Crown Of Thorne

The stage was set. All four of the teams that I had picked had reached the Frozen Four in St. Louis. I was leading every pool that I was in. Side bets were placed with shady characters to maximize my winnings. Come Saturday, when North Dakota beat Maine to win the NCAA championship, I would bask in the glory and new found riches.

But a funny thing happened on the way to my coronation as "College Hockey King." First, the now once again hated Black Bears from Maine choked away an early two goal lead and lost to a very average Michigan State team. Then, the Fighting Sioux played an inconsistent and at times downright idiotic game against Boston College and fell 6-4. Nice hustle on that first empty-netter boys.

Just to add salt to my wounds, ESPN2 "gave" us the announcing tandem of Gary Thorne, the most overrated hockey announcer in history, and Barry Melrose. Melrose is pretty entertaining when he's talking NHL puck. But he knows nothing of the college game. Calling North Dakota "North Carolina" near the end of the game didn't exactly add to his college hockey cred.

Thorne is simply insufferable. Clichés drip from his tongue like a leaky faucet, he often makes elementary errors in describing the action, and incorrectly identifies the players. And yet, he's considered the best announcer in the game. I just don't get it.

I'd rather listen to that pompous Bahstan booster, who does some of the regional games from the East, and a milquetoast, yet competent announcer than be subjected to the Thorne/Melrose misery again.

Oh, Saturday's game? I don't see Boston College having much of problem with Michigan State. Let's say 5-2. But then again, what do I know?

JB Chimes:

Thorne is indeed one of the worst announcers ever. What amazes me about his career is how he oversaw a ridiculous rating decline during his long tenure at ESPN yet was never held responsible for the mass of viewers that left and never came back.

The man is a patsy, a brown-noser ("Who ever told you you could work with men? Where did you learn your trade? You fairy, you company man...I don't care whose nephew you are, I don't care whose *rump* you're *kissing*, you are going down. I am going to Mitch and Murray!" GGGR lines) . He glommed on to every new NHL trend and bullshit rule and toed the Gary Bettman line, accepting his new alien overlords with glee.

Rot Thorne, rot!

I would love to play Ricky Roma to his Williamson some day. And I wouldn't need the Glengarry leads or a Cadillac to do it.