Conservatively Speaking

Congratulations go out to our friend Captain Ed Morrissey for his increasing encroachment into the world of mainstream media. His latest advances include getting selected to cover the Justice Sunday II program in Tennessee and also being added to the stellar roster of contributors to the
terrific Weekly Standard.

Not only is Ed nipping at Bill Kristol's heels in the world of punditry, he's fast breathing down the neck of Billy Crystal. Yes, the LIVE wit and wisdom of Captain Ed is now available via the Premiere Speakers Bureau.

Skimming through the ranks of other talent available through Premiere, I see another close personal friend of mine. No, not Kim Alexis--our relationship is probaby best described as "friendly acquaintances." Instead, I speak of John Hinderaker from Power Line, now available for your bar mitzvah or Gap grand opening for a mere $5,000. Some have questioned the value of Time Magazine's Blogger of the Year award. Now we have an answer: $2,000, the marginal rate of increase over Captain Ed's fee.

And both seemed to be woefully undepriced, at least according to Premiere standards for other talent. For example, Don Pryor, aka The World's Worst Waiter. His price $3,000.

Apparently Don does an interactive bit where he drops plates, stumbles into wedding cakes, and interrupts the real speakers scheduled to address your event. With hilarious consequences. For example:

[the speaker] begins by telling a joke at the end of which Don (from the banquet hall floor) yells out his punch line! The speaker then tries again with another joke whose punch line is stolen by Don!

If we ever lose John or Ed to the speaking circuit permanently, this guy sounds like he might fit right in on Northern Alliance Radio.

Or for $2,500 you can get Shellie Warren. She's a self-described: "Post abortive author and national speaker on sexual identity and misuse." Plus I understand she's a really lousy waiter.

Or, for that same price of $2,500, you could get eating disorder specialist and author Constance Rhodes. Who's dinner presentation seems to be a natural to be repeatedly interrupted by a lousy waiter.

Or for $7,500, you could get Rabbi Bob Alper and Ahmed Ahmed. Their act is described as:

One Arab. One Jew. Two Very Funny Guys.

Which, coincidentally, was the tag line for the Northern Alliance Radio Network, before JB Doubtless and Scott Johnson left the show.

In any regard, we salute the success of both Hinderaker and Morrissey. And we pass along this good news to all the radio listening public. You can hear both of these gentlemen for FREE on the Northern Alliance Radio Network every single week. Yes, every Saturday from 12 - 3 PM on AM1280 the Patriot, it's $8,000 of pure listening enjoyment. When you deduct the opportunity cost for the time spent listening to the utterances of Mitch Berg and Chad the Elder, you're still like 4 grand ahead. What a bargain! And we'll see you Saturday.