Painting The Field Purple

Amid rising levels of sectarian violence in the local blogosphere, the worst fears appear to have been realized and civil war is imminent. In fact, planning for the first large scale battle is already underway.

Yes, it really is true, Kevin from Eckernet is attempting to organize a paintball showdown:

Ok, I hope to be putting together a Battle Royale of the Blogosphere on a field of combat. Yes, I'm trying to put together an Minnesota Blogosphere Paintball game.

The particulars are yet to be decided (or even thought about) but for now I am trying to guage interest. Preferably I would like to have the teams be the Right side of the Blogosphere vs the Left side of the Blogosphere. So hopefully we can get enough interest from both sides.

Gonna try to work in a charity in there as well. Not sure if I should just pick one or if the proceeds go to the charity of the victor's choice.

I imagine the lefty bloggers will be using blue paint and the righties red. If you're interested in participating, indicate so in the comments at Kevin's post.

Meanwhile, Rew from The Power Liberal is organizing the lefty legions and already is talking smack:

So here's the idea: righty blogger v lefty blogger paintball tourney. Of course, the lefties have a huge advantage, as we don't have nearly as many yellow elephants running around, but I think they can make up for it with their obvious fascination with guns.

We're thinking end of summer, begining of fall. And by begining of fall I mean, of course, that they will fall quickly to the ground because of our accuracy and prowess. Let meknow if you're interested, and, if you can show me which end of the gun things come out of, cause i just don't know...

When I first heard about Kevin's idea, I thought it would be like shooting fish in a barrel for the starboard side sharpshooters. With gun nuts like Mitch and Kevin and wild-eyed men like Swiftee (imagine the Scots from "Braveheart") leading the charge, it would seem all but certain that the righties would sweep the lefties from the field of battle like the Gopher hockey team sweeping one of the outmanned ECAC squads.

Then I realized that many of the local lefty bloggers are urban dwellers, thus giving them plenty of real life experience coming under fire and dodging bullets, especially those living in Minneapolis. It might not be such a cakewalk after all (although I'm certain that we'll be welcomed as liberators with flowers and chocolate).

Many questions will be answered when the two sides finally meet.

Will the lefties instigate the conflict and then beg the UN to intervene and declare a cease-fire?

Will Learned Foot really deploy the tactical nuclear paintball device as he's threatened?

Does Mark Gisleson still think that he has the 'nads to take a welt or two on his skin for a cause?

Will Kevin Ecker really live up to his pledge to treat enemy combatants captured on the field of battle according to the Geneva Conventions or should the lefties be worried about the dog collar and pair of panties in his trunk?

These questions and many others will only be answered once the dogs of paintball war are let slipped.