Fraters Libertas

Lager? I Don't Even Know Her

Summer and a man's thoughts to turn to refreshing, easy drinking brews. Ken Wells, a staff reporter from the Wall Street Journal, got together with a few of his poker buddies to rate some of the more popular lager beers from around the world:

I thought it would be good fun to compare lagers of all stripes -- pitting versions from the Big Three (Anheuser-Busch, Miller and Coors) against a slate of European imports and a handful of craft-brewed lagers. My picks ranged from German Beck's and the Czech Republic's Pilsner Urquell (yes, the famous beer is still being brewed) to U.S. lagers available in my local New Jersey shops -- including Brooklyn Pilsner from New York, Samuel Adams Boston Lager from Massachusetts and Yuengling Traditional Lager from Pennsylvania.

To see which lagers would go over best with a sampling of beer drinkers -- and whether they could discern a difference between them in a blind tasting -- I enlisted the guys in my monthly Friday-night poker group. These were open-mined tasters, who have sampled a good number of imports and microbrews but aren't averse to Budweiser, either.

And the winner is...

And our best beer? Heineken narrowly beat out Pilsner Urquell and Samuel Adams for the top spot. The panel called it smooth and drinkable but not cloyingly sweet, and with enough body and a hint of hops that it seemed a substantial member of the class. No one scored it lower than 6, but also not higher than an 8. No beer rated a 10 from any panelist, though Pilsner Urquell and Sam Adams each got one 9. "What this tells me," Jim said afterwards, "is that we are a middlebrow crowd who want beer that is a little special -- but not too special."

Not too special is a fine description of Heineken. Let's just say that it's not one of my favorites. I visited the Heineken brewery museum in Amsterdam last year and could barely finish the free tasting samples. I'll drink your free beer, but I won't enjoy it damnit.

I guess I should be happy that these yahoos didn't pick Bud, Coors, or Miller as their favorite lager. I would rank Heineken ahead of them but far behind the others that I have tasted, especially Sam Adams Lager and Pilsner Urquell. I'm never tried the Brooklyn Pilsner or the Victory Prima Pils (although I have enjoyed a couple of other Victory brews), but I can almost guarantee that I would like them more than Heineken. The same holds true for the Saranac Lager. I have sampled twelve different offerings from Saranac, including a Chocolate Lager and Dunkel Lager.

Something tells me that the crew that Wells selected to conduct these lager ratings have not developed much of a beer palate.

As for the guessing game, most of our long-time beer drinkers were unable to identify their favorites. One panelist correctly guessed three (Miller, Coors and Sam Adams), one got two correct and everybody else got only one. As for the King of Beers, only two of the five panelists were able to pick it out of the crowd.

If you can't pick out the distinctive (though far from pleasing) taste of Bud from a pack of beers, you're probably not exactly a go to guy when it comes to rating beer.