Does This Look Infected?

Yes, the reports are true. Your beloved Atomizer is badly wounded. I was coasting down a hill last Tuesday when I forgot the cardinal rune of in-line skating which is, and I cannot stress this enough folks, ALWAYS know where your feet are going. While this may appear to be a simple task to most of you, when the blades are strapped on and you’re heading downhill at 20 miles per, a simple misstep can be catastrophic.

I took a nasty spill and have been struggling to recover ever since. My left knee and calf are scraped up pretty bad and I have one hell of a bruise just below my left butt cheek. Try sitting on the commode with a six inch diameter contusion on your ass. You’d pay a hefty price for a package of Immodium in that instance, my friends, believe me.

But (no pun intended) I believe that the worst is over and, after several applications of Bacitracin and Hydrocortisone, I think I am ready for this weekend’s 75 mile skate to raise money for Multiple Sclerosis.

I sacrificed my body for the cause and am now joining the Elder in petitioning you folks for a monetary contribution. No amount is too small and, of course, no amount is too big. Help us out. Your donations are tax deductible and will go directly to the Minnesota chapter of the National Multiple Sclerosis Society. The Minnesota chapter provides services and programs to approximately 7,600 people with MS and their families throughout Minnesota and western Wisconsin.

If you don’t feel comfortable contributing to us but still want to support the cause, you can do so by calling toll free (800-582-5296) and deal directly with the M.S. Society.

Thanks to all who contribute and, trust me, the gang at Fraters does not get a cut of your donations. We are compassionate conservatives here, despite the contributions of JB Doubtless.