Makin' their way, The only way they know how

Ever since Atomizer upgraded to the Hallmark "Sweetheart Package" (all seven Hallmark Channels in HD!), we've been getting bombarded with press releases promoting their new programs. The latest and greatest arrived in my e-mail box yesterday:

In Hallmark Channel's Memorial Day Weekend film "Shark Swarm," when a greedy developer kills off the fish population by dumping toxic waste into the waters off a coastal California town, the residents find themselves tormented by packs of sharks that are suddenly and aggressively hunting anything that moves. Although the plot makes for an exciting story, the film's stars--Daryl Hannah, John Schneider & Armand Assante--took the 'Green Vs Mean' message to heart, and with Earth Day 2008 (April 22) rapidly approaching, are using the opportunity to get the word out about key issues affecting the world we live in.

Actors taking advantage of their "fame" (I use the term lightly here) to try to promote a cause? Imagine that.

Daryl Hannah, who plays Brooke Wilder, wife of John Schneider's character, has long been an outspoken advocate for Bio-Fuels and environmentally sustainable lifestyles. "I believe we're at a crisis point," says the actress, whose eco-friendly home has been 'off the grid' for many years. "It's encouraging to recognize that these issues are no longer partisan matters. Every choice we make has an effect on the world around us. If you think about the decisions you make on a daily basis--what to eat or buy, how to get around town, and so on--each of those choices can have positive or negative ramifications.

Choices have ramifications? Pretty vacuous stuff, but standard fare for the thespian community. However, Hannah's remarks look positively Aristotelian when compared to those of her costar (who I believe did his best work in Dream House):

John Schneider, Hannah's costar and onscreen husband, agrees. "This isn't a new problem," the actor says. "There are ancient records of major port cities in Europe that literally disappeared because all of the city's waste was tossed into the bay. Over time, the water receded and the entire bay was a landfill, all the wildlife was gone, and a center of commerce was lost. This could easily happen today."

Easily. One day people just start throwing their trash in the water, pretty soon--before anyone notices--the entire bay is a landfill. Are you listening Boston? San Francisco? It could happen to you. Easily.

"Shark Swarm," a three-hour Hallmark Channel Original Movie Event, premieres Sunday, May 25 (8/7c). We know Atomizer will be glued, rooting for green to truimph over mean.

UPDATE-- Bobby from LA e-mails to query:

I just have to ask regarding this:

"when a greedy developer kills off the fish population by dumping toxic waste into the waters off a coastal California town, the residents find themselves tormented by packs of sharks that are suddenly and aggressively hunting anything that moves."

Wouldn't the toxic waste kill (or seriously impair) the sharks as well?

Well, I'm certainly no John Schneider when it comes to these matters, but it does seem a little fishy doesn't it? I'm also not quite clear on what a developer would be doing with toxic waste or why he would want to dump it into the ocean (other than to be mean). I guess we'll have to tune in on May 25th to answer these burning (and itching) questions. This movie sounds like it's ready made for MST3K-like mockery. Paging Mike Nelson...