knowledgeable observer* claims is “very disturbing and suspiciously defensive and may lead one to the reasonable conclusion that indeed Mark Dayton really does hate the infirmed and handicapped.”

Until the investigation is allowed to proceed to its fullest extent, I of course won’t jump to any conclusions on Mark Dayton’s alleged moral failings and illegal employment practices. However it seems to me only two conclusions are possible:

Either Mark Dayton really does hate the infirmed and handicapped and will not rest until he sees all of them run out of government employment and left penniless and without prescription drug coverage.

Or, the employee in question was grossly incompetent, deserved to get fired, and is only now whining due to a philosophy of entitlement, leading him to believe should be generously compensated in perpetuity, no matter how bad he stunk out the joint. Given the fact that that this entitlement philosophy is possessed by 90% of Mark Dayton’s core constituency, his political future appears to be imperiled no matter how this case plays out.

We at Fraters will continue to monitor this story as updates occur. Until then we can only wait and worry.

(*Knowledgeable observation provided by noted Internet blogging scribe Saint Paul. For the purposes of this article, “knowledgeable” is defined as “not really knowing anything about the case.”)

What's That Crazy War Mongering Cowboy Doing Now?

From the Kansas City Star:

SEOUL, South Korea - The United States agreed Thursday to dismantle its bases and withdraw American troops from positions they have occupied for decades near the tense Demilitarized Zone separating South Korea from communist North Korea.

The troops will eventually be moved to "hub bases" at least 75 miles south of the Demilitarized Zone, according to a joint statement after two days of talks between U.S. and South Korean officials. Even after the redeployment, however, U.S. troops will continue to train north of Seoul and close to the DMZ, the statement said.

The redeployment will remove U.S. military bases from the Korean front line for the first time since the end of the 1950-53 Korean War. Plans for the redeployment were announced amid high tensions caused by an international standoff over North Korea's suspected developments of nuclear weapons.

I can't wait to hear the spin on how this is another example of Bush making the world a more dangerous place.

A Bad Idea That Just Keeps Spreading

The Star Tribune has joined a growing list of newspaper web sites that require you to register in order to view most of the content. Of course they claim that "it's fast and free!". Yes it is. But it was free before and even faster. I'm sure the brain wizards at the Strib would ask what's the big deal about setting up a password and then logging in. And if the Strib site was the only one you visited on a daily basis (my God would you have a warped view of the world) it would not be much of a concern. But for those of us who cruise the net checking out several blogs and news sites every day the notion of having to register at each stop seems absurd. I know that when I follow a link to a site that forces me to register to view the material I'm outta there.

Unfortunately since the Strib has proven to be a rich source of material in the past I will have to submit to the indignities of registration. This time. I did however whip out an e-mail expressing my displeasure at the imposition of this draconian practice by the Strib and I urge all of you to do the same here.

We're mad as hell and we're not going take it anymore! Well, we might take it. But we're not gonna like it damnit.

Past As Prologue?

A reader submits an earlier incident involving Mike Hatch and charitable contributions:

Ya see, Hatch the Demagogue has done all this before. As Commerce Commissioner, seven years under Perpich, then out to take the boss's job, he fines a Golden Valley insurance company, reputable outfit named Security Life, a total of $25,000 in charitible contributions. Well, "fine" is not the word, but part of the settlement. Hell, power-mad Mickey only held hostage that company's license to do biz in its home state, so what's a company to do? Pay up. Sort of an early Rainbow Coalition-type payoff deal, with Hatch specifying the charities. Guess who gets the loot in this little game of extortion?

Well, start with Duluth. His hometown is all, and base for his run at bing guv. Hatch earmarked half of the $25 grand to Duluth food shelves. The rest went to Iron Range food shelves, his diehard district come hell or high water. . .

So his on-the-table offer, likely illegal, and certainly "improper, " even under Strib's wierd PC standards, is held blameless, while the set-up job on Wilson is the media focus. Neat move! Demagogues do this all the time, and Get Away With It. Liberal bias, anyone?

Security Life case is old history now, going back in '89 or so, but proves, again, what goes around. . .

Separated At Birth?

Daniel Patrick Moynihan

and

That old dude from Gasoline Alley?

Thanks to Scott Herndon from Moore, Oklahoma.

Mike Hatch & The Star Tribune: Too Close For Comfort?

