Fraters Libertas

Selected Not Elected

The fact the he's now trying to claim credit for the success of the Wild will not halt the building momentum of the campaign to recall Hugh Hewitt as Minnesota's Hockey Commissioner. Rather than trying to circulate a petition to the many thousands of you who have expressed an interest in joining the campaign we have decided to post a text, a declaration of our desires if you will, that you can easily copy and paste and e-mail to Governor Pawlenty. Be sure to copy Hugh on your e-mails as well to give him an idea just how restless the natives of Minnesota are getting.

Dear Governor Pawlenty:

When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the bonds which have connected them with their Hockey Commissioner, and to ask for another more suitable Commissioner to be appointed, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes that impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self evident, that all Hockey Commissioners are not created equal, that the people of Minnesota are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of hockey happiness, that whenever the Hockey Commissioner becomes destructive of these ends the people of the state which claims hockey as its sport and whose governor himself plays the game has a right to alter or abolish the office of Hockey Commissioner and institute a new Hockey Commissioner.

The history of the present Hockey Commissioner Hugh Hewitt is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute tyranny over the state of hockey in Minnesota. To prove this, let facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has never played hockey and has little understanding or appreciation of the finer points of the game.

He has mocked and belittled the hockey accomplishments of teams in the state even going so far as to compare the Gophers 2003 NCAA hockey title with synchronized swimming.

He has aided and abetted the enemy while the state is even now in the midst of hostilities by his support of the hated Ducks of Anaheim and his talking smack about our beloved Wild.

He lives in California.

Finally and perhaps most egregiously of all, he has continued to use the lame and tired expression "Minne-so-cold" when describing our state. It was marginally amusing the first time. Now it is beyond the pale and is an affront to the good people of Minnesota and anyone with a sense of humor.

We, therefore, the people of the great state of Minnesota, appealing to the supreme judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the name, and by authority of the good people of this state, solemnly publish and declare, that this state, ought to appoint a new Hockey Commissioner; that we are absolved from all allegiance to Hockey Commissioner Hugh Hewitt, and that all connection between us and Hockey Commissioner Hugh Hewitt, is and ought to be totally dissolved. And for the support of this petition, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine providence, we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor. Game on.