The Star Tribune reports thousands of $20 and $50 bills, floating about in the car exhaust at I94 and Dale this morning. No this wasn't the latest way for the Saint Paul School Board to distribute their latest massive increase of funding via increased property taxes. (Although given their history academic performance, I can't imagine this method could produce any worse results).
Apparently a bag of money fell off of an armored truck, which was operated by the American Security Corporation. And as an American, I'm ready to enlist in any class action defamation of character law suit any of our ambulance-chasing lawyerly readers might want to gin up. If Voltaire were still around, and scribing an uninspired and dreary editorial column for one of the local dailies, he might write (pending a successful investigation of the national origin of the company's owners and of its corporate charter): "The American Security Corporation is neither American nor Secure nor a Corporation." I hereby grant Joe Soucheray and Doug Grow complete rights to that phrase, without even needing to cite me as a source.
Needless to say, by the time by the time I dragged myself away from the blissful bonds of slumber and onto the highway of broken dreams, there wasn't a red cent of easy money to be found. But I will say in my wake I did leave copious amounts of antifreeze from my coolant reservoir, as I've been having a bit of a leakage issue the past few days. The car's in the shop now. Developing....
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