An Easy Solution To A Pesky Problem

So I'm in the booth last night votin' away and after hitting straight party R's for the 18th consecutive year, I flip the ballot and notice a ton of races that were non-partisan.

I froze for a second. What to do? I don't know anything about soil and water commissioners or local judges.

Then I noticed several candidates who had hypenated-names. Joann Highsmith-Browne or whatever. Using simple logic (the only kind I am capable of) I surmised that a hyphenated name usually means a feminist and a feminist usually means a liberal and a liberal usually means someone I will vote against.

I was able to take care of 4-5 races right off the bat with this method.

The second method (when no hyphens were present) was men getting the nod over women. I later learned my wife employed the very opposite tack, so I guess we cancelled each other out.