A Prairie Home Attack Dog

Folks from the local GOP has been reading Garrison Keillor's new book about the joys of being a Democrat and they've pulled out a few choice quotes in their Hit of the Week.  To paraphrase, Keillor says:  
 
I didn't become a Democrat because I was angry.
 
Then this tax subsidized bard of the prairie goes on to calmly, rationally describe Republicans as:
 
"...freelance racists, hobby cops, misanthropic frat boys, lizardskin cigar monkeys, jerktown romeos, ninja dittoheads
 
"...the shrieking midgets of AM radio, tax cheats, cheese merchants, cat stranglers, taxi dancers, grab-ass executives..."
 
"...gun fetishists, genteel pornographers, pill pushers, chronic nappers, nihilists in golf pants, backed-up Baptists, Crips and Bloods of the boardroom."
 
I'm kind of disappointed I don't see myself mentioned there.  I come close on "shrieking midget of AM radio" (I'm officially too tall for that and I bellow more than shriek) and "jerktown romeo" (well, I do my best, but that sounds more like an insult Jesse the Body Ventura would have leveled at Jumpin' Jim Brunzelle during the glory days of AWA wrestling.).  Maybe in the second printing Keillor can update that list with "lonely guys who write withering and anonymous social commentary in their underpants." 
 
For reasoned debate on partisan differences, ignore Keillor, pick up some Hewitt.  
 
If It's Not Close, They Can't Cheat:  Crushing the Democrats in Every Election and Why Your Life Depends on It 
 
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