Fraters Libertas

Union Jacked

In theory, I suppose trade unions have a legitimate place in a free economic system. And, according to bumper sticker lore, they brought us the weekend, or the eight hour work day, or the seven habits of highly successful people, or the three martini lunch, or something. Full disclosure, I've been never had to deal with a union in regard to my employment. And my informed opinion is, I never want to. Sure, divorcing my job security from the quality of my output would be great (hello shovel leaning!). But the chronic burden associated with collectivizing my personal efforts and potential, not to put too fine a point on it, but that just seems like a destructive influence on my development as a human being.

When you get really get into a union's activities and see what they offer you, the net result seems to be nothing more than seething resentments and suspicions, rigorous formalization and abstraction of human relations, mountainous molehill complaint resolution, enforced (and faith-based) class conflict, and ultimately, loss of self-reliance and self-respect. None of which, by the way, are good for business. (Conducting business - remember that? The reason why someone hired you in the first place.)

Lest we forget, POWER is the main goal of unions. At least it is for our example from yesterday, the Minnesota Newspaper Guild Typographical Union. And the desire for power acquisition doesn't seem to stop at the board room doors. For not only does the Union want power over those that own a company. They also want power over those who work for a company. Actually, they DEMAND such power, because without it, they'd have no reason to exist.

The current contracts for the Newspaper Guild with the Star Tribune and Pioneer Press are posted online. Near the top of each are rather strongly worded provisions regarding the union membership requirements for any aspiring practitioner of the journalistic arts and sciences. You want to see an exercise of power? Here comes the pain:

SECTION 5. Guild membership in good standing shall be required as a condition of employment for:

a) All present members in all departments;

(b) All employees who become members;

(c) All employees hired after the effective date of this contract except in advertising and editorial departments, where at least four out of every five persons hired shall become members.

SECTION 6. Employment of persons referred to in Section 5 shall be terminated by the Publisher within 30 days upon notice by the Guild of suspension or expulsion of such member for non-payment of Guild dues.

Don't pay your union dues and you get the axe! Shouldn't somebody be writing protest songs or fasting until this oppression is ended? Free Ruben Rosario!

If joining the union were such a beneficial thing, why does membership have to enforced at the point of a pink slip? Perhaps because acquisition of POWER is at fundamental odds with dissent. If history teaches us anything, it is to beware any institution dedicated to acquiring POWER which also has a distaste for individual free will. Unfortunately, these two dispositions usually go hand in hand.

If you've got some extra time, and extra patience, browse through these contracts and see what kind of power gets yielded once the union is set loose on the workers. Here's an example of the critical protection deemed necessary for the the Star Tribune employees:

4) Seniority (service with the Publisher) will ordinarily determine the distribution of open parking spaces and changes in parking assignments except that, legitimate safety considerations will take precedence over seniority in making such decisions. The seniority and safety criteria will apply to all Star Tribune employees.

d) An ongoing parking committee with Guild participation (pursuant to agreement on worker participation/employee involvement) will recommend future parking rates, consistent with the method used for determining rates; i.e., maintaining revenues sufficient to cover operating expenses and real estate taxes. The ongoing parking committee will continue to address all issues as they relate to parking.

Ongoing parking committees. Now that sounds like a productive use of time. Can someone do the publisher of the Star Tribune a favor and get him the number of a good out sourcing broker? Or better yet, bring on the machines. You can program them to "know stuff" right? And they rarely demand to set up and participate in ongoing parking committees.

Here's another example of the environment necessary for the functioning of the modern newspaper employee, this time from the Pioneer Press contract:

1) No writer shall be required to serve as a photographer, and no photographer shall be required to serve as a writer as a condition of employment subject to the following understandings:

2) Reporters may take pictures and photographers may write stories, but a reporter's competence shall in no instance be judged by his work with a camera and a photographer's work shall in no instance be judged by his work with a typewriter.

Isn't that an excerpt from a Dr. Seuss story? Something about Star Bellied Sneetches or Harp-Twanging Snarps?

These contracts are full of such ridiculous provisions, things entrepreneurs (aka job creators) or conscientious employees would never think of having to negotiate, formalize, and hammer out as contractual obligations. Regular, honest people, with abilities, and a sense of self-respect and self-reliance don't need to get a battery of lawyers or a Union to hammer out details on the procedures for administering parking spots. Much like all of life itself, with the details, you need to trust enough in yourself to work it out. And if you can't do that, you've got bigger problems than finding a place to park at work.

I wonder if employees of these newspapers ever have moments of clarity and wonder what they're getting for their union dues. (How much are they paying? Inside sources, email me, let me know). Perhaps, for some, job security is enough to dispell such heretical thoughts. The protectionist nature of these contracts restrict job growth and artificially inflate wages (to the detriment of those not lucky or well connected enough to get hired and therefore to the larger economy as a whole). That buys a lot loyalty, I'm sure, even from these truth to power speaking journalists. But I wonder if there still aren't some prisoners of conscience there who realize the true nature of these entities. I suspect the union boss who negotiated in the compulsory membership clauses wondered the same thing.