( Note: Regular reader and e-mail contributor EB has been pushing for a post on what appears to be less than objective reporting by the Minneapolis Star Tribune on Minnesota's Attorney General Mike Hatch. Hatch has always had a a cozy relationship with the paper and he's been a master at getting positive coverage from the Strib. I know from sources close to the action that a couple of years ago when Hatch was going after Allina Health System and their Medica HMO for mismanagement and excessive perks there was information that appeared in articles in the Strib that could only have been leaked to the paper by someone in Hatch's office or, as many theorized, by Hatch himself. It wasn't anything illegal and I realize that government agencies often use the media to advance their cases but it is interesting to keep in mind when you consider the paper has pretty much given him a free pass in this most recent controversy.

Since EB is quite passionate on the matter I'll let him explain the circumstances of this latest example of the Strib holding Hatch to a different standard than other public officials. The most recent Strib article on the matter (and the only one still available online) appeared on Friday May 23rd. What I find striking is that while the mere appearance of impropriety on the part of Commerce Commissioner Glenn Wilson was enough for the Strib to publish several articles, the fact that Hatch's original proposal to have the insurance company make a charitable donation was not legal is barely mentioned. And the auditor's report does state that "Although we do not think he violated the law, we are troubled by some aspects of the attorney general's actions," something which you would have thought worthy of attention instead of being buried near the end of the story. )

Here's what EB has to say on the matter:

Ordinarily, when the newspaper of record discovers that the State Attorney General negotiated a "settlement" with the insurance company it convicted of fraud to provide $3.5 million in "charitable donations" to selected charities in exchange for a statement of "no wrong-doing," favorable public relations coverage, and substantial deductions from its Federal tax return --the public is dutifully informed and the demand is raised for a criminal investigation of the public official who evidently solicited a bribe.

Not the Minneapolis Star Tribune. Instead the story focused on the AG's assertions that it was the incoming administration that took the bribe, which paradoxically, decided instead to go on record by imposing a $2 million fine payable to the Minnesota treasury and kicking the insurance company out of the state. Incredibly, it was the new Commerce Commissioner, not the Attorney General, who was the subject of the "investigation," demonstrating anew the best defense is a good offense.

Something is rotten in Denmark; the facts speak for themselves. Meanwhile, there's been scant mention of this story in the local broadcast media and the Star Tribune has kept it off the front pages. The investigation's "conclusion," which exonerated Commerce, was reported on a Friday, just before the Memorial Day weekend. The Star Tribune is trying to bury this story. Why?

Assuming the facts as reported are correct, the Attorney General proposed a "settlement" to an insurance company that, in exchange for "donations" made to his personally selected "charities," would allow it to avoid the legal, social and financial consequences of a fraud conviction in State court.

That this offer was still on the table when the Pawlenty Administration was inaugurated is not even in dispute. To obscure the obvious illegality of his actions, Hatch merely claimed that the Pawlenty Administration, in return for a campaign donation, reduced the amount of the "settlement," which the Star Tribune now seems in earnest to refer to as the original "fine."

The investigation centered on Commerce and its commissioner, Glenn Wilson, based solely on Mike Hatch's unsubstantiated allegations after the fact. They did not investigate who put the "settlement" offer on the table, they investigated those who rejected the offer. The issue was framed in the context of campaign donations, not in the context of the original proposal, which was a prima facie case for bribery and extortion.

The larger issue is that where there's smoke, there's fire. Imagine the cajones on Mike Hatch --that he is so certain of his invulnerability that he could put such a deal in play. It's as if Elliot Spitzer offered Merrill Lynch a chance to avoid conviction by donating $3.5 million to N.O.W. and the Rainbow Coalition.............it just doesn't pass the smell test, except in Minnesota apparently.

Given what's finally happened at The New York Times and the way the Star Tribune has circled its wagons around Mike Hatch, the time is ripe to shake this tree. It's a certainty this is not the first time such a "settlement" has been used. Rather, it's just the first time it's been exposed.

This is the Attorney General of Minnesota, for Chrissake. The standard is to avoid even the appearance of impropriety. In a state where the newspaper of record sees fit to challenge the governor's new SUV on the front pages, how is it that the illegal settlement offered to a Florida corporation convicted of insurance fraud by the State's Attorney General isn't even discussed?

Falling Into A WMD Trap?

