Fraters Libertas

The Slight is Right!

Dustbury, a distinguished, elder statesman of the blogosphere, chimes in with an endorsement of my advice to a young blogger from Saturday. In particular, he supports rule number 7 about lying as a means to gain respect. That rule once again is:

7) Devote lots of posts to shameless boasting about your own accomplishments and meaningful experiences. If necessary, feel free to exaggerate, misrepresent, and outright lie. You're the expert on you and it's very hard to get Fisked based on a post about the gourmet dinner you prepared last night for your drop dead gorgeous girlfriend. Don't be afraid of appearing arrogant. Readers want to be associated with the best and brightest. Who do you think they'd rather tell their friends is their favorite blogger, some guy who can analyze Howard Dean's position on health care reform, or some guy some guy who can analyze Howard Dean's position on health care reform AND is the undisputed master of the pan flute?

And Dustbury illustrates how this is done, with a first hand report from his recent dinner party.

So far as I can tell, he wants Dick Cheney to pay everyone's medical bills," Zamfir sniffed, and under the table, Sophia kicked me in the shins for inviting the guy in the first place on a night when she was hoping for something more, um, one on one, if you know what I mean.

Regarding coining a pithy disparaging word for your political enemies (rule #3), Dustbury reminds us that both: "asshat" and "idiotarian" are so two years ago.

He's quite correct. Surprisingly, my young protege himself, Spit Bull, came up with what may be the hateful slur of the next generation:

RE NUMBER 3: HOW ABOUT "CRETINISTAS"?

I like it. Not only does it call into question the intelligence of the Left while associating them with their pro-Communist sympathies of the past, it also subtly skewers the elitist privilege of Mac-Groveland private schooling. But since the understanding of this latter meaning is limited to the 5 square block area surrounding Cretin High School in St. Paul, I fear the name won't be widely appreciated.

That's why I turn to you dear readers. I'd like to hear YOUR suggestions for the next great zinger of the blogosphere. A concise combination of words that encapsulate everything that's wrong with the Left, while at the same time being highly insulting, vicious, and mildly obscene. Since that's the tone of the emails I typically get anyway, I predict no shortage of great suggestions. (But please, this time leave my mother out of this).

You know what I'm talking about, something that really hits people where they live, like "schlong-noscenti" or the "doofeoisie." So send your email my way, the winner is guaranteed a HUGE prize. That's right - a 'Deserve Victory!' bumper sticker.

(PS - If I never write about this again, all your suggestions sucked. Good luck).