The Horses Are Out Of the Barn & The Train Has Left the Station
Lileks is concerned about looking like a nerd?
Hah. Hah. As noted, they're great glasses, but they smudge like no other specs I've owned. But who cares? Not I! The glasses, you see, came with a lens-cleaning system. I got a bottle of cleaner and a nice soft cloth. Just a few minutes ago I used it for the first time, and as I refolded the cloth to return it to its plastic sleeve, I froze. I seized up in horror. My mind tumbled back 30 years to distant childhood, to a pal who also had the four-eyes badge. Good kid. Dear friend. But this guy's nerd-knob went to 11. And he was 110 percent classic nerd, too: metal mouth, slide rule, plastic pocket protector, little plastic pill box. Even if I hadn't liked him, I would have hung around with him, because next to him I was James Dean.
He always carried a kit for repairing his glasses -- tiny tools, screws the size of fat atoms. And he always had a little cloth and a squeeze bottle of lens-cleaning fluid. It was one of those things that just shrieked NERD.
And now here I was with the symbols of nerdhood in my hand. Unclean! Unclean! I shoved them in my satchel, and waited until I was back in my car, where I could use these nerdish tools in private, away from the scoffing eyes of the popular, glassless kids.
Now I have a great deal of respect for James. He is a hell of a writer and a heck of nice guy to boot. But isn't it a little late for him to start worrying about the nerd thing now? I mean that's kind of a done deal no?
His interest in sci-fi, comic books, computers, postcards, and Simpson's figures reeks of nerdishness. I'm not even going to play the Trek card. He's no Comic Book Guy (he is married after all) but he's not exactly a Ranier Wolfcastle alpha male either.
Don't deny your nature James. We can't all be strapping, finely chiseled specimens that embody manhood like Atomizer. The world needs nerds. Recall the immortal words of Gilbert from Revenge of the Nerds :
"I'm a nerd, and I'm pretty proud of it."
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