Case Closed

Hurricane Jim Styczinski continues to cut a swath across the Twin Cities political and cultural landscape. Not content to sit back and bask in the glow of his one man wrecking crew victory at Keegan's Thursday night trivia, he apparently is back in Washington D.C. tirelessly mining the Pentagon's document archives. This morning he sends in his latest find, another disturbing memo related to 1 st Lt. G.W. Bush's alleged "service" in the Texas Air National Guard:

I've uncovered another memo that seems to clear up all the recent controversy. I've confirmed its authenticity by comparing it to other memos by the same author which have already been authenticated by a major network news anchor.
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Memo to File

SUBJECT: CYA

1. I'm having trouble handling Bush. He keeps talking about what a waste of time it is to fly in circles over Austin. He says we ought to "fire up these bad boys" and "bomb Baghdad." At first I thought he was just using Baghdad for the alliteration, but then I realized he doesn't know what that means. Instead, he seems to have some strange obsession with Iraq. I do worry what may happen if he achieves higher rank, say Commander-in-Chief.

2. I'm writing this memo to cover my ass because I've observed that Bush has a tendency to smear other officers, especially highly decorated war heroes. His preferred method is to utilize a shadowy cabal of surrogates.

3. If I should die before Bush is elected, please hand this over to Dan Rather, he is a real pro whom I've always admired. But, wait until Bush is running for reelection to his second term. Incidentally, my wife and son are liars, so don't ask them to authenticate this.

4. I have more bad things to say about Bush, but apparently TANG has sold this typewriter to some kid named Gates who wants to use it as a model for some word processing program or something.

initialed
JK
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I think that puts an end to the "bogus document" theory once and for all. My only worry is what the effect may be on the credibility of Powerline--which was repeatedly promoted last night on Fox News as the definitive source of the story. It's hard to believe they'll be able to continue blogging after this scandal breaks. I pray those young whippersnappers have some other marketable skill or trade to fall back on, hopefully in an area less concerned about honesty than the blogosphere.