The Warrior Princess is not one of us. She is an outsider. A stranger in a strange land. Traversing all the way from Sacramento, CA to live among us. And slowly, but surely, she's being incorporated into our culture. And every year, the MN State Fair serves to fast forward this assimilation process. This year's challenge, coming to terms with circle of life played out in the livestock barns. Here is her story:
This is officially my third year at the Minnesota State Fair. Some people come for the food, the merchandise, the radio talk show celebrities, I come for one reason and one reason alone.
To pet the big pig.
My introduction to the big pig came two years ago. He was a whopping huge pink beast, weighing roughly 960 lbs. I may not remember his name, but I remember the freakish fascination that led me to his cage. Sweaty, smelly, moving just enough to get adequate breath into his massive lungs, he was so ugly you couldn't help but love him, and give him a nice scratch behind the
ears.
SP ADDS: Incidently, this same dynamic is responsible for most traffic in front of the AM1280 The Patriot booth. At least when Rabuse is on the air.
Last year the pig was named Billy. Weighing roughly 1040 lbs, Billy won my admiration by daring to be different. Billy was a black and white spotted pig. He didn't give into the line that a pig's gotta be pink to win the title, he overcame the opposition and clearly earned his crown.
But that is all in the past now. No longer hounded by Paparazzi, and quite possibly now being pepperoni, the former champions have faded from glory with only our memories to remember them by.
They will be remembered fondly, but even in the spotlight, they knew there was always the possibility that the perfect pig would come along and squash every fond memory of greatness in their fans? hearts. Ladies and Gentleman, this year, this pig, has done just that.
I give you, Terry.
The crème de la crème of pigs, 1220 lbs of pork plumped to perfection. Terry had humble enough beginnings. At the age of 6 weeks, weighing a mere 45 lbs, Terry had nothing but his determination, his appetite, and a dream. Working as a stud pig by day to earn a living, Terry used his nights to eat, and sleep, and imagine what it would be like to be the best. It wasn't until 6 months ago Terry finally gave up his day job to pursue portly porkery full time. The training, the discipline was daunting, but being the best required it. And now at the pinnacle of his professional achievement, the sacrifice Terry made is all but forgotten as he has finally received the respect his achievement deserves.
What kind of honor is merited by such a feat? Certainly our cheers for today, but what about tomorrow? How should we as a society pay tribute to our aging legends, our falling stars? Certainly the least we can do is wish them well as they leave the spotlight. I think any decent Minnesotan would agree. Which is why I was appalled when I read this Star Tribune article.
I direct the reader to the bottom third of the article, where the shocking news is reported. Terry is scheduled to be slaughtered Monday afternoon! Monday afternoon! Performing Monday morning, putting on a good face for everyone right up until the final moment, only to be led away from the lime light straight into the meat grinder! And then to only get 12 cents a pound? After all the glory, and all the fame, all Terry comes to is a measly $146.40.
It pains me deeply to know that the hearty hog that has brought all of Minnesota such joy this Fair season will be put to rest in a mere three days. I might head to the fair tomorrow, and if I do I'll go by Terry's cage, and give him a word of encouragement for the days ahead. Maybe one last pat on the back. Terry will be missed, and for the next couple of months at least, you can be sure I will not be looking at pepperoni pizza quite the same.
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