Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Wheel of Misfortune

You have to applaud the consistency of the E! Network, extending their trademark sensitivity and tact to even celebrity medical updates. Headline yesterday:

Alex Trebek Jeopardized By Heart Attack

If the E! headline writers can't release their natural punning instincts on game show hosts with grave medical conditions, who can they do it to?

With that in mind, keep you eyes out for the following headlines on E! in the years to come (unless of course any of these people already happen to be dead).

Pat Sajak's Vital Signs Land on Bankrupt

Dick Clark's Heart Doesn't Have a Good Beat and You Can't Dance to It

Bob Barker's Pulse Comes on Down!

Richard Dawson: Can We See Cirrhosis!?

Wink Martindale: Tic Tac Dead!

Jack Barry: Joker!, Joker! Oooooh Things that Give You Cancer

UPDATE: Sisyphus sends in a few more:

Regis Philbin Gives Final Answer

Gene Rayburn Is As Dead As a Blank

No Deal For Howie Mandel

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