Fraters Libertas

"Mommy Can I Play Trivia Too?"

The time has come to out Atomizer. No, I'm not referring to the incident between him and Doubtless a few weeks ago in a camping trailer in Wisconsin. What goes on in the camper stays in the camper.

I am referring to his role on the Team K trivia team who once again regained their title as champions last Tuesday. First a quick note about our second place finish. We were missing an integral component of our squad as Saint Paul was fulfilling his civic duty (or perhaps still working off some of those community service hours in relation to the whole O'Gara's waitress stalking unpleasantness) by working as an election judge. In his place we brought in a friend of mine, much to JB's consternation. "He's a hockey player of 100% Irish descent? This is trivia, not a drinking contest for Chrissakes." But we still did quite well and by finishing second we scored free drink tickets which is the same prize as the winning team received. Now that we proved all we needed to prove about our ability to finish in the money at will at Tuesday night trivia we are moving on to other challenges. Unlike certain other teams we refuse to remain in our safety zone and are willing to push the envelope and explore new horizons. I guess youth does have its advantages after all.

Back to the subject at hand. Atomizer is about as essential to the success of Team K as utility infielder and notorious rally killer Denny Hocking is to the Twins. Wait. I'm being unfair to Denny Hocking (six words that I never thought I would utter). He's less valuable than Hocking. He's more like Rudy (Can I answer a question now? Huh? Can I? Please?). When Team K feels that they're comfortably ahead his parents might allow Atomizer to answer a question. That's right. His parents. This thirty six year old "man" plays on a trivia team with Mommy and Daddy. And little sis. Who actually contributes much more than poor Atomizer does.

Now playing trivia with your parents might not be such a bad thing (yeah right) but to claim credit for success that you have little or nothing to do with is inexcusable. I don't mind taking the needle from Ma or Pa K (although truth be told I'm not sure if the ol' man is much more of a factor than his son) but when Atomizer chimes in I have to draw the line. It's like the Bucs water boy trash talking after Warren Sapp makes a sack. It just ain't right.

He's been riding the apron strings of Mommy for too long. It's bad enough that she helps him write all his pieces for our blog (you should see his rough drafts-not pretty) and still makes his lunch everyday. The little notes that say "I wuv you" are a nice touch but it's time for the bird to leave the nest and fly on his own.

Which he actually is threatening to do. After we announced that we would be moving on to conquer Thursday nights Atomizer volunteered to join our team. My reaction was about as enthusiastic as when I heard horrible Twins announcer John Gordon breathlessly intone:

"The Twins have runners on second and third with nobody out. And Denny Hocking's comin' up!"

Woo-frickin'-hoo.