Monday, March 10, 2008

Schadenfood

Saturday night, I attended the Gopher hockey game with the Nihilist In Golf Pants. It was the last home game of the season for the squad and the first game that I've been at all year. Fittingly, the Gophers played lazy, lackadaisical hockey and lost to the UMD Bulldogs 3-2. The outcome of the game didn't impact their standing in the WCHA (seventh place), but it was not the way they wanted to close out the regular season.

Other than a couple of decent scraps (much more of that in the WCHA this year), there wasn't a lot to get excited about. As a substitute for action on the ice, The Nihilist spent most of his time thinking and talking about food. What was and what was not available at the Mariucci Arena concessions (and how much it cost) became something of an obsession for him.

After he was unable to find potato chips early in the evening, he noticed the Old Dutch logo on the boards. That set him off on a flurry of denunciation, speculation, and promises of recrimination. The only thing that saved Joe Maturi from receiving an torrent of abusive e-mails, phone calls, and internet hit pieces was The Nihilist discovering--between the second and third periods--that the Famous Dave's stand did indeed carry potato chips. Old Dutch in fact.

My personal highlight of the evening came in the third period when the Subway giveaway was announced. During each game, everyone seated in a particular row in a particular section receives a free Subway sandwich. We were seated on the aisle in row eight of section eleven. Saturday's winners of the free Subways were in row eight of...

....section ten. When the people across from The Nihilist (no more than four feet away) realized that they were going to be the recipients of free Subway they began to celebrate and carry on. The Nihilist reacted as if his dog had just been run over by a car. Crestfallen doesn't even begin to describe the look on his face.

Of course, being a caring and sensitive type, I leaned over and sympathized, "Wow. You were that close to getting a free sub. That's a shame."

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