In the spirit of Chad's warning of disturbing news to come, I present this report from the LA Times about departing CBS News anchorman Bob Schieffer:
... he has a new career he's pursuing on the side: songwriting.
A longtime writer of romantic poems, Schieffer recently partnered with a composer to set a few of them to music. The results were so promising that he's met with a music industry executive about getting them recorded in Nashville.
"I'm very serious about this," the anchor said, reciting lyrics of one of his songs titled "There to Here":
Don't let this moment pass
we may not come this way again
don't know how we got from there to here
but here we are
let's make it last.
Is it just me, or does it seem like Schieffer's romantic poetry relies heavily on another songwriting Bob of note, Seger, and the lower-their-defenses, misdirection, pity screw masterpiece We've Got Tonight:
Still here we are,
Both of us lonely
We've got tonight, who needs tomorrow?
Lets make it last, lets find a way
Who knew Bob Schieffer was such a manipulative horndog?
As admirable as that may be, it cannot make up for the unpardonable sin of plagiarism. As with every practitioner of this dark art, even a modicum of investigation reveals a litany of past offenses.
For example, this romantic ode delivered to Al Gore on the CBS Evening News:
The Electoral College was a good idea that has outlived its usefulness.
We've spent enough time in the Electoral College
to graduate to something better
like electing the candidate who gets the most votes.
Which resembles almost identically the structure and emotional color of this Roy Orbison classic:
Cry-i-i-i-ng over you, cry-i-i-i-ng over you
Yes, now you're gone and from this moment on
I'll be crying, crying, crying, cry-i-i-ing
Yeah crying, crying, o-o-o-o-ver you
And this violet verse dedicated to Bush bashers everywhere:
The President said this week that we are winning
and that this violence just shows that the other side is getting desperate.
But if this is winning, you have to ask the question:
How much of this 'winning' can we stand?
Which appears to be lifted almost verbatim from this Gordon Lightfoot classic about infidelity and the resulting madness of self-deception (is it always about sex with this guy?!):
Sundown ya better take care
If I find you been creepin round my back stairs
Sometimes I think its a sin
When I feel like Im winnin when Im losin again
Some may decry the elevation of perky morning sprite Katy Couric to the helm of the CBS Evening News dreadnought. Me, I'll just be thankful for some original, and non R-rated, commentary.
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