Tuesday, August 26, 2003

Hugh, Atomizer...Let's Go

Earlier this evening, I made my yearly excursion to the Minnesota State Fair. I didn't attend with the other gents last Friday to see James Lileks' national radio debut for the same reason that one member of the President's Cabinet is always absent from the State of the Union Address (Saint Paul took one for the team for the AM 1280-The Patriot boat cruise on Sunday).

My day was planned around one goal. I wanted to score a ride in Hugh Hewitt's Jaguar (graciously provided by Minneapolis Downtown Jaguar), which he promised to us in a promo he did for the local radio station that carries his program. I dragged the lovely Atomizerette and my wonderful parents with me to The Patriot's fairgrounds studio about 20 minutes prior to the show and, seeing Hugh hard at work behind the glass, approached the window with trepidation.

Hugh and I exchanged pleasantries, discussed the absence of my cohorts and then I broached the subject of the Jaguar. He had given the darn thing to Dennis Prager who was in town for a Wednesday live show at the fair. I was crushed, but Hugh did say that if I stuck around for a bit he would put me on the air at the end of the hour to discuss the blog. Having an incredibly large ego (like the rest of the Fraters boys), I decided to park myself in front of the booth and wait for the call from Hugh to come forward. At about 5:50 CDT, that call came and I was guided into the booth to share more pleasantries with Hugh. Or so I thought.

It all began innocently enough. The host and I were chatting during the commercial break while another gentleman, who Hugh introduced to me as his attorney Dwight Rabuse, stood quietly beside me. As we were about to come out of the break, Hugh informed me that Dwight and I would be sharing a microphone. I didn't think too much of it and was, in fact, very thankful that I would not be the only one on the spot since I had never appeared on a nationally syndicated radio program before and was a tad nervous.

The segment began with Hugh introducing his two guests but it degraded rapidly as I was mercilessly badgered by both Hugh and his attorney into ceding all control of the Fraters Libertas website to Mr. Hewitt. It seems that the Governor of Minnesota, Tim Pawlenty, in addition to appointing Hugh as the Commissioner of Hockey this past spring, has recently made him Master of the Horse and Sheriff of Latin. He and his attorney contend that as Sheriff of Latin, he has the legal right to our little blog. He even made a veiled threat on-air to take the very shirt off my back if I, or the other three Fraters, crossed him (considering the shirt that he was wearing, I can see why he would want mine).

What Hugh didn't know is that my father is a retired attorney. He was watching the carnage from just outside of the booth and was taking copious notes. He has since been busy assembling a crack team of attorneys, including my brother and his wife, in an attempt to wrest control of our blog back from the power mad Hugh Hewitt. The wheels are in motion for a mighty battle.

Don't mess with the Atomizers, Hugh. We love litigation. In fact, we eat litigation for breakfast. And don't think I've forgotten about that Jaguar ride.

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