Reading the list of supposed conservative rock songs by John J. Miller, I have to laugh. The vast majority are vague songs that could go either way and at least one is patent leftist drivel. I've taken the time to go through them all and point out which ones should even be on the list (no need to thank me):
1. "Won't Get Fooled Again," by The Who.
Pissed off hippies that jumped on a bandwagon that didn't produce the revolution they expected. NOT CONSERVATIVE
2. "Taxman," by The Beatles.
I'll say CONSERVATIVE
3. "Sympathy for the Devil," by The Rolling Stones.
Comparing this song to the Screwtape Letters is folly. NOT CONSERVATIVE.
4. "Sweet Home Alabama," by Lynyrd Skynyrd.
Clearly CONSERVATIVE
5. "Wouldn't It Be Nice," by The Beach Boys.
It is not necessarily pro-abstinence or pro anything else conservative. The line "There wouldn't be single thing we couldn't do" doesn't necessarily mean sex. And considering Brian Wilson was sleeping over at his girlfriend's house in high school WITH her parents permission--NOT CONSERVATIVE.
6. "Gloria," by U2.
I'll use Miller's own words to indict him on this one: Just because a rock song is about faith doesn't mean that it's conservative. NOT CONSERVATIVE
7. "Revolution," by The Beatles.
The point of the song is that the really radical radicals among the radicals were screwing things up for them. It isn't an embrace of anything conservative. NOT CONSERVATIVE
8. "Bodies," by The Sex Pistols.
Punk is for disaffected teens and those who should know better so I don't listen to it and never did even when it was cool to do so. CAN'T SAY
9. "Don't Tread on Me," by Metallica.
CONSERVATIVE
10. "20th Century Man," by The Kinks.
CONSERVATIVE
11. "The Trees," by Rush.
CONSERVATIVE
12. "Neighborhood Bully," by Bob Dylan.
Who knows what the hell he's singing about (the problem with irony), but I'll grant it. CONSERVATIVE
13. "My City Was Gone," by The Pretenders.
Teenage sentimentality and typical leftist whining at progress. NOT CONSERVATIVE (even if you are a crunchy con)
14. "Right Here, Right Now," by Jesus Jones.
Vague as to what the little guy is talking about. There is no clear message, so NOT CONSERVATIVE
15. "I Fought the Law," by The Crickets.
Miller called this The original law-and-order classic, WTF? I've never considered it a law and order classic by any stretch of the imagination and since both snotty English socialists The Clash and snotty American socialists Green Day BOTH covered it, I say NOT CONSERVATIVE
16. "Get Over It," by The Eagles.
CONSERVATIVE. Who knew that the man (Don Henley) who referred to Reagan as "A tried old man" in the song "The End of The Innocence" and was an outspoken enviro would be part of something like this. CONSERVATIVE
17. "Stay Together for the Kids," by Blink 182.
CONSERVATIVE
18. "Cult of Personality," by Living Colour.
Another huge stretch by Miller on this one. Nothing terribly conservative about the message that people like strong leaders and it's, like, bad and stuff. NOT CONSERVATIVE
19. "Kicks," by Paul Revere and the Raiders.
CONSERVATIVE
20. "Rock the Casbah," by The Clash.
Nothing conservative in the lyrics once again. A song is on the list because some army guys request it in Iraq? NOT CONSERVATIVE
21. "Heroes," by David Bowie.
I have a hard time believing David Bowie would write anything conservative and the lyrical evidence is flimsy, so NOT CONSERVATIVE
22. "Red Barchetta," by Rush.
Pretty weak, but I'll grant it. CONSERVATIVE
23. "Brick," by Ben Folds Five.
SP used to have this CD and pointed out the message to me several years ago. CONSERVATIVE
24. "Der Kommissar," by After the Fire.
How do we know it's about East German life and not West German? Or even life in America? NOT CONSERVATIVE
25. "The Battle of Evermore," by Led Zeppelin.
Miller said there were allusions to a cold war metaphor. What bong is he hitting? There's a bunch of mystical hippie-stoner nonsense and some LOTR references, but nothing conservative. NOT CONSERVATIVE
26. "Capitalism," by Oingo Boingo.
Being a life-long heterosexual, I've never listened to Oingo Boingo, but Miller makes a strong case for this one. CONSERVATIVE
27. "Obvious Song," by Joe Jackson.
