Fraters Libertas

If I don't have a good shower I am not myself. I feel weak and ineffectual.

Over the Labor Day weekend one of the projects I undertook was to fix our shower. The problem was that after you were finished showering and the water was shut off it continued to drip out of the bath spigot. Over time the dripping increased incrementally and I was finally forced to take action. Long after my wife would have wished me to but after all I'm a busy man and can't afford to allow petty distractions to divert my attention from what's really important. Like watching the Twins game on TV.

Anyway after a bit of monkeying around I replaced the stems in both handles and the leaking problem was solved. While we were focused on the shower my wife decided that we should replace the shower head as well. I didn't have a problem with that as our existing shower head was becoming rusty and its performance was really nothing to brag about. Yes, a new shower head, capital idea that.

On Monday my wife picked out an acceptable replacement and it was installed shortly thereafter. The bright, gleaming stainless steel fixture looked quite impressive and we were both pleased with the result.

Until I took a shower later that day. I got into the shower ready to be blasted, exfoliated, and thoroughly cleansed by the rejuvenating waters of life. Instead I was greeted by an weak stream of water gently cascading onto my body. While such a stream might be appropriate in a landscape designed to promote tranquility it is not what I want in my shower. I don't want to be caressed in the shower, I want to be slapped around a bit. I like it rough. When I get out I want to know that I've been in a shower. With this new shower head I might as well be taking a bath. A frickin' bath!

After my initial shock wore off I desperately tried to adjust the shower head to improve the situation. No luck. That's when I noticed the markings on the side of the head: 'No more than 2.5 GPM'. Low flow? I don't like the sound of that. Low flow? D'oh!

A couple of things about this really infuriate me.

First I live in Minnesota. That's right Minnesota. Land of 10,000 lakes. And while it has been a dry summer we're not running out of water any time soon. You people in Arizona should have the low flow shower heads. We have to survive winter. We should at least be able to enjoy a decent shower.

Second is the approach to the problem (if in fact a water shortage problem even actually exists). Water is really a commodity (or it should be). We're billed for our water use by the city we live in. We pay for how much water we use. So if I decide that I want to have a shower that uses a lot of water I am paying for that privilege. Water is scarce? Charge more for it. If I don't want to pay so much each month I'll use less water. I'll take shorter showers. I'll choose to install a low flow shower head. But don't make every shower head low flow just because we want to conserve water. Same thing goes for toilets. If I want a toilet with enough flushing torque action to blast a small dog through the pipes then I should be able to get one. When it uses more water charge me for it. But let me make the choice. This crazy thing called the market has been in play for a long time and its record is pretty damned good.

This will not be allowed to stand. I'm now in the market for a Commando 450. I hear the Serbs are fanatic about their showers.