MadLib

Tom e-mails:

Do you think Nick Coleman (aka "Sperm Lucky"--my pet nick name for him) had this column in storage ready to be broken out in the event of a tragedy / accident / terrorist attack? It strikes me as formulaic even for him. Does anyone else think he has a collection "MadLib" Screeds in his drawer, ready to reproduce as needed?

Sperm Lucky's MadLib for the Day After Something Really Bad Happens

"Republican's are __________ (mean, evil, scum, all of the above). Yesterday's __________ (bridge collapse, plane flying into a skyscraper, cabin up nord being out of reach for the workin man) proves it. If only the Republican's had __________ (voted for higher taxes on the rich, voted for higher taxes on the rich, voted for higher taxes on the rich) this tragedy could have been averted. Yes, Republican's personify pure evil, but this is not a partisan outrage. I hear that some __________ (DFLer's, Progressive's, Communist's) think that the people should have some say in prioritizing how tax revenues are collected and spent. Back in Daddy's day, er, back in the day, __________ (Glorious, Glorious, Glorious) DFL leadership dictated to the masses how much of their wages they could have. This is what made Minnesota better than __________ (Alabama, Haiti, Texas). We need to get back to a time when the __________ (people, proletariat, workin folks) act like the indolent boobs they were then. You people are far too uppity--now look what you have done. Because of your __________ (Tax Payer's League, No New Taxes Pledges, voting for Republican's), people are dead--I hope that you __________ (are ashamed of yourselves, will know better next November, are ready to commit suicide) over this incident."

Since it has been rumored that Sperm Lucky recycles columns from his Pioneer Press days, is it really far off that columns are pre-written for various tragedies to capitalize on the political opportunities they might present?

Ready to cancel even the Sunday edition (sorry kids, no comics for you).