On this one, Miller claimed For property rights and economic development, and against liberal hypocrisy... Complete hogwash. When you look at the rest of the lyrics you see it shows a typical leftist worldview:
And the stars are looking down
Through a hole in the sky
And if they can see, they cry
That's obvious
And the walls are coming down
Between the west and the east
You don't have to be a hippie to believe in peace
That's obvious . . . obvious
There was a kid in the city selling crack to get by
Got caught one day with a gun in his hand
When a voice said, Okay, get 'em up in the air
You're too young to live like this
But you ain't too fast to die.
Just another foot-soldier in a stupid little war
Another sound-bite on the American scene
Caught between the supplier only dreaming of money
And the demand of the man with money
Who needs a little help to dream
So we starve all the teachers
And recruit more Marines
How come we don't even know what that means
It's obvious
OBVIOUSLY NOT CONSERVATIVE JOHN J. FLIPPIN' MILLER!
28. "Janie's Got a Gun," by Aerosmith.
Feminist fantasy about taking revenge on an abuser. NOT CONSERVATIVE
29. "Rime of the Ancient Mariner," by Iron Maiden.
Pretentious English rocker drivel with absolutely no conservative message. NOT CONSERVATIVE
30. "You Can't Be Too Strong," by Graham Parker.
CONSERVATIVE
31. "Small Town," by John Mellencamp.
Not political either way. It's a song about living in a small town. NOT CONSERVATIVE
32. "Keep Your Hands to Yourself," by The Georgia Satellites.
Miller claims (with a straight face) "with lyrics that affirm old-time sexual mores" Affirm? The protagonist in the song is making fun of the woman that says no huggy no kissy 'til I get a wedding ring. NOT CONSERVATIVE
33. "You Can't Always Get What You Want," by The Rolling Stones.
Again, nothing clearly conservative in any way. Although some people think the song references my home town of Excelsior, MN with the references to local crazy "Mr. Jimmy." The Stones played there in '65 at the amusement park. Anyway, NOT CONSERVATIVE
34. "Godzilla," by Blue Oyster Cult.
Miller said A 1977 classic about a big green monster--and more: "History shows again and again / How nature points up the folly of men." And how is that conservative? NOT CONSERVATIVE
35. "Who'll Stop the Rain," by Creedence Clearwater Revival.
Written as an anti-Vietnam War song,...and Miller still has the cahones to convince his readers that it's somehow conservative? Another WTF moment. NOT CONSERVATIVE
36. "Government Cheese," by The Rainmakers.
I loved this song when I was in high scrool. CONSERVATIVE
37. "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down," by The Band.
Despite its sins, the American South always has been about more than racism--this song captures its pride and tradition. Another huge WTF moment from Miller. The traveling hippie is refused a room by the oppressive inn keeper--how is that conservative? NOT CONSERVATIVE
38. "I Can't Drive 55," by Sammy Hagar.
Socialists like to speed too. NOT CONSERVATIVE
39. "Property Line," by The Marshall Tucker Band.
Liberals like their property too. They might want to raise taxes on YOURS, but...NOT CONSERVATIVE
40. "Wake Up Little Susie," by The Everly Brothers.
Good one (finally). CONSERVATIVE
41. "The Icicle Melts," by The Cranberries.
A pro-life tune sung by Irish warbler Dolores O'Riordan: "I don't know what's happening to people today / When a child, he was taken away 'Cause nine months is too long." Yeah, and "Linger" is about a child lingering during a partial-birth abortion...but, okay, CONSERVATIVE
42. "Everybody's a Victim, by The Proclaimers.
CONSERVATIVE
43. "Wonderful," by Everclear.
A child's take on divorce is how Miller describes it. NOT CONSERVATIVE
44. "Two Sisters," by The Kinks.
CONSERVATIVE
45. "Taxman, Mr. Thief," by Cheap Trick.
CONSERVATIVE
46. "Wind of Change," by The Scorpions.
Simply a description of what was happening with The Wall. Nothing conservative, so NOT CONSERVATIVE
47. "One," Creed
CONSERVATIVE
48. "Why Don't You Get a Job," by The Offspring.
CONSERVATIVE
49. "Abortion," by Kid Rock. buy CD on Amazon.com
CONSERVATIVE
50. "Stand By Your Man," by Tammy Wynette.
Just because Motorhead covered it, doesn't mean it's a rock song. Doesn't count because it's country. NOT A ROCK SONG
I come up with 22 out of 50 that even remotely qualify as conservative.
I could probably name 22 country songs that are conservative off the top of my head and this is the best list Miller--with the power of his readers--could muster?
Back to the drawing board Miller.
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