Mass Casualties

Scott writes in regarding Mass Confusion:

JB,

Enjoyed your post about all the singing at Mass. I don't like it either. I'd much prefer to keep my hands to myself when praying, as well. Do you refuse others' grasps? It feel like a hippie thing to me.What about other Vatican II changes such as sharing the wine chalice andextending peace with a handshake to your neighbors? My mother dislikes thatstuff, as well, but I don't mind so much.

I don't mind the standard sign of peace, but it has gotten way out of...err...hand now with all these flesh exchanges. Last mass, I counted THREE! such exchanges. First of all, our parish often employs a WalMart-ian Greeter and people actually form a line behind this individual as they shake each and every parishioner's hand as they enter church. This is madness. Not only does it cause a bottleneck at the doors, it's just plain silly. The latest way around this I have come up with is to wave my boy's hand as I'm carrying him--seems to work.

Next, as I have to barge my way into a pew as someone pretends not to see me standing 6 inches from their nose, they get on the microphone to announce "As a sign of community, let us all greet those around us." Noooo! Okay? It's early, I'm hung-over and more importantly, I'm a Minnesotan. We don't like talking to strangers. We don't like pasting on fake smiles to make it seem like we care who is sitting in the pew behind us and engaging in that insipid head shaking to acknowledge the presence of others. Next time this comes up I plan on remaining stoic.

And third is the classic sign of peace. Fine. There. Shake. I don't mind this one per se, but after two other exchanges it feels gratuitous.