Fraters Libertas

Not Ready For Prime Time Playa

I have never been a talk radio show host. And it's been many years since I've called in to a talk radio show. But I listen to talk radio regularly and I've picked up some tips from those in the know about these things.


So the other day when Hugh Hewitt was looking for input on the Star Tribune's decision to publish the outrageous Scheer piece (was it intentional or are they just that oblivious?) I felt confident that the time had come to break my silence and join the fray.


After telling the screener who I was and what I wanted to discuss I was told that I'd be up shortly. While waiting through a commercial break I worked out my spiel from the opening words to the conclusion. Don't ask how's it going. Check. Don't mention the fact that you met Hugh in Minneapolis last January. Check. Do mention the blog. Check. End the call before the host does. Check. I was ready. I had my rap down.


This was going to be the best call of the day on Hugh's show. Maybe the best call he ever had. Hell, this was going to be the best damn call in the history of talk radio!


The commercial break is over and Hugh goes to some guy from California. The caller mentions David Horowitz. Beautiful! One of my talking points includes the Strib's misidentification of Horowitz a few years ago by an editorial columnist. Things couldn't be going better.


Then I'm up. "Chad from Minneapolis intentional or not intentional?"

Wait. This wasn't how the call was supposed to start. Resist the urge to panic. Suddenly my well-prepared script is thrown out the window and I have to improvise.

"Well Hugh I actually believe it was not intentional. While the Star Tribune editorial page is very left wing it is also very clueless..." I then relate the Horowitz story, which Hugh finds amusing. I'm just about to move on and unveil my true identity as one of the Fraters when I hear music being piped up. No! I'm not ready to go yet!

I feel like Ralphie from A Christmas Story at the department store as he clings to the top of the slide and blurts out:

"IwantanofficialRedRyder,carbineaction,twohundredshotrangemodelairriflewitha
compassinthestockandthisthingthattellstime!!!"

Except I say:

"BythewayHughthisisoneoftheguysfromFraterslibertasand...!!!"

But it's too late. The music is playing and they're going to another break. Like Ralphie I get the boot in the face and go careening down the slide. My call is over.

Next time I'll be much better. That I promise.