Friday, November 10, 2006

The Best Medicine

If twenty-four straight hours of "Spongebob" isn't enough to cheer you up, you might want to check out Guns'n'butter, a new conservative satirical news site. Here's a sample:

DENVER -- Bruce Braunschweiger, the President of the National Association of Gay Male Escorts, abruptly resigned today after an evangelical Christian minister announced that the two had met regularly in a Denver motel room for prayer and Bible study.

At first, Braunschweiger denied the accusations, saying he only bought a large banana nut bread from the minister at a church bake sale last year, but never ate it. But after the association's directors ordered a search of Braunschweiger's office and found a King James Bible in his desk, he confessed to meeting and studying with the minister, Roy T. Newman of Colorado Springs.

"Not all of the accusations against me are true, but enough are true that I have been brutally and sadistically stripped of my office. And my clothes," Braunschweiger said in a prepared statement. "Through my virtuous and God-focused behavior, I have let down the entire gay male escort community. I took an oath to lead a life of debauchery, wickedness and reckless sexual abandon. Instead, I have secretly been clean, abstinent and prayerful. I deserve a spanking. A harsh, harsh spanking."

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