Jay Larson Is Buttah!

Over the last five years there have been a lot of great spectacles at the Minnesota State Fair.

* JB Doubtless surrendering whatever slight amount of dignity he still had by wolfing down a Scotch Egg:




* Hugh Hewitt donning a hockey helmet:




* John Hinderaker getting busy with a corn dog:




* Mitch Berg laying an egg:

YouTube-The Lost Bird Tapes

* Hugh Hewitt's producer Duane Patterson milking a cow:




* And more sloppy Scotch Egg eating contests than any human should be forced to announce (thanks King):

YouTube-NARN eating contest at the MN State Fair

But nothing could have prepared us for what took place last Saturday as the first ever NARN Butter Carving Contest went down live over the radio airwaves. What made the event so very special was not just five contestants slaving over one-pound slabs of butter for fifteen minutes to demonstrate their artistic vision. No, it was the subject of their sculpting that made this a truly unforgettable moment in State Fair radio history.

For they were tasked with turning their rectangles of hard Minnesota-made butter into visages of Jay "Gravedigger" Larson. That's right, "Long-suffering" Jay Larson (as he's probably better known to the world as), long-time promotions manager at AM1280 The Patriot, long-time victim of merciless mocking by Hugh Hewitt and his producer Duane, now working with people who he can more easily keep up with (the dead), was the "model" for our would-be butter artists.

Needless to say this wasn't the first time that the words "butter" and "Jay Larson" were used in a sentence, but it definitely was the most interesting. You can listen to an audio clip of Jay Larson becoming butter here.

Carving anything in butter is not easy, but trying to capture the essence of Jay Larson proved to be an exceptional challenge.




Our five contestants worked feverishly to make their butter as lifelike as possible (or at least as lifelike as Jay).

Overall, they did a very impressive job. Cute as a button Erin took home the blue ribbon for the Under Six division with her rather frightening interpretation of Jay (not the first time that he's scared children.)




The adult entries were all skillfully crafted:







But none could match the detail, aesthetic sensibility, and beauty in butter of our winner, another Erin from St. Cloud:







She truly captured the soul of Jay Larson in rich, creamy butter.

Our only regret is that we were not able to preseve the sculptures themselves for posterity. We didn't have facilties on hand to store them so Jay voluteered to personally dispose of the art. In hindsight, it does seem a little suscpicious that he was licking his fingers the rest of the afternoon.

For more radio gold at the State Fair, tune in to the First Team of the Northern Alliance Radio Network tomorrow from 11am-1pm. In the first hour, Brian and John are going to find out who has been planting the political seed art that crops up every year at the Fair. In the second, they will host the traditional NARN Scotch Egg eating contest (with prizes) and get to the bottom of who this Sewer Man really is and why he's so interested in what happens in the privacy of people's bathrooms.

Due to some unforeseen circumstances, I will be out of town and not be able to join the fun, but you had better believe that I will be listening live on the internet stream to all six hours of the Northern Alliance's final Fair broadcast of 2007. Don't you dare miss it.