The possibility that the Bush administration is holding back on fully disclosing Iraqi WMD finds was first broached (at least to my knowledge) by Hindrocket in a post at Powerline last Sunday. The critics of the administration who are now turning up the heat on the lack of WMDs found so far are advised to recall that in the past the Bush team has proved quite successful at letting their opponents air their arguments with little rebuttal and then, just when the opposition seems to be gaining the upper hand, to kick their legs out from under them. This occurred in the debate prior to passage of the first tax cut and time after time in the run up to the war with Iraq as the administration brilliantly pursued a strategy of setting 'em up and knocking 'em down. Is the WMD flap another trap waiting to be sprung?

Separated At Birth?

Nutty, estrogen deficient hack Molly Ivins, and...

...Nutty, testosterone deficient goof Larry Bud Melman?

Mr. Burns on the U.N.'s Oil For Food Program

"A non-profit organization with oil? I won't allow it! An oil well doesn't belong in the hands of Betsy Bleeding Heart and Maynard G Muskievote!"

The Prince Of Darkness Puts On A Luncheon

For a moment or two on Saturday I was fearful that I had shuffled off this mortal coil and ended up on the wrong side of the afterlife. What other explanation could there be for the C-Span sponsored Book TV presentation of the L.A. Book Expo's Author Luncheon that I was watching other than that I had been cast into the infernal fires of damnation?

To begin with the luncheon was hosted by former Congresswoman Pat Schroeder who seems to have that disturbing smile painted on her face. Her opening remarks were jumbled and barley articulate. Nervous teenagers in Speech 101 classes have better delivery and diction than Pat.

She finally managed to introduce the three authors who would be speaking at the luncheon.

Self obsessed, arrogant, bully boy Bill O'Reilly (if you don't believe my description check out his personal web site where you can be treated to pictures of such things as the hallway that Bill walks down, the desk Bill sits at, and the computer than Bill uses. I half expected to see a shot of the toilet where Bill performs his daily bowel movement and for members only a picture of the stool that Bill crapped out.) who has apparently cranked out another book to shill at every available opportunity, this one called 'Who's Looking Out For You?'. Let me me guess Bill the answer is you right? Bill appeared to be trying to bring back the Don Johnson inspired jacket with t-shirt look which served as a visual reminder of just what a pompous jackass O'Reilly really is.

Smug, always smirkin' Al Franken who also has a new book called 'Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right'. Will the witty titles never stop? Please Al you're killing me. I mean I'm already laughing and I haven't even opened the book yet. Seriously though do people really believe that Franken is funny? The last time I found him amusing in any manner was in 1983's ''Trading Places' in his memorable role as Baggage Handler #1.

Finally to round out (no pun intended) the panel how about one of worst columnists in America, who's looking more and more these days like Drew Carrey in drag, Molly Ivins? Molly too has a new work coming out and surprise, surprise it's an attack on President Bush called 'Bushwhacked'. Again with the witty titles.

If this lineup wasn't a punishment for the damned than I don't know what is. Barring a possible substitution of Rosie O'Donnell can you imagine a less appealing collection of personalities?

But much to my relief the event turned out to be far more enjoyable than I had thought possible. Only a few moments in I realized that I had avoided the pits of Hades and was very much still among the living. And I was suddenly loving life.

My perspective on the nasty scrap between O'Reilly and Franken was akin to Truman's on the Nazi-Soviet fighting in 1941 ("If we see that Germany is winning the war, we ought to help the Russians, and if Russia is winning we ought to help Germany and in that way let them kill as many as possible.") in that I welcomed any damage inflicted on either participant.

But the true highlight for me (and no doubt lowlight for those unfortunate souls in attendance at the luncheon) was Molly's speech. For you see Molly bombed. Bombed badly. Horrendously. If I had any reserves of sympathy available for her (I don't) I would actually have felt pity. Instead I was cackling uproariously and slapping my knees like Mr. Burns watching Itchy butcher Scratchy like a hog ("Is all TV this wonderful?"). It was a beautifully brutal public failure by one of our country's poorest excuses for a writer.

I think the problem was that Molly speaks like she writes. Rambling, incoherent, babble that begins, goes, and ends nowhere. Somewhere along the line she might have a had a point to the whole thing but I (and the audience for that matter) was left completely in the dark as to what it was. Oh she tried to throw in some of that phony corn spun down home humor that's she's infamous for but every punch line was greeted not with laughter but merely the clanking of silverware on china as the audience tried hard to concentrate on the chicken cordon bleu on their plates and ignore Molly's pathetic performance. When you bomb at a luncheon you don't just get silence (or crickets chirping). You get the sounds of the audience going about the business of eating. Cutting up their meat. Stirring some sugar into their coffee. Asking the wait staff for a refill on their water. There is no hiding the fact that you're bombing as Molly clearly realized only minutes into her debacle.

