Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Another One To Take To The Grave

Memo to the Red Sox Nation:

You know that there is not a chance in hell that your beloved Sox are going to win tonight, don't you? You understand that their gutty three game rally is merely setting the stage for another heart-wrenching failure, right? It's understood that by the end of the night you'll once again be sobbing in your beer and talking about next year, isn't it?

And yet, you can't turn away can you? You're going to let them tear your guts out and stomp all over them once again aren't you? You're headed for another emotional track wreck, but you can't pull the brake. Likes moths to the flame, you're irresistibly drawn to your own doom. And in some sick way, I think that you actually derive some perverse pleasure by your suffering. You claim that you want to win, but in your hearts you know that you're destined to lose. And you like it.

God only knows what excruciating fate awaits your squad tonight. If you were lucky, the Yanks would blow you out of the park early on, mercifully crushing your hopes. But given your history, we all know that won't happen. No, your loss will not be easy. It will be painful. Full of "could'ves" and "should'ves" that will haunt your memories for years.

As a Twins fan, I can't relate to your situation. Even though we've had a few years or frustrating playoff performances of late, we have won the World Series a couple of times in the modern era. Eighty-six years is a long time to wait isn't it?

But I will most definitely be tuning in to watch the drama unfold tonight. There is no doubt as to the final outcome, only how it will be arrived at. I'm sure there will be a bizarre plot twist or two, and I can only hope that one of them involves ex-Twin Doug "There's No Team In Mientkiewicz No Matter How Long You Look" Mientkiewicz having a Bill Buckner moment at first base. That would be a wicked pissah now, wouldn't it?

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