Fraters Libertas

Let's Win One For The New Year

It's that time of year again, folks. Yes, it is time again to sound the global warming klaxons and commence with the wailing and the gnashing (not to mention the kicking and the biting with the metal teeth and the pain in my glayven...mwa-hai!).

The World Meteorological Organization (one of those always infallible U.N. agencies) just released a report that placed 2004 as the fourth hottest year on record and all of the usual groups are making all of the usual dire predictions. Personally, I think we can all do better.

I remember the glory years of 1995 and 1997, both considered to be the hottest years of their time. And who can forget 1998. Good old '98 still holds the all time hottest year title to this day. 2000 was close for a while, but failed miserably down the stretch.

Then there were those bittersweet back to back years of 2001 and 2002 which both came just a hair short of reaching the grand prize.

Sure there were some lousy years in there like 1999 finishing fifth overall and 1996 finishing a disappointing "normal" but with just enough heart to place seventh in the hotly contested wettest-year competition.

I was a little disappointed with 2003's third place performance too but I figured that after a full four years of President Bush's personal jihad against Mother Earth, 2004 would come storming back with a vengeance...but fourth place?!?!? Come on people! Let's get our heads in the game!

Let's all start by driving alone...everywhere. This carpooling and public transit nonsense ain't going to jack up those temperatures. We need cars on the road, and fast...the bigger the better, too. All of that air out there isn't going to pollute itself!

And let's not forget about that ozone hole either, folks. Get out those aerosol spray cans and start gettin' jiggy with it.

I know it's going to be difficult, but with a little hard work and dedication from each and every one of you out there, we can all help make 2005 be the best year ever...or at least since 1861. Nothing much happened before then.