And it wasn't as if it was a hostile crowd. When Pat Schroeder was giving her intro and delivering a shot or two at GW most of the audience was lapping it up. They wanted to hear Molly speak. They wanted to laugh and even cheer if appropriate. She completely failed to deliver anything they could react to. The priceless shots of the faces in the audience showed equal parts boredom, disappointment, and apathy.

Early on she stated that instead of a Dow Jones Average we needed a Doug Jones Average. No, she wasn't talking about former Indians pitcher Doug Jones (lifetime batting average .111) she was trying to use Doug Jones to represent the common man. I know, it didn't work with the luncheon crowd either. I can't recall too many other details from her speech and unfortunately transcripts are not available. She did mention the story of a rancher in the West whose stream was supposedly poisoned by a corporation and how all the rabbits on his ranch turned green. All Bush's fault of course and yes that's how bizarre and disconnected from reality her little talk was. When she finally wrapped it up with a typically classy Ivins remark about just how badly "screwed" ol' Doug Jones was going to be because of the evils of the Bush administration you could actually see and hear a collective sigh of relief go up from the audience followed by a smattering of polite applause and murmurs of, "Thank God that's over with". And that came from the non-believers in the crowd. Just like in a foxhole there is no such thing as an atheist at a Molly Ivins speech.

It was then that I realized that, rather than being in hell, watching Molly flop like the latest Al Gore book was instead quite a heavenly experience for me.

The Good Old Days

Earlier today, the lovely Atomizerette and I were enjoying the sights, sounds and tastes of the 30th annual Grand Old Day in St. Paul. For those unfamiliar with the event, it is sort of a mini-State Fair. Grand Avenue is closed to traffic for the afternoon and the street is lined with food vendors, music stages and those ever present balloon and worthless trinket stands.

Having religiously attended the festival for nearly twenty years running, I have seen it develop from its modest early days as a fun local event to what is now the largest one day festival in the Midwest. There we were, listening to the soothing psychobilly sounds of the Reverend Horton Heat and enjoying temperatures in the mid 70s under a brilliant blue sky with a cold Summit Grand in my hand. Could it get any better than this, I asked myself? Well, yes. It has been better than this.

Back in the good old days of Grand Old Day, beer was an accepted component of the event. I dare say it was even the main component of the event. It wasn’t rare back then to see people walking down Grand Avenue with a little red wagon in tow. Were there giggling youngsters on the wagon, you ask? Sometimes there were, but more often than not it was a keg of beer. A keg of beer surrounded by bags of ice and lovingly wrapped with a blanket to keep the late spring sun from heating up its shiny silver exterior and spoiling the sweet nectar within.

If you didn’t want to haul a keg around with you for the entire afternoon, there was no reason to fret. There were plenty of beer stands along the entire 2.5 mile length of the street. You could walk from one end to the other and never fear that even one step had to be taken without the company of an ice cold beer.

Fast forward to today. In order for me to enjoy a beer, I had to stand in line to buy a wristband after proving my age to someone ten years younger than me. Then, I had to stand in line and show my newly acquired wristband, which was already cutting off the circulation to my fingers, to several security guards in order to be admitted to one of the “festival gardens” (what ever happened to beer gardens?). Once inside, I had the privilege of standing in line again to buy a ten ounce cup of moderately chilled beer which had to be consumed within the confines of this overcrowded pen. These procedures come close to accomplishing the impossible: taking the fun out of drinking beer.

All of these “improvements” to Grand Old Day have evolved over the years to make the event more family friendly. Now, I’m all for family fun, but can’t we drunks have an event that is primarily for our enjoyment? Let the families have their Minnesota State Fair and Taste of Minnesota. Let them have their Valleyfair and Camp Snoopy. Enjoy them all with your kids, but please, let me have just five hours on a beautiful spring day to drink beer in the streets and listen to some free music. Otherwise, I fear that I’ll just lock myself in my house with a half gallon of Bombay Sapphire and pound glass after glass with the stereo turned up to eleven while cursing at the neighbor kids as they trample my lawn. I can’t be doing that in my 30’s. That’s what my retirement days are for.