Other Than Hockey What Are They Good For?

Jonah Goldberg has an amusing piece in the November 25th edition of National Review called 'Bomb Canada' which examines the history of U.S./Canadian relations and figures it's high time to slap Canada around a bit to shake them up much like a big brother might do to a younger brother to toughen him up (a parallel incidentally that I would extend to me and my own brother with me playing the role of the U.S. of course). Unfortunately it is not available on line but here's a quick look at what I found to be the highlights:

Canadians have long talked about how they are a "moral superpower" and a nation of peacekeepers, not warriors. While they were never in fact a moral superpower--when was the last time a dictator said, "We'd better not, the Canadians might admonish us"?

Canadians were at one time a nation of peacekeepers who helped enforce U.N. brokered deals around the world (Suez 1956, Congo 1960, etc.). Today, Canada ranks Number 37 as a peacekeeping nation in terms of committed troops and resources, and it spends less than half the average of the skinflint defense budgets of NATO. Chretien talks about not sending troops to Iraq; in truth, even if Chretien wanted to join the Iraq invasion, Canada's role would be like Jamaica's at the Winter Olympics--a noble and heartwarming gesture, but a gesture nonetheless.

And....

Canada is, quite simply, not a serious country anymore. It has internalized the assumptions of U.N.-ology: not just anti-Americanism but also the belief that Western nations don't need military might. As a consequence, they are simply unarmed. If al-Qaeda launched a September 11-style attack from Canadian soil, we would have only two choices: ask Canada to take charge, or take charge ourselves. The predictable--and necessary--U.S. action would spark outrage. We certainly don't need the burden of turning "the world's longest undefended border" into one of the world's longest defended ones. And that's why a little invasion is precisely what Canada needs. In the past, Canada has responded to real threats with courage and conviction (some say more Canadians went south to enlist for war in Vietnam than Americans went north to dodge it). If the U.S. were to launch a quick raid, blow up some symbolic but unoccupied structure--Toronto's CN Tower, or an empty hockey stadium--Canada would rearm overnight.

My preference would be for blowing up the CN Tower. A hockey stadium actually is useful.