Word has reached me that the entire blog-reading world has been clamoring for another brilliantly insightful post from yours truly. In fact, I understand that the level of frenzied anticipation has nearly eclipsed the chaos preceding the release of the New Kids on the Block's sophomore effort Hangin' Tough.
While it is true that I haven't written a word since way back on the first day of the Baha'i Feast of 'Izzat, I really think you guys should get off my back. I've got a lot of morsels on plate at the moment...stuff like planning a wedding, studying for my licensure exam, the usual work place drudgery and, perhaps most importantly, constantly trying to avoid irritating the lovely Atomizerette so much that all of the aforementioned wedding plans come to naught and I end up losing the best thing that has ever happened to me and dying a bitter, old, lonely shell of a man whose only solace is downing a half gallon bottle of gin every day and waving a loaded .45 at the neighbor kids as they trample my weed infested lawn and throw rocks and garbage at my front door.
Add to that nightmarish scenario the fact that I spent a good portion of the past week in the northwoods of Minnesota drifting around in a fishing boat repeatedly throwing mammoth muskie lures into waters completely devoid of all aquatic life and accomplishing little more than introducing gallons of brand new toxins to an already overtaxed liver, and you've got the makings of a serious mental disorder.
In hopes of nipping this potential collapse in the bud after my return to civilization early this week, I decided to take baby steps back into the news cycle pond. After a few days of rest, I think I may have stumbled upon a blockbuster.
It seems that this Dan Rather fellow has really stepped in it. Perhaps someone should investigate. I'd do it myself, but the lovely Atomizerette's due home soon and I have to hide all of the porn and empty liquor bottles.
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