Tuesday, March 11, 2003

Steppin' Out With L'il Kim

A reader offers this observation:

While I was making dinner and listening to the news (Jennings and ABC, I think), there was a short film clip of soldiers marching and the promise that after the break ABC would be doing an in-depth story on North Korea.

What struck me was the film clip of (I assume) North Korean soldiers:

Have you ever noticed how goose-stepping is the standard march step for all fascist/socialist dictatorships? I mean the Nazis did of course (do Germans now?), the Russians did, the various (pretend) Arab armies that I've seen do it, and apparently now the North Koreans.

I mean, could this used an indirect proof of a totalitarian state?


Deep inside the bowels of Pyongyang the North Korean leadership is holding session:

Dear Leader: "Comrades despite our best attempts to brutalize our people with an authoritarian fist I just don't think the rest of the world is giving us props for just how totalitarian we are. We've built prison camps, starved millions, stifled all dissent, brainwashed our youth with an ruthless ideology, and created a cult of personality around me. But there's something missing. I can't quite put my finger on it."

Comrade General: "If I may be so bold beloved Dear Leader perhaps if we had our troops march the way the Germans used to, I think they called it "goose stepping"...."

Dear Leader: "That's it! Brilliant! I'll remember you when the next purge rolls around Comrade General. I knew I would come up with something if I thought about it long enough. In honor of the majestic Korean swan we shall call it the "swan step" and from now the People's Democratic Army will exclusively employ it when marching."

The rest of the room erupts in applause and chants of "all hail the Dear Leader!".

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