A Truly Hostile Work Environment
Long time reader BK relates the pain of violence inducing music in the workplace:
For over six months I have been free of the dreadful imposition of the office stereo system. This was due to the fact that in a fit of rage at hearing Train for the tenth time in four hours, I wheeled my chair under the speaker, leapt on top of it, thrust my hand into the ceiling plenum and ripped the offending wires from the their connections rendering the speaker more useless than it had ever been. Since that day, I have been working in relative peace.
Then...the sound technician showed up (cue ominous music). I couldn't help but snicker when he was discussing the sound system problems (there were many, most of which were not caused by me) with one of the partners. He couldn't figure out why the one speaker wasn't working. I desperately wanted to tell him that I had destroyed the speaker's ability to torment my every working minute and that if he were to fix the "problem" I would break every bone in both of his hands, nail his head to the floor and screw his pelvis to a cake stand. I restrained myself and now, the music is back.
This brings me to my point. Back when I disabled the source of my misery, I thought that there wasn't a radio station in the Twin Cities more annoying than Cities 97. I have been proven wrong this week. One of the drones in sector seven G had the bright idea to switch the station to Mix 104.1 (non-stop hits of the 80s). I have been praying that God strike me deaf ever since.
Is there a song more annoying than "Love Shack"? In Scandal's "The Warrior" (you know it: "Shooting at the walls of heartache...bang, bang"), what in God's name does the line "Your eyes touch me, physically" mean? Is he going to pluck out his orbs and massage her with them? Why wasn't Kenny Loggins killed in a devastating plane crash instead of Patsy Cline? Phil Collins made some of the most horrible dreck ever known to man. Van Halen really sucked without David Lee Roth. Then there's Journey, Def Leppard, Cyndi Lauper, the Knack, Bon Jovi, Night Ranger, et al.
My God in heaven. How in the world did I survive the 80s without ramming knitting needles into my